Happy St. Patrick's Day to a dear friend

My background is French-German on my father’s side, and Russian-English inherited from my mother’s side of the family. Not a drop of Irish blood, and yet I could as soon forget St. Patrick’s Day as I could my own birthday, because I have a dear friend, Katie Dougherty, who is as Irish as Irish can be, and whose friendship means a great deal to me.

The unusual fact about our friendship is that it has endured for more than 20 years, although we have not seen one another in all that time, and our friendship was forged during the only period we have ever been together, which was exactly 10 days in Italy. Since that time, Kay has lived in Iowa and more recently in Minnesota, while I, of course, have remained in Connecticut. Because Val and I moved so often during his working years, I do have some old friends living in far-flung places, but those friendships were formed during a few years when there was a close connection. I have no other friend of such long duration that I knew for such a brief period.

I met Kay during a tour of Italy. A sudden business emergency kept Val at home, but I was unwilling to cancel my first trip to Italy, and was therefore, traveling alone. Kay was with her friend, Angela, with whom she often traveled, when on a bus tour her jovial voice boomed out, “Hey, does anyone know the score for the Iowa game?” Since the University of Iowa is my alma mater, I had to yell back, “I don’t know the score, but are you from Iowa?” As is sometimes the case when you are in unfamiliar surroundings, any connection to home assumes an out-of-proportion importance, and that may be why Angela, and especially Kay, instantly “adopted” me.

We became an inseparable threesome for the remainder of the trip, and fortunately we discovered we had many similar interests. We all delighted so much in the Uffizi Museum in Florence, we very nearly were locked in at closing time. We had found our way into a “restricted” area and were so fascinated with the contents, we almost didn’t hear the closing bells until doors began to clang shut.

Another day in Rome, I introduced them to a restaurant I had read about, and we were all thrilled with the elegant atmosphere and the solicitous waiters, who kept bringing small tidbits of different foods for us to sample. Our delight was short-lived when the bill arrived and we learned those were not samples, but expensive appetizers. We had to pool all our cash to pay the bill, and I can still recall Katie’s barely suppressed fits of laughter as we tried to look nonchalant while digging for every last coin under the now-suspicious eye of the maitre d’.

Kay came to my rescue in Venice, when coming out of a church in the early evening, I was bewitched by my first sight of the Grand Canal at dusk and fell flat on my face on the cobblestones.

Some years later, when my daughter, Marianne, attended the University of Iowa, Kay and Angela traveled to see her and took her to lunch. Angela has since died, but Kay sent me photos of Angela’s daughter and has also kept me informed of her own family’s weddings, births and special events.

Kay rarely travels anymore, and I have never had any desire to visit Minnesota, but we stay in touch with letters and phone calls, and it always gladdens my heart to hear Kay’s lilting Irish voice at the other end of the wire. I shall always be grateful to Kay for extending a warm, welcoming hand to a lone traveler and for remaining close during all the passing years.

For Kay, and for all my readers (Irish or otherwise), a happy St. Patrick’s Day, and for luck, an Irish blessing:

May you always have work for your hands to do.

May your pockets always hold a coin or two.

May the sun shine bright on your windowpane.

May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain.

May the hand of a friend always be near you.

And may God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Now here’s a woman who knows how to get things done

Most of us, at one time or another, have had to try to find a solution to a unique problem or to accomplish an unusual task. Julie Subotky, the founder of Consider It Done and author of the book by the same name, does just that for a living.

Whether an unusual or mundane job, Julie gets things done ... for other people.

From how to sneak an elephant into a public park to how to guarantee your luggage won’t get lost, “Consider It Done” covers the “how to” of more than 200, some useful and some irrelevant but interesting, tricky tasks.

A few tips were particularly senior worthy. For instance, I read with interest her “How to teach your elderly relative to be computer savvy,” because although I have had to learn to use the computer for business purposes and find it extremely useful, in doing anything much past basic, I’m a complete dud.

When I call on son Mike, the family expert, unless it is a true emergency, he will remark with some exasperation, “Mom, I’ve explained that to you, already” or equally discouraging, “Read the instruction book, Mom.”

What the author suggests would take a truly devoted son or daughter a commitment of many hours of work to accomplish. “Introduce Mom to basic lingo, quick lessons on the anatomy of a web page, home page, hyperlinks, browser windows, back buttons, search engines and adjusting text size so she doesn’t strain her eyes. (Incidentally, why if a person is a slow learner, are they always assumed to be “she”?)

The author continues by recommending that the helper also spend time practicing e-mail and web searches together. I thought the most realistic suggestion was to sign Mom up and pay for “Go to My PC Account,” which provides 24/7 customer support including training videos.

In the List Department, Subotky’s “How to Get Things Done” is right on target. Since the human brain can’t remember more than five to seven things in short-term memory, you need to write a to-do list in a notebook; not on the back of the envelope for the phone bill.

If you are not the notebook type, a digital to-do list is OK, but just be sure it is easily accessible. It is very important to include the next steps on your list. There is always a next step that needs to be taken and that is where many of us fail. Equally important is to give every task a deadline and to set aside a time every day to review your list. (For me, morning works best. If I look at my list before going to bed, I can’t fall asleep from worrying about what I have to do). Finally, reward yourself when you complete difficult tasks.

Although “Consider It Done” definitely holds your interest, I found that too many solutions involve gross exaggeration or even downright lying. For example, the advice about getting the best seat on an airline suggests you travel with crutches or tell the booking agent that you will be traveling with a small child and then leave the “imaginary tyke” at home at the last minute.

I felt the same about advice on how to pretend you follow the TV show all your friends talk about. If I have to look at a website featuring weekly recaps of shows that I have no interest in seeing in order to keep a friendship, there’s something wrong with the basis for those friendships. Anyway, who wants friends whose major conversation is about TV shows? I did, however, approve the author’s advice to the menfolk on “How to Get Your Wife to Let You Watch the Game in Peace.”

It is best to have a group of friends over so she knows this is a major event, but don’t expect her to do shopping and cooking; that’s your job. Also, treat her to something that she will enjoy, like a manicure or spa treatment so that she doesn’t even have to be around. Touchdown!

Despite the aforementioned drawback, “Consider It Done” is a sometimes useful, but always entertaining, read.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Postcard from a magical day in NYC

On one of those all-too-rare sunny and warm days recently, I finally was able to take a longed-for opportunity to go into New York City. Meeting my New Jersey friend and travel companion, Barbara Borchardt at the Metropolitan Museum, we spent several hours ogling the wonders of their major exhibit, “Treasures from the Forbidden City,” which contains a breathtaking collection of items from the opulent retirement residence of the Qianlong Emperor who presided over China’s last dynasty.

After a leisurely lunch in the Met’s beautiful dining room overlooking Central Park, we headed for the Jewish Museum, nearby, for an exhibit on the fascinating and still famous, Harry Houdini. My mother had seen Houdini, whose name is synonymous with magic, perform one of his famous straitjacket escapes in London, and her vivid re-telling of that experience to me, as a little girl, had left a lasting impression. The exhibit, while not large, is very entertaining and well laid out, and we were particularly fortunate to arrive just as one of the docents was beginning a tour.

Houdini, who was born Ehrich Weisz in Budapest in 1874, was one of seven children of a rabbi and his wife who joined the immigrant stream to America where Ehrich (soon called Harry) grew up in Appleton, Wis., and in a boardinghouse on East 79th Street in New York. At the tender age of 9, little Harry was a practicing trapeze artist, calling himself, “Prince of the Air.”

As he grew up, he played dime museums and sideshows and initially focused on card tricks. He was influenced by the French magician Jean Eugene Robert-Houdin and began to use the name of Harry Houdini. While performing in Coney Island, he met Bess Rahner whom he soon married and who became his lifelong assistant.

His career took off upon meeting vaudeville impresario Martin Beck, and at age 26, he toured Europe. His escape from handcuffs supplied by Scotland Yard in London baffled the police and gained much publicity, and he became known as the “handcuff king.”

Houdini was a master of self-promotion, utilizing the poster, which was just becoming popular, as a way to promote himself. He often would also perform an outdoor feat just before an indoor stage show, usually choosing a site near the newspaper office, so reporters and photographers were sure to cover the event and feature it in the morning paper.

He stayed ahead of other performers by constant innovation and by taking great risks along with rigorous training. He invented the “Chinese Water Torture Cell,” on view at the exhibit, a glass and steel cabinet filled with water in which he was suspended, upside down and handcuffed. In order to escape, he had to hold his breath for over 3 minutes.

He nearly died during one “Buried Alive” stunt in Santa Ana, Calif. Buried in a 6-foot pit, he became exhausted and panicky and had to call for help. He was especially idolized by immigrants and the poor as a symbol of indomitable will ... nothing could imprison him or hold him back. He became active in exposing charlatans who were duping people by claiming supernatural powers and as a member of the Scientific American Committee, offered a cash prize to anyone who could successfully demonstrate supernatural abilities.

This crusade cost him his friendship with Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, author of Sherlock Holmes, who was a devout believer in Spiritualism. His brief movie career was not successful, but he was such a celebrity that years later he would be given a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

Several movies were made about his life; one which incorrectly portrayed the manner of his death starred Tony Curtis and Janet Leigh. A more recent movie based on his life was “Death Defying Acts” and starred Catherine Zeta Jones. He was honored on a 2002 postage stamp, and there is a Houdini Museum in Scranton, Pa.

Harry Houdini was fond of ending his performances with the phrase, “Will wonders never cease?” The lasting wonder of this legendary performer is his enduring fame and lasting imprint on our culture.

‰“Treasures from the Forbidden City” is at the Metropolitan Museum to May 1.

‰“Conjuring Houdini” is at the Jewish Museum at Fifth Ave and 92nd Street (closed on Wednesdays) through March 27.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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SENIOR MOMENTS: Things are looking up for those of us who happen to be aging

Geriatrics is the branch of medical science that deals with the diseases and complex needs specific to the elderly. Its goals are to promote health, prevent and treat diseases with an emphasis on helping to maintain functional independence.

Geriatric doctors work with many other specialists to provide comprehensive care for patients with multiple needs. A certain Dr. Christopher Jones defined it more succinctly as “pediatrics for wrinkly people.”

Despite the fact that the “wrinkly population” is growing by leaps and bounds, to date there are fewer than 10,000 licensed geriatric specialists throughout the United States. We are, therefore, indeed fortunate in Greater New Haven to have an outstanding geriatrics program at Yale-New Haven Hospital, which not only offers some renowned geriatric specialists, but the hospital is also the source of groundbreaking research programs.

Yale researchers have already achieved national recognition with their studies on preventing falls, reducing delirium, decreasing functional decline and enhancing driving performance in seniors.

Yale-New Haven physicians also act as teachers and mentors to health-care professionals and as advocates for health-care policies that will encourage elders’ independence.

I spoke at length recently with the charming and deceptively boyish-looking Dr. Thomas Gill, who is one of the country’s leading experts on functional decline and disability in older adults.

Gill recently established the Yale Center on Disability and Disabling Disorders. In addition, he directs the Claude D. Pepper Older Americans Independence Center at the Yale School of Medicine. Many readers may remember the fiery Pepper, long-serving Democratic senator from Florida, who became the nation’s foremost spokesman for the elderly.

Gill is acting as the principle investigator at Yale for two exciting nationwide studies that are evaluating how to help older persons maintain their independence and increase their well being. The trial study is recruiting men 65 or older and will determine if replacing testosterone in older men with low levels can reverse some of the unwanted symptoms of aging. The second study, called LIFE, is seeking men and women ages 70-89, and will compare two different lifestyle approaches to maintaining independence: physical activity vs. health promotion and education.

Volunteers should be those individuals who don’t currently exercise and may be having some difficulty with everyday activities such as getting in and out of a car, climbing steps or some walking outside the home.

They must be willing to meet up to twice a week for the duration of the study, (about three years) although a one-month break for travel or family obligations is allowed each year. All volunteers will have a unique opportunity to grow physically and mentally and to form interesting friendships. And isn’t it rewarding to know that as a volunteer, you will not only be helping yourself, but potentially, future generations of seniors, as well.

I had a delightful chat with one enthusiastic participant, Curtis Patton, a fascinating 75-years-young former professor with a full and active retirement life, who said he is greatly enjoying the continuing connection with others in the group that he has gotten to know.

Two other excellent resources at Yale–New Haven Hospital that readers should know about are:

-The Acute Care for the Elderly Unit — a model of interdisciplinary care for older patients featuring a team of physicians, nurses, physical and occupational therapists, a care coordinator, dietitian and social worker who meet and review the goals of care for each patient.

-The Dorothy Adler Geriatric Assessment Center — an outpatient center that uses a team approach to work with patients and their families to develop plans of care to keep patients independent and conducts tests for cognitive decline.

To inquire about volunteer opportunities for the LIFE Study program for men and women, call 203-785-7597, or go to geriatrics.yale.edu/research/life.aspx. For the male-only testosterone study, call 203-737-5672, or go to www.ttrial.org.

Seems as if this might be the best possible of times to be growing older.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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