First things first, resolutions have to be reasonable to succeed

Ah! The new year brings us fresh promises.

Scanning the magazine covers at the supermarket, one would conclude that the most important goal of all Americans is losing weight: “Drop a Jean Size,” “Slim, Sexy You,” “Get a Firm, Sexier Butt,” “The 8-Hour Diet” and “32 Foods that Fight Fat” were just a few featured articles.

Did you know that more people take out a gym membership in January than any other month?

Since it is human nature to want to set goals at this time of year, I’ve been doing some research on how to set goals that we have a good chance to accomplish.

First, I learned that you need to be sure your goals don’t conflict with one another. For example, if you have determined that you would feel better and be more efficient if you could get more sleep at night (incidentally, studies have shown that there is a link between obesity and sleep deprivation), and at the same time one of your goals is to join more activities or take a part-time job, those goals will have trouble coexisting.

I know that if I want to drop the 20 pounds that my cardiologist recommends, it will be at odds with my goal to remain cheerful, calm and noncritical. Any diet leaves me feeling deprived, disgruntled and downright peeved at the world. My only recourse would be to go into hibernation for six to eight weeks until I lose the pounds.

In case you are still determined to make resolutions for this bright new year, here are tips for accomplishing your goals.

-Make yourself a priority. Learn to say “no” to others when you feel overwhelmed and to say “yes” to your own needs and wants.

-Be grateful for what you have. Spend a few minutes each day making a gratitude check, thinking of all you have and the love, warmth, comfort and care you receive daily.

-Remember to pay it forward. Give of yourself every day; even if it is only to smile or say hello to a stranger.

-Live in the present. Let the past be in the past. There is no point in worrying about something that may never happen. Take steps to solve problems within your control; put others out of your mind.

-Let go of expectations of what “could be” or “should be.” Enjoy the life of now.

The main reason people fail at keeping New Year’s resolutions, or any promise to themselves, is they set the bar too high. In order to turn a goal into a habit, it needs to be very “doable.” The key to success is not how much you do every day, but whether you do it at all. You don’t need to tackle the whole staircase, just take the first step.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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