Ladies, we outlive the boys by a number of years, so consider this

But older women, who outnumber older men, depend on Social Security to provide as much as 90 percent of their income when they run out of their retirement funds.

Because many of today’s older women did not earn a pension and because they live longer than their partners, Social Security is the only thing standing between many women and poverty. Women, on average, accumulate less income than men in retirement because they are more likely to have held part-time jobs, interrupt their careers to care for children or elderly family members and they still only earn about 77 percent of what men earn, according to census data.

It all means that women have less working years to pay into Social Security and since they live longer than men, they also incur more medical costs, causing them to deplete their savings.

Meanwhile, due to economic conditions, the ability of Medicare and Medicaid to meet the coming demands for care, is being challenged, with some reforms almost inevitable. Both MetLife and The Guardian have departed the long-term care insurance industry, and John Hancock and Genworth have raised rates.

However, two very large assisted-living companies have announced that they will begin offering families the option of converting existing life insurance policies to long-term care plans by working with Life Care Funding Group, so that families can exchange a life insurance policy in order to be enrolled in a long-term benefit plan that will pay a monthly amount directly to any of their facilities.

It is important for life insurance policyholders to know that at the time of lapse or surrender of their policies, they have a variety of alternative options to consider.

Life insurance policies are unqualified assets for Medicaid eligibility and are counted against an applicant if they are beyond any state-allowed exemptions. The conversion option, however, is considered a qualified spend-down and is now a strategy that can be used by long-term care providers.

Many seniors have been unaware that their life insurance policies are valuable assets and can be used in this way, and as a result, some of them let their policies lapse.

When times are tough, too many people are tempted by “get-rich quick” schemes and seniors, because they grew up in more innocent and trustworthy times, are especially vulnerable. A future column will cover protecting yourself from prize scams, but seniors, like everyone else, should remember to seek advice before making any major decision.

Call an elder law attorney or your local Agency on Aging at 203-785-8533 or The Shoreline Eldercare Alliance at 1-800-426-5086 for help.

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Buy gas early or late in the day and try to fly on Wednesdays

In today’s busy world where good service is becoming harder and harder to find, choosing the right time to accomplish your tasks can make all the difference. Try the following hints for the best (and worst) times for completing your “to-do” list.

Best time to shop for groceries — Supermarket traffic is lightest on a weekday morning and busier in the evening and on weekends. Produce is freshest on Tuesdays and Fridays, which are the usual delivery days, or check with the manager to learn their delivery days.

Best time for a doctor’s appointment — The first appointment of the morning or the one right after lunch. It is also perfectly all right to complain in a polite manner if you are kept waiting more than 20 minutes.

To buy a gym membership or join a weight-loss program — January is when these places offer special deals so that folks can keep their New Year’s resolutions. January is also the traditional month for those “white sales.”

Workout — When you feel most awake. Despite conventional wisdom, if you want to lose weight, you should work out before eating anything. If you are looking to perform better or are in an event, then eat light, first.

Cheapest day to fly — Wednesday, followed by Tuesday and Saturday. The very first flight in the morning, the “red eye” flight or after lunch or dinner. The best day to buy your airline ticket is Tuesday. Check prices on Farecompare.com.

Buy gas — Early in the morning or after sunset. The Environmental Protection Agency advises that cooler temperatures at those times of the day mean less evaporated gas emissions (less pollution and more bang for your buck.

Have hip replacement surgery — According to Dr. Frank Frassica of Johns Hopkins, people who are the least satisfied with their hip replacement surgery have it too early. When pain and disability are disrupting your life, then it is time to consult a surgeon. Age is also important since hip replacement devices have a life expectancy of 15-20 years.

Best time of day for any surgery — If it can be scheduled for early in the morning, you are likely to have less pain and nausea. Also, early in the week is better than near the weekend when hospital staffing is minimal.

To buy that car you’ve been wanting — The last days of the month in September, October and November. This is the time of year the new models arrive and dealers are trying to meet their quotas.

Best time to walk your dog — Early or late in the day during the summer months; midday in cold weather (unless Fido is giving sure signs of needing to go out sooner). Dogs can’t sweat, so they are more susceptible to heat exhaustion than humans and unless they have a heavy coat of hair and are of a rugged breed, they mind the frigid weather, as well.

Worst time to get a prescription filled — The beginning of any month when many people receive their Social Security checks and pharmacies are really busy. A recent study also found that there’s a 25 percent increase in medication errors during the first few days of any month.

Worst time to have any elective surgery — July or August, especially if you are booked into a teaching hospital where new medical interns are just starting. By winter or the following spring, they have had time to gain experience and in the event of complications, your doctor is less likely to have left on vacation.

Even with all of the above advice, I’m reminded of the words from one of my favorite songs from “La Cage Aux Folles”:

“What’s left of summer

But a faded rose?

The best of times is now

As for tomorrow, well, who knows?

Who knows? Who knows?”

“So hold this moment fast

And live and love

As hard as you know how

And make this moment last

Because the best of times is now,

Is now, is now.”

May all your times, be the best of times.

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Passing along a few passing thoughts on departing from this life

Although death is an inevitability that every living creature shares, it is also, for the most part, a subject that remains taboo in our society. However, this past week, several unrelated events all brought the subject front and center and made me realize it is, perhaps, something we should take time to seriously ponder.

First, I visited a longtime friend who recently, and rather suddenly, lost her husband to cancer and now, like so many older women, must somehow find new meaning in a life without a loving partner.

Then, on July 31, Val and I celebrated 58 years of marriage, and although Val, ever the engineer, figured that meant we had had 21,170 breakfasts together, I am well aware that we may not have many more anniversaries to share.

I also made what will probably be my final sojourn for the summer into New York to view the highly publicized blockbuster exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum, “Savage Beauty,” a collection of the extraordinary designs of Alexander McQueen, who at age 40, recently committed suicide. That same afternoon, after meeting friends for lunch, we all attended a matinee of a new musical, “Death Takes a Holiday.”

As to the McQueen exhibit, which closes at midnight today, the dramatic method of showcasing about 100 of his designs was exceedingly well done. The clothes themselves were more esoteric works of art than anything wearable.

Feathered finery that made the mannequins look like birds of paradise, sequined tights, “armadillo” boots with 12-inch heels, outfits often topped with voluminous headdresses or metal face masks.

Although many viewers felt McQueen’s creativity made you see fashion in a new way, I thought many of the designs, even when weirdly stunning, were macabre and completely unwearable by anyone, anywhere.

McQueen used the runway as a theatrical stage, casting his models as part of a huge chess game, floating underwater or consumed by fire. He called his shows “my own living nightmare.” I left feeling that he would have been an exceptional theatrical designer or artist in a different medium. For me, the beauty of clothing design lies in the fabric, the cut and the wearability of the fashions.

The new musical show, “Death Takes A Holiday” is almost like an operetta, so much of the play is sung and sung beautifully, by an excellent cast. The story, of course, involves death deciding to take a brief holiday to find out why people fear him and also to learn what living is like.

He falls in love and realizes the wonder and beauty of life. His dilemma is that in order to keep his love, she will have to “depart” with him. “Death Takes a Holiday” is a beautiful and uplifting show and makes us realize that although death awaits all of us, meanwhile, as one of the show’s songs says, “Life is a Joy.”

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Doctor-patient conversations need not be a lost art

For me, one of the few worthwhile results of our recent heat wave was that confined to the blessedness of our centrally air-conditioned home, I finally got around to cleaning out some files.

In so doing, I came across some useful information regarding helping your physician to help you.

Almost past remembering now, there was a time when doctors made house calls, knew all their patients and the patients’ families, intimately, and had unlimited time just for you. The family doctor was a lifelong friend with whom good conversation came easily.

Now, although there are more elderly people, there are fewer physicians, especially those specializing in geriatric care. Due to diminished budgets, doctors have a very limited amount of time to spend with each individual, so good communication between doctor and patient becomes even more crucial.

Some doctors speak a simple language and make an effort to simplify and explain. Others, equally competent, speak a medical jargon that only another doctor can understand. Of course, each of us has our own style of communicating and what one person likes in a doctor, another may not.

Some people prefer the direct and concise, briskly-down-to-business type. Others, want and need a personal relationship, someone who is warm and supportive. Naturally, it goes without saying that it is important to choose someone with an excellent medical reputation.

If you go to a new area or are finding a new specialist, check the medical licensing board in the state to see if there are any complaints filed, or contact People’s Medical Society at 462 Walnut St., Allentown, Pa. 18102. Also make sure the doctor is board certified by calling American Board of Medical Specialties, 1-800-776-CERT.

As a first step to good conversation, you need to ask yourself, “How much do I want to know?” Some people don’t want all the details about their bodies and a treatment plan. They want the doctor to make all major decisions. Other people (and I’m one of them) come armed with a list of questions and want to know all the facts and will usually get at least one more opinion if a surgical or long-term treatment is involved.

The second step is to communicate to your doctor about your feelings and what is going on in your own body. You should not be ashamed to talk over any changes in your lifestyle, including problems like drinking or drugs. Don’t withhold information; something you think is minor could be important. Be sure to include any stressful happenings, including difficulties with a child, spouse or parent.

Third, take notes or ask someone to come with you. Under stress, we all listen, selectively. Make sure you understand any instructions the doctor has given you. If you are not sure, ask the doctor to repeat or rephrase.

Be careful, however, about sounding adversarial; doctors are human and become defensive if they feel they are being attacked. If you need more information, ask the doctor to suggest reading material. Be wary of websites advertising and selling products that claim to improve your health.

The federal government’s Department of Health and Human Services has a website to help people find information at www.healthfinder.gov. Many associations and voluntary organizations (some devoted to specific diseases) are also an excellent source of information.

The more you know and can communicate clearly to your doctor, the more successful the relationship and the state of your health will be.

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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