Pardon me while I dash off a note to Whirlpool

In the many books I have read about "making the sale" and "pleasing the customer," they have all stressed that it is the extras that make a difference. The follow up to make sure that everything was satisfactory, the extra-special service and the unexpected small, free extras. All these make a satisfied customer who will recommend your service or product to others.
Some neighborhood firms still do this. Joe's Paint Center and Floor Store in Branford, where I purchased carpeting and Hunter Douglas shades for my new home office, not only returned a second time without charge to switch the shades to a different window where the lever was easier to operate, they sent me a hand-written thank you for my business. They will have me as a repeat customer.

However, many large manufacturers seem to me to be neglecting the care and feeding of their future business. For my newly installed kitchen, I chose all Whirlpool appliances, reasoning that they had a good reputation and by choosing one manufacturer, it simplified the process, and I was assured the styling and stainless steel color would all match. The total expenditure for all the appliances was a substantial amount.

My refrigerator-freezer is spacious with a well-lit interior and deep-door shelves to hold large bottles. Once I learned how to use the ice maker so the ice went into the glass and not all over me or the floor, I was indeed pleased. However, where was the plastic egg crate and the butter dish of yesterday? No longer are these nice "extras" supplied.

My electric range came with all sorts of dire warnings about how to use safely as well as instructions on how to bake and broil, but no broiler pan. This is now an "optional extra," which I must purchase. How, pray tell, can you use a broiler without a broiler pan? How can this possibly be considered an "option"?

The microwave is large and has a tray that can revolve or not as you choose. However, the directions were so complex, I burned the corn on the cob.

At least all the appliances came with printed instructions. Too often nowadays, manufacturers only supply instructions on a computer disc; impossible to follow if your computer is in another room, away from your misbehaving appliance. And what of those unfortunates without a computer?

My kitchen installer, Kevin Sweeney, ( a model of helpfulness and efficiency) had informed me that one little screw was missing from the bottom pull-out drawer of the oven. Receipt in hand, I put in a call to Whirlpool. When calling any manufacturer's help line, it is best to have a short novel in hand while you are put on hold. They all seem to be experiencing "unusual heavy volume" forcing you to listen to loud, jazzy music or commercials for their other products.

Strange, but if you call to order something new, you rarely have to wait. When finally connected, I was told that my sales slip information was not sufficient; I would need the serial number imprinted on a small silver disc inside the pull-out drawer. Bending down and squinting with phone in hand, I realized that it would require a yoga master with 20/20 vision to read that serial number. Reluctantly, I shall have to wait until someone young and super flexible visits to replace the screw.

My Mom always told me that if you were going to complain, do it where it will do some good, so I intend to write a letter or forward this column to an executive at Whirlpool. I will let you know the results, if any, at some future date.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St. Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

I'm reading: Pardon me while I dash off a note to Whirlpool

Shell out for a quality bed or spend the evening counting sheep

When I moved, I realized I had quite a collection of twin beds; two from the guest room, leftovers from what had been rooms the children had occupied and the twin beds that had resided in the master bedroom. In my new apartment, my sole twin looked rather lost and forlorn all by itself, and so I embarked upon a search for a new bed; deciding on a queen-size as so many sheets and accessories now are available in only king and queen.
Upon visiting several "sleep centers," my first surprise was sticker shock. A top-quality mattress cost as much as my first car. Then there was an overwhelming selection of "memory foam," regular innerspring, innerspring and box frames, and innerspring plus foam, etc.

Even a consumer guide wasn't much help since they admitted mattress comparison shopping is almost impossible as the same manufacturer makes the same mattress under different names for different stores who then charged differing prices for the same product.

I finally resorted to the old standby: laying fully prone for 5-10 minutes on each mattress. While the foam ones seemed light and easy to handle, I could not become accustomed to the way the foam seemed to follow me around on the bed. With just a little encouragement from the saleswoman, who knew an uncertain prospect when she saw one, I settled on one of the most expensive, top-of-the-line mattresses that came with an electric device which can raise or lower the head or the foot of the bed. Wonderful for my bad ankle and for reading in bed, I reasoned.

Before the bed was delivered, I realized I also would need sheets, a comforter, queen-size pillow cases, a dust ruffle, a duvet, a mattress cover, etc. And since I am one of a dying breed who like extra-fine quality sheets which I iron (yes, I know it is insane) again, sticker shock.

Once the bed arrived, I also realized I had given no thought as to a headboard and since this bed goes up and down, only headboards that are attached to the wall can be used. To date, I am still headboard-less. So far, I am finding I really like the mattress and the extra room a queen affords me. I sleep like a baby once I am in bed. Aye, there's the rub ... somehow the bed is much higher than it seemed in the store, and I almost need to take a running jump to scale its height. A friend suggested I use a small step stool by the side of the bed which inspired me to do some research on the history of beds.

Bet you didn't know that the Egyptians had high bedsteads, which they ascended by steps and they also hung curtains all around their beds, which were highly decorated with gold and mother of pearl. Of course, way back in time, people used piles of straw or animal skins to sleep on.

A major change occurred when they raised these off the ground to avoid drafts, dirt and pests. The first beds were found in Scotland and were made of stone, topped with fillers and dated about 3200 B.C. The ancient Romans had many kinds of beds; a chamber bed for normal sleeping, a highly decorated marriage bed, a table bed on which they ate while lying on their left side, a study bed and finally, a funeral bed on which they were carried to their pyre. The 14th century brought about the feather bed and the 17th century was the century of magnificent beds with Louis XIV owning 413 (maybe one for each mistress?) And if you have stayed with me this far, you might wish to stun your friends with the fact that one of the biggest beds in the world is the Great Bed of Ware made in 1580, and it is 10.7 feet wide and 11.1 feet long and resides in the Victoria and Albert Museum in London.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St. Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

I'm reading: Shell out for a quality bed or spend the evening counting sheep

We're so busy, and our precious human connections wither

Growing up, my parents always stressed the importance of being self-reliant.
Additionally, as an only child, there was no other sibling to whom I could turn in times of stress or trouble or from whom I could seek advice. While I was in the habit of writing long letters to my parents during the time Val and I lived overseas, I never discussed any concerns or worries.

When I had my own children, without realizing it, I passed on the same message of "don't complain, solve your own problems". Perhaps this pattern wouldn't have become so entrenched if my children lived close by, but two of them live on the West Coast. Recently I saw my daughter, Marianne, for a few precious days and I became aware, again, how difficult it is to really, really know and understand what is happening in someone else's life if in addition to only seeing them occasionally, the rest of the time you are in touch, you don't feel free to discuss major concerns.

We had a lovely, busy time together, but I don't really know what the major concerns in her life are, n'or am I able to share the many worries getting older causes me. I did manage to express that I felt it was very important that we make the time to see one another more often and she agreed. It will take a lot of effort on both our parts as she travels extensively in her work, and I am also overly busy much of the time, but I have decided I must make it a priority in my life from now on.

In my work, counseling and helping seniors when they are making a move, a pivotal and stressful time in anyone's life, I have learned to do what I failed to do for my own family and that is to not be judgemental if they feel overwhelmed and to also help them find their own solutions, rather than rushing in with "instant" advice.

Sometimes, people are able to resolve problems for themselves; what they need is for someone else to be a caring, sympathetic, listener.

How often does a spouse come home to hear, "How was your day?" but then he or she realizes that their partner expects a one word answer and is not ready to really listen to the major problems or triumphs of the day just gone by. Too many families have televisions in every room, constantly competing for attention and taking away the opportunity for human conversation.

It is not unusual to attend a lecture or a movie and see many in the audience engaged with a device in their lap; half-listening to the speaker while they text a friend or receive messages. Seeing my daughter again after many months and relishing her every word and gesture, also made me realize how important it is to not take friends who are nearby, for granted, but to really listen and be engaged fully when I am with them.

"To listen fully is to pay close attention to what is being said beneath the words. You listen not only to the music, but to the essence of the person speaking. You listen not only for what someone knows, but for what he or she is. Develop deeper silences in yourself so you can hear beneath another's words to their meaning." - Peter Senge

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St. Apt. 510 Branford, 06405.

I'm reading: We're so busy, and our precious human connections wither

Volunteer work energizes Joyce Swolka, 72, of Middletown

Joyce Swokla, a 72-year-old Middletown resident who has logged more than 5,000 hours of dedicated volunteer and community service, recently won the special senior service award sponsored by Home Instead, a home-care agency. Joyce's name was entered by one of the nurses at Middlesex Hospital where Joyce has volunteered for many years in their Hospice unit. When I interviewed Joyce, she told me she was especially pleased that the award included a $500 donation to her favorite charity, and it came just in time for her to donate to Relay for Life, a cancer fundraiser in which Joyce has been an active participant for many years.
A cancer survivor of two bouts with the disease, herself, Joyce began her volunteer work in 1984 after caring for her ill mother for several years.

"We are all going to age and die one day, so we need to reach out and help one another," Joyce says, and she adds that when she comes home from her volunteer work she feels energized and happy because she knows she has been useful and helped another human being. Joyce is also proof that volunteerism knows no age limits; she is dedicated to her work and as active as ever.

With both mothers and fathers of younger families in the workforce, it is more important than ever that our senior citizens step up and fill the many important jobs that depend on volunteer help.

In our area alone, there are opportunities at Habitat for Humanity, New Haven Reads, Children's Community Programs of Connecticut and many more. You could be a foster parent to a cat or dog, helping them to learn family skills before they are adopted, or you could help the animal shelter by taking videos of animals waiting to be adopted which will appear on YouTube. The Family and Children's Agency in New Haven needs guest speakers who can speak on special topics such as time management or nutrition or give a few classes on yoga, photography or art. The Elder Wisdom Circle offers advice to youngsters while Cross Cultural Solutions will send you overseas to work side by side with people in Latin America or Africa.

You can host a student from another country, for a day or an entire year, you could teach someone to read; the possibilities are endless and exciting. Some computer sites to help you search are Create the Good (AARP's web site for opportunities), Volunteer on Demand, their site offers 15-minute and on-your-vacation opportunities, and VolunteerMatch.org offers free webinars to walk you through the training and screening process. Quite often, volunteering can lead to part- or full-time work, if that is something you might wish to do.

If you are still hesitating about volunteering, here are some quotations that make the case far better than I ever could:

"Service to others is the rent you pay for your room here on Earth." - Muhammad Ali

"I always wondered why somebody didn't do something about that. Then I realized, I was somebody." - Lily Tomlin

"A pessimist, they say, sees a glass as half-empty, an optimist sees the same glass as half-full. But a giving person sees a glass of water and starts looking for someone who might be thirsty".- T. Gale

 Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St. Apt. 510 Branford, 06405.

I'm reading: Volunteer work energizes Joyce Swolka, 72, of Middletown