Finding an OASIS to relieve all of life's stresses

Holidays are both a highly anticipated time of the year and one that too often is the cause of worry and stress. Aware that this was my first “solo” Christmas since losing Val, I jumped at Millie Grenough’s invitation to join a session of her OASIS in the Overwhelm classes.

Some years ago, while recovering from a near-death accident, this clinical social worker and former nun developed specific strategies for herself to live a saner, more balanced life.

Many of us have two default modes: worry and nonstop activity. Millie advises that “you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf,” and you can easily learn and practice her coping strategies.

Our intimate class started out with closing our eyes and taking deep breaths, which we slowly released. It felt so good to be taking some time out to just think about “caring for me.”

We all wrote down what our chief worries were and then some specific goals for solving those worries. Millie explained that goals put in writing and then affirmed before others are much more likely to be achieved.

Next, we did a simple 4D-stretching exercise, an instant relaxer that also increases energy. We all noticed that while some of our classmates had been tense when they arrived, they were now relaxed and smiling.

We were instructed in the Emergency 3-B-C (3 Breath Countdown), a breathing exercise to use to take a “mini-vacation” from stress. It is useful, too, when you need to blow off steam without hurting anyone, including yourself.

That simple pause allows you to look clearly at what is happening and to make a choice in how you are going to respond. You can use this breathing technique when verbally attacked, when involved in a difficult work situation, or upon receiving devastating news of any kind.

The group discovered that we all have default modes: Anger, fear, sadness and impatience are just a few, but they all carry consequences for our health. You can make a conscious decision to “change the channel” if a problem arises for which there is no immediate solution.

Like it or not, stress is not only here to stay in our personal lives and in the world, but is also on the increase. It is important to know how to change our channel, because our response to stress is the No. 1 determiner of our personal health and happiness.

We were happy to hear that neuroscientists have discovered that new neurons continue to grow in our brains as long as we live; and most important, by what we choose to do or not to do, we influence which neurons grow and how much they grow.

New learning is indeed the secret fountain of youth. That is something smart seniors realize, and more of us are staying active physically and mentally. Our OASIS class taught us that we can spot body fatigue and relieve it, calm ourselves in chaotic situations and switch channels when caught in a frustrating situation.

All of the OASIS teachings are simple, but it will take practice for me to become accustomed to using them regularly. I know if I do so, it will make this holiday a more relaxed and pleasurable one.

-For information on OASIS classes or to purchase the book “OASIS in the Overwhelm,” go to www.milliegrenough.com.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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