Celebrating Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day, too

This is the first time in my memory of writing “Senior Moments” that the column has occurred between the Chinese New Year and Valentine’s Day. That is probably due to the fact that although Valentine’s Day remains a constant in the calendar, Chinese New Year fluctuates and this year arrived on the last day of January, rather than the usual sometime in early February date.


This year, the Year of the Horse, is the 7th in their zodiac cycle and since, historically, the horse is the symbol of power, it should prove to be a gainful year. (I’m not superstitious, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed, just in case).


Valentine’s Day will occur Friday, previous to Sunday’s column. The two special days are not as far apart ideologically, as one might suppose. Much of the mythology surrounding the zodiac cycle pertains to personality characteristics and appropriate zodiac signs under which to find the most suitable romantic partners.


Speaking of romantic partners reminds me of an offer from the Canyon Ranch Hotel in Miami Beach for a 3-day program devoted to bond-building through intimacy therapy and a couples’ spa treatment, featuring a mud bath and massage. If any potential beau ever saw me in a mud bath, I am sure I would have remained a lifelong spinster. Along with the Times advertisement for a signed Broncos Mini Helmet for almost $400, I can’t imagine anything I would want less as a gift.


My daughter, Marianne, has always said that Valentine’s Day was her favorite holiday because other holidays celebrated the birth or death of a famous person, but Feb. 14 celebrated the person each of us chooses to love and remember. So in addition to my family and some cherished longtime friends, this year I would like to send special valentines to:


• Old beaus and long-forgotten sweethearts whose affection and attention helped me grow and gain self-confidence in the knowledge that I was, indeed, “lovable.”


• Members of Congress, who with the debt ceiling looming once again, should learn, if not to love one another, at least to work together for the good of the rest of us. A shining example and a special valentine to those on both sides of the aisle fighting to get the Equal Pay for Women Bill passed.


• Former New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg for giving $650 million of his own fortune for New York causes and also to wish him well in his new position as special UN envoy for large cities to help with their problems and speed climate change initiatives.


• Congratulations and valentine wishes to Angelina Jolie, recipient of the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award. She is someone who uses her fame and fortune to help others.


• Philip Seymour Hoffman, an outstanding and versatile acting talent who at age 46 should have had many more productive years in movies and the theater, but instead became another victim of drug addiction and passed away from an accidental overdose.


• A big, very special valentine to teachers, librarians, police officers, firemen, members of the Armed Forces, health aides and nurses, plumbers and electricians, waiters, sanitation workers … all the many people doing the hard, often unseen jobs, that help to make the lives of the rest of us, run smoothly.


And, if like so many in their senior years, you have recently lost someone dear to you, which makes Valentine’s Day seem bittersweet, take comfort in the wise words of Helen Keller:


“What we once enjoyed
And deeply loved


We can never lose
For all we love deeply


Becomes a part of us.”
Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

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My Spring Fashion Review comes out a bit early this season

My hard-working editor (according to him), will be leaving on vacation and since staffing at the paper is somewhat reduced (did they all leave for Florida?) he has asked me to write a few columns in advance to enable him to correct my spelling and punctuation and additionally catch any unintentional print “faux pas.”

Normally, “Senior Moments” is written about 6 days before the column appears. This is difficult enough as I often have trouble exerting control over my life on a day-to-day basis, let alone weeks in advance, and I certainly haven’t a clue as to what important topics may occur nationally. However, I shall try to comply with his request, but if the next few columns seem “out of sync” with the world, you will know who to blame.

I felt a good place to start might be with my usual Spring Fashion Review since in my opinion, fashions are not only completely “out of sync” with the average woman’s lifestyle, most of them look as though they came from another planet. To add to the confusion, current catalogs from Lands’ End, Talbots and countless others as well as the department stores are all featuring spring fashions; but in New York where Fashion Week recently concluded, the designers were showing clothes for next fall.

Although in some cases, it doesn’t seem to matter. There were the usual “fashionistas,” who despite the challenge of several feet of snow in New York, wore open-toed, high heels and short skirts and looked utterly ridiculous as they tried to navigate from car to sidewalk. Everyone with an ounce of sense was living in their fur-lined Merrells or UGGs.

Uneven hemlines, some cut thigh-high to show lots of leg or in many cases, over-the-knee boots or high lace-up shoes, were featured in many collections.

There is even a new name for shoes or boots that come up to your unmentionables. They are called “shants” for shoe-pants. I have enough trouble many mornings just bending down to get into my regular shoes. I can’t begin to envision what kind of contortions are required to get into those thigh-high numbers, and what if you are in a restaurant and get too warm?

I liked some of the asymmetrical jackets. If they aren’t too extreme, they can be flattering to us fuller-figured gals, but I’ll definitely skip dying my hair a brilliant blue, purple or orange. No wonder many of the models in short, boyish haircuts with these colors were positively scowling. Also very much in evidence at all the shows were see-through dresses, lots of lace and fringe trim, multiple rings on all fingers of the hand and expensive, “designer” athletic wear. Now you’re supposed to spend a lot of money just to go to your gym workout?

In the stores, I saw the always bold combination of black and white, a great boon to those of us on a budget as one new item in either color can team up with something already in your wardrobe. Perky, colorful prints always spell spring, and if you want to stay ahead of the calendar but still need a “refresher,” a brightly colored scarf can perk up a winter outfit … ditto a yellow or green leather handbag to carry right now.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford 06405.

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Get end-of-life documents in order before it’s too late

While we have all heard the saying, “Time and tide wait for no man,” many of us don’t really believe it. When it comes to our own mortality, we all too often procrastinate, with what can be disastrous results for ourselves and our loved ones. For some advice and answers to this important problem, I talked recently with two dynamic attorneys who have joined forces to create a unique legal practice.

Attorneys Cynthia Cartier and Raymond Bower have formed Cartier& Bower, LLC, with offices in Guilford to provide practical solutions for the challenges people face in their daily lives. Offering expertise in the areas of elder law, which includes planning for long-term care, estate planning and living wills, family law, personal injury, business law and real estate, they are able to provide expert, compassionate advice. I asked them what were the most important documents that all seniors should have prepared. 

No. 1: The durable power of attorney which creates an agency relationship under which the principal appoints another person to transact business, legal and financial matters for the principal. It is effective until the death of the principal.

Why You Need It: It can prevent many problems caused by the incapacity of the principal. It can avoid the need for expensive and hard-to-obtain guardianship and conservatorship rights. It allows the person you have chosen to take quick action on your behalf.

No. 2: Appointment of a health-care representative. You appoint another individual to make health-care decisions on your behalf in case you are either incapacitated or unable to understand the consequences of a health-care decision. The designated agent may request, receive and review information regarding your physical and mental health, medical and hospital records and may employ or discharge health-care providers. They may also authorize admissions or discharges from a health-care facility and consent to the provision, withholding or withdrawal of health-care, including life-sustaining procedures.

Why You Need It: Ensures an agent exists that can follow your wishes and express them to health-care providers at a time when you are unable to do so yourself. It can help to eliminate confusion and indecision when timely decisions are required, and it avoids family disputes as to who is in charge of making those decisions.

No. 3: Advance care directive or living will. Connecticut law provides that if a person’s medical condition is “terminal” or “permanently unconscious” and such person has executed a living will expressing the intent they be allowed to die, the physician will not be liable to a lawsuit for ceasing life-sustaining measures. The form generally provides that if you are not able to make an informed decision regarding your health care, you direct the health-care provider to follow the instructions in the document. There are many possible provisions that can be included to meet your specific wishes for unusual situations or for specific religious beliefs.

Why You Need It: Helps to ensure that the treatments you will receive in a terminal or permanently unconscious situation are in concert with your wishes and provides guidance to your health-care representative.

No. 4: The will or revocable living trust answers the question of who will inherit your assets after death and the best way to pass on those assets to comply with your wishes. Both documents also should analyze the amount of various taxes that could be payable at death and then devise the best methods to eliminate, minimize or postpone their impact.

Why You Need It: If you do not have one of these documents, your assets will pass under the laws of intestacy and may not go to the beneficiaries you intend. You also lose the ability to make tax elections that could maximize the value of what you pass on to your heirs. As to which document you should choose should be decided with the advice of your attorney as there are plusses and minuses with each approach.

— Cartier & Bower are at 2488 Boston Post Road, Guilford, 203-458-1477.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

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It’s all we talk about: snow, snow and more snow - ugh

“February is merely as long as is needed to pass the time until March” — Dr. J.R. Stockton

Snow, horse-drawn sleighs, a crackling fire, all look very nice in photographs or in the movies, but the realities of this Connecticut winter are not so picturesque.

In fact, like most everyone I speak with, I seem to be getting my fill of winter early this year; even though I usually shrug off winters in our state, having survived four winters in Chicago. (Now, that’s cold!) Actually, it is not even the snow or cold that are bothersome, it is the ice and the fear of falling. I drive around the block twice, searching for a clear patch of pavement on which to alight, and I amble along, head down, fearful of a sudden, unseen slippery area. I am even tempted to buy a cane although so far I’ve fought the thought.

Anyway, how does one manage packages, a pocketbook and a cane and still keep one’s equilibrium?

I guess I will have to develop that particular balancing skill because I am planning hip surgery on the left hip in early April. As part of the pre-surgery preparation, I recently spent the better part of a day at Yale-New Haven Hospital having a body scan. With a few hours to kill between procedures, I made a thorough inventory of the gift shop; even finding a cute Valentine’s Day gift for my daughter. The gift shop carries an excellent selection of unique and medium-priced jewelry and good-looking handbags in case you decide to reward yourself when visiting someone at the hospital.

This cold weather also seems to encourage me to go to bed earlier than my usual 11:30 or midnight; the down comforter and a chance to watch television with a bedside cup of hot tea, enticing me to stop whatever I’m doing and get into bed by 9 or 9:30. Lately, of course, I’m seeing more snow as I watch the Olympics in Russia.

I always thought the downhill skiers were incredible, but watching the snowboarders, taking off from a great height, hurtling over ramps and somersaulting in the air with nothing but a board, loosely strapped to their feet, is either great bravery or sheer insanity. The only way I could ever come down a snowy hill of that height is if somebody pushed me. Just looking at all the snow on television makes me yearn for hot chicken soup, and even though I know I shouldn’t, something chocolaty and probably fattening. Here’s a recipe for Cookie Dough Cocoa that fills the bill on both counts:

Whisk together, butter, brown sugar and cookie dough ice cream in a saucepan till melted. Add some water, stir till steaming, then serve with whipped cream on top. Till next Sunday, I leave you with two thoughts: The snow capital of the United States is Stampede Pass in Washington state. Each year, their average snowfall is 430 inches!

The Eskimos have 52 different words for snow. I have only one: “Ugh”!

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

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