Pleased to meet you, Mr. Herb Jay of Gardenside in Branford

Who has not wondered if, given unlimited means, where they would choose to live?

Some might envision a beach home in Hawaii, complete with a glistening pool under the palm trees. Others would choose a ranch with a stable of fine horses. Still others, an exotic hideaway in a foreign country.

My special “dream home” would be a duplex apartment overlooking Central Park (and if the powers that be wanted to throw in an aging theater critic or restaurant reviewer as a sometime companion, so much the better).

I recently spent a most-engaging afternoon with Mr. Herb Jay, admittedly a multimillionaire who could have chosen any of the above, but instead is happily ensconced in a pleasant, but unremarkable apartment at The Hearth at Gardenside, a senior living community on Alps Road in Branford.

The life story of this twinkling, blue-eyed octogenarian is a legendary American rags-to-riches tale. Herb grew up in Ridgewood, Brooklyn, and like many others, was enabled to make the first step out of poverty by attending college on the GI Bill.

He became extremely successful in the advertising field and as an executive at NBC. He introduced “The Dean Martin Show” and hired Carol Burnett and Dick Van Dyke and produced NBC specials featuring luminaries such as Tony Bennett, Pat Boone, Liza Minnelli, Rosemary Clooney, Arthur Godfrey, Robert Goulet and Maurice Chevalier.

In fact, there are very few famous show-business personalities that Herb and his wife did not know and entertain. In 1971, along with many other successful executives, Herb and his wife moved to Weston, purchased a 3-acre spread complete with horse barn and guest cottage. He soon became a trustee of the Maritime Aquarium, did advertising for the Courage to Speak Foundation and was a director of the Norwalk Chamber of Commerce.

In addition, he was the director and chairman of the trust committees of several Norwalk banks, as well as opening and overseeing the Ethan Allen store in Norwalk.

This idyllic life was interrupted when after Thanksgiving last year, a routine CAT scan showed blood clots in Herb’s lung and he ended up in Norwalk Hospital.

Herb and Charlotte’s daughter, Amy, saw an advertisement for a furnished apartment “special” winter break at Gardenside and suggested it to her parents.

They never left when the winter break was over despite the fact that they still own a house in Westport and a condominium in Branford overlooking the water.

Herb is completely sold on the senior living community lifestyle and especially on his lifestyle at Gardenside.

He says the staff is excellent and he loves not having to worry about having to hire or manage help or be concerned about turnover.

Accustomed to eating in some of New York’s and Europe’s finest restaurants, he is very pleased with the quality and variety of food at Gardenside and is delighted with the friends he and his wife, a talented artist, have made. Although I work with many senior communities and help future residents with their various decisions regarding a move, not everyone makes the transition as seamlessly as these two have.

Having no financial worries, is of course, a great help, but more than that, Herb Jay is an outstanding example of a positive-thinking personality who obviously delights in life and savors and appreciates every day.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Normally, a whirlwind week provides plenty of column inspiration

Every once in awhile, despite having had a busy and productive week, nothing that I have done readily translates into an interesting column (which is always written and submitted a week in advance). Last week, for instance, a trip to the Litchfield area and the Hopkins Inn and winery at Lake Waramaug should have made a good read. But if you’ll recall, a week ago, Friday, it poured all day, and our Guilford library trip to see the fall colors, a historic house and garden and the winery was a bit of a “wash out.” By the time we arrived at the winery, we were more than ready to down seven varieties of wine in the sampler tasting part of the program.

This past week, I did get into New York City to see a preview of the soon-to-open play, “The Heiress,” which, if you recall, was a movie by the same name with Olivia de Havilland and Montgomery Clift. It is a wonderfully dramatic story of the heartache of a shy woman, jilted on the eve of her marriage.

The play, with Jessica Chastain, David Strathairn and Judith Ivey, is a brilliant example of great ensemble acting. Also enjoyed one of the exceptional Metropolitan Opera simulcasts at a local movie theater (in this case, “Otello”), but again, not sufficient material for an entire column.

With no specific subject in mind to write about, I find my mind has a rare opportunity to wander where it will and odd thoughts surface unexpectedly. For example, does it strike anyone else as not just inconsistent but downright absurd that in a time of worldwide crisis and budgetary woes and election mania in America, Saks Fifth Avenue has run a full-page advertisement announcing the opening of a 10,022-square-foot salon so big it even has its own zip code, devoted exclusively to shoes?

Whatever happened to the one or two pairs of shoes for everyday wear and one pair for dress, concept? Now, women have shoe wardrobes, with many pairs commanding stratospheric prices. When did American women get infected with Imelda Marcos Syndrome and require hundreds of pairs of shoes, most of which are not suitable for walking?

The other luxury item that seems to be in great demand are fancy wristwatches. The last time I looked, I only have two wrists, on one of which is a nice serviceable watch I bought 15 years ago. The younger generation tells time by looking at their iPhones, so who is buying all the many fancy, expensive watches I see advertised?

While thinking about time, my brain does a natural segue to remind readers that unfortunately, today, Nov. 4, daylight saving time ends, and you must set your clocks back one hour, a sad reminder that it will get dark early and fall will end soon.

Which reminds me that there are those who can’t enjoy the moment, but must rush the seasons. Shame on

QVC, the home-shopping network, has already started a “Countdown to Christmas.” And my last reminder to everyone, after hoping you all have gotten your shots for flu and shingles, is to check on your senior neighbors during any bad weather or emergency period.

Next week, I shall try to control my meandering mind and stick to one subject.

Meanwhile, dear reader, thanks for your patience.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Connecticut Women s Hall of Fame celebrates voice and vision

Every day, women break through old barriers and are achieving in new areas once thought of as the exclusive province of men. These breakthroughs encourage young women and girls to fulfill any dream they may have; it sends a message that they can accomplish anything.

One of the most important voices conveying that message is the Connecticut Women’s Hall of Fame, which each year inducts outstanding achievers, past and present, and then shares their stories with diverse audiences across the state and beyond.

By bringing their programs to schools, universities, corporations, libraries and women’s organizations, its programs fill a void that traditional curricula often fail to address, showing young women the breadth of possibilities open to them.

Now, in its 19th year, the Connecticut Women’s Hall of Fame’s past members include Ella T. Grasso, Lillian Vernon, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Sophie Tucker, Helen Keller and Katharine Hepburn.

This year’s event with more than 750 sponsors was held in the enormous Connecticut Convention Center in Hartford. Three remarkable women inducted this year: Anne Garrels, National Public Radio’s senior foreign correspondent; Annie Leibovitz, internationally famous photographer; and Faith Middleton of Branford, whose well-loved show on WNPR is in its 30th year.

Garrels, who had hoped to be there in person, was filmed in Russia because of some difficulty with being able to leave and then return in a timely fashion. This indomitable woman has been a foreign correspondent for 23 years and has covered conflicts around the world. She began her career at ABC where she became Moscow Bureau Chief. Later, she reported on events around the world, including China, Bosnia and the Middle East.

After the terrorist attacks of 9/11, she was one of the first reporters to reach Afghanistan where, because she was female, she was able to interview women as well as men. She said that she had found her voice listening to stories others had to tell.

I was particularly touched to learn that she is now in Russia writing a book and trying to heal from some of her wartime experiences, which have left her with post-traumatic symptoms. Her husband of many years, accepted her award for her and is an example of a remarkable man who was able to be a supportive partner in a marriage to a woman whose career often meant she was in danger and away from home for long periods of time. (I think there should be special awards for rare men like this).

The charming Middleton whose interviews have twice won her the nation’s highest honor in broadcast journalism, began her career in print journalism, working for newspapers and then becoming editor in chief of Connecticut Magazine. Always modest, she claims she just fell into broadcast journalism by a stroke of luck when Connecticut Public Radio called her with the idea for a show.

Now in her 30th year, “The Faith Middleton Show” airs six days a week in Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts and New York.

She made the most memorable comments of the evening and brought tears to my eyes when she praised the bravery of the Pakistani schoolgirl, Malala Yousafzai, as well as the father who stood by her.

Middleton said, “A father’s belief in his daughter is a powerful thing.” She also encouraged Malala to continue her fight ... that she was a link in the chain which connects us all.

The evening concluded with Annie Leibovitz, who was born in Waterbury and went on to become the photographer for famous writers, actors, political figures and a documentarian of the social landscape.

Much of her work has appeared in Vanity Fair and Vogue, and she has been designated a Living Legend by the Library of Congress. Voice and Vision Awards were given to 10 women who have used their voice and vision to express their passions and perspectives.

Special additional awards were the Ella T. Grasso Leadership in Action Grants, which went to Leah Livia Sarna, a Yale University philosophy major, and Christina Weaver, a University of St. Joseph nursing major.

I am indebted to and want to thank Laura Ward and Barbara Pearce who made arrangements so that I might personally experience this inspiring event. For more information about the CWHF and the learning tools they offer, visit www.cwhf.org.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Note to residents of Connecticut's continuing-care communities

Evergreen Woods, a Shoreline continuing-care retirement community, recently hosted a meeting of the National Continuing Care Residents Association, and since I help many residents who are considering a move to these types of communities, I was especially pleased to be invited.

I felt it was particularly important to learn about an organization which is composed of and represents the interests of those already living in continuing-care communities and, of course, reflects both their pleasures and problems with this particular lifestyle.

Basically, there are two types of retirement communities; those that offer independent and assisted living for a monthly rental fee, but do not offer nursing home care. The other model, known as continuing-care communities or CCRCs, offer lifetime care with a health-care or nursing-home component. For their often luxurious lifestyle, there is a substantial entrance fee as well as monthly charges.

These CCRs are generally either “for profit” (Evergreen Woods and Essex Meadows are this type) or the “nonprofits” (Whitney Center and Ashlar Village would fall in this category).

Katherine Pearson, professor of law at Penn State University and the educational director of its Elder Law and Consumer Protection Clinic, spoke at the gathering. She is an amazing woman and a much-needed voice on behalf of residents’ rights, which I learned, vary greatly from state to state.

Pearson had opened a Family Law Clinic at the law school in Pennsylvania 11 years ago, when a resident’s group from a local CCRC came to her because management was planning to double the size of the community in the same footprint, and the state regulator had told the group, they couldn’t do anything.

When Pearson was finally able to locate and look at the past annual reports of that community, she found they had indeed been filed, but the seals were not even broken; they had never been read by anyone in that office.

Pennsylvania has the third highest percentage of older adults, so it has attracted many different retirement communities. Since 2008, three CCRCs have filed for protection under the bankruptcy laws there. Of these, at least one was a “nonprofit” type.

Residents in one community lost the right to their refundable entrance fees. In others, there were larger increases in the monthly fees, after re-organization, as well as a cutting back of services.

Some states are recognizing the need for more proactive approaches to regulatory assessment. Oregon, for example, has amended its CCRC law to require greater disclosure of the identities of persons who have direct or indirect ownership or beneficial interests in CCRCs within the state and require resident representation on the governing boards of CCRCs.

Pearson believes that residents rights are one of the most effective ways to monitor communities, but she warns that with rights come responsibilities from the residents. They cannot control or be contentious, but should have a voice.

Connecticut currently does not have a resident’s bill of rights, but according to Ruth Walsh, the president of the Connecticut Continuing Care Resident’s Association, for the first time in many years, the group will be having regular meetings with the Department of Social Services (which absorbed the former separate Department of Aging).

It is hoped that they will facilitate changes so CCRCs here will be required to provide understandable financial information as well as mandating that Connecticut’s CCRC residents should have representation on the facilities governing boards.

If you are considering entering a continuing-care community, you should be aware of the laws governing them in the state where you live and have the facility’s disclosure statement examined by a well-versed, elder law attorney. Meanwhile, we are indebted to the hard-working group of senior residents, their sponsoring facilities and Pearson, all of whom are devoting time and effort to these important issues.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Note to residents of Connecticut's continuing-care communities