SENIOR MOMENTS: Things are looking up for those of us who happen to be aging

Geriatrics is the branch of medical science that deals with the diseases and complex needs specific to the elderly. Its goals are to promote health, prevent and treat diseases with an emphasis on helping to maintain functional independence.

Geriatric doctors work with many other specialists to provide comprehensive care for patients with multiple needs. A certain Dr. Christopher Jones defined it more succinctly as “pediatrics for wrinkly people.”

Despite the fact that the “wrinkly population” is growing by leaps and bounds, to date there are fewer than 10,000 licensed geriatric specialists throughout the United States. We are, therefore, indeed fortunate in Greater New Haven to have an outstanding geriatrics program at Yale-New Haven Hospital, which not only offers some renowned geriatric specialists, but the hospital is also the source of groundbreaking research programs.

Yale researchers have already achieved national recognition with their studies on preventing falls, reducing delirium, decreasing functional decline and enhancing driving performance in seniors.

Yale-New Haven physicians also act as teachers and mentors to health-care professionals and as advocates for health-care policies that will encourage elders’ independence.

I spoke at length recently with the charming and deceptively boyish-looking Dr. Thomas Gill, who is one of the country’s leading experts on functional decline and disability in older adults.

Gill recently established the Yale Center on Disability and Disabling Disorders. In addition, he directs the Claude D. Pepper Older Americans Independence Center at the Yale School of Medicine. Many readers may remember the fiery Pepper, long-serving Democratic senator from Florida, who became the nation’s foremost spokesman for the elderly.

Gill is acting as the principle investigator at Yale for two exciting nationwide studies that are evaluating how to help older persons maintain their independence and increase their well being. The trial study is recruiting men 65 or older and will determine if replacing testosterone in older men with low levels can reverse some of the unwanted symptoms of aging. The second study, called LIFE, is seeking men and women ages 70-89, and will compare two different lifestyle approaches to maintaining independence: physical activity vs. health promotion and education.

Volunteers should be those individuals who don’t currently exercise and may be having some difficulty with everyday activities such as getting in and out of a car, climbing steps or some walking outside the home.

They must be willing to meet up to twice a week for the duration of the study, (about three years) although a one-month break for travel or family obligations is allowed each year. All volunteers will have a unique opportunity to grow physically and mentally and to form interesting friendships. And isn’t it rewarding to know that as a volunteer, you will not only be helping yourself, but potentially, future generations of seniors, as well.

I had a delightful chat with one enthusiastic participant, Curtis Patton, a fascinating 75-years-young former professor with a full and active retirement life, who said he is greatly enjoying the continuing connection with others in the group that he has gotten to know.

Two other excellent resources at Yale–New Haven Hospital that readers should know about are:

-The Acute Care for the Elderly Unit — a model of interdisciplinary care for older patients featuring a team of physicians, nurses, physical and occupational therapists, a care coordinator, dietitian and social worker who meet and review the goals of care for each patient.

-The Dorothy Adler Geriatric Assessment Center — an outpatient center that uses a team approach to work with patients and their families to develop plans of care to keep patients independent and conducts tests for cognitive decline.

To inquire about volunteer opportunities for the LIFE Study program for men and women, call 203-785-7597, or go to geriatrics.yale.edu/research/life.aspx. For the male-only testosterone study, call 203-737-5672, or go to www.ttrial.org.

Seems as if this might be the best possible of times to be growing older.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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JEAN CHERNI: All the good ones are not taken, so get busy

Valentine’s Day is, traditionally, a time for lovers, but today in America, the most common household category is of a person living alone. There are 21 million single men and women in the over-50 age bracket, with four times as many women as men who live by themselves.

We all want to feel special, to be needed and comforted, but the affection and loyalty of a golden retriever can only go so far. Two interesting books that look for answers to living solo in a world that marches by twos, are “Dating After Fifty” by Sharon Romm, and “Never Be Lonely Again” by Pat Love and Jon Carlson. Romm claims that several prevailing myths are what prevents people from finding the companionship they crave.

Myth No. 1: All the good ones are taken. Actually, there are still many potential partners if you don’t set your expectations unreasonably high and take time to allow relationships to develop at their own pace.

Myth No. 2: No one will love me the way I am. Self-acceptance is key to being attractive to others. Work on improving what you can; you need to feel good about yourself. If that means losing some weight, join a weight-loss group. If you are shy, take a Dale Carnegie course. Challenge yourself to be the best you can be.

Myth No. 3: The family will object. You have a right to your personal happiness, and if that entails relationships outside of traditional marriage or unusual living arrangements, it is your choice to make. Dating does not necessarily lead to marriage if you don’t want it. Just be honest about your own feelings.

Myth No. 4: Dating is dangerous. Not if you take sensible precautions. If you haven’t been introduced through mutual friends or a common social group, meet in a public place for coffee, only. Ask questions and do some checking before further meetings.

In “Never Be Lonely Again,” the authors, who are behavioral experts, met with the Dalai Lama to develop a new approach to combat loneliness. Theirs is a difficult approach, requiring a total, ongoing commitment, but would seem to promise true and lasting results. The authors point out that we should not confuse alone and lonely; many people who live by themselves are very happy and not lonely, while others who live with a partner or family member feel desperately lonely.

Technology gives people the illusion that they are in relationships. Presence, in every sense of the word, is the key to never being lonely again. The book goes on to explain the importance of cultivating positive emotions and exercises to help accomplish this, and also emphasizes the need to shift from self-pleasure to happiness by using our particular skills for the good of others.

The book poses five questions that will change your life:

1. Who Am I? Your core values reflect who you are. How do you want the people you love to remember you?

2. Am I connected? You need three to five people in your close circle of friends/family for a true sense of well-being.

3. Am I living in community? Invest in people outside your close circle for a sense of well-being and belonging.

4. Are my talents being utilized in meaningful work? Work doesn’t have to be a paid activity. When you use your talents to benefit others, you feel productive and useful.

5. Am I living out the purpose of my life? Am I doing what I was put here on Earth to do?

For some of us, Valentine’s Day is bittersweet — remembering those loved ones we have lost. We need to focus on other loves: grandchildren, family members and treasured friends. Remember, love comes in many forms.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Cue the snowy 'Dr. Zhivago' music

When some of my Connecticut friends would complain about winter weather, I would often chide them by saying winters here were a piece of cake, you haven’t experienced winter’s fury until you’ve lived in Chicago.

Well, this winter, I’ve had my comeuppance.

Here we are, just beginning February, and the winter already seems endless. Chicago, in some respects, however, still takes the “worst-ever” trophy. We were new to the area with relatively little money and two small energetic boys who were both still in diapers (cloth ones that froze on the clothesline).

You couldn’t keep two active little ones indoors, and my entire long winter seemed to consist of getting one in a clean diaper and zipped to his ears in a snowsuit, only to have to undress, change the diaper on his brother and again bundle him into his snowsuit before bracing for the bitter cold and unforgiving wind.

Our daughter, Marianne, was not born until well after our Chicago sojourn, but she did choose the equally cold climate of Iowa City for her college years. I recall our shopping together for one of those down-filled puffy coats that make you look like you are coming when you’re going.

Upon finally leaving Iowa, she informed me she had burned the coat and vowed never to live anywhere where she would have to wear something like that again. True, to her word, she spent a short time working in Washington and then started a business in San Francisco, where she has lived, sans heavy winter clothing, happily, ever since.

I suppose, if one is young and athletic, all this snow can present many opportunities for fun. As for me, arthritis is appearing in joints I didn’t know I had, my heating bill is going to be a whopper, and the calendar looks like a crossword puzzle with appointments canceled, rescheduled and canceled again.

Attempting to keep a business appointment in downtown New Haven on a sunny day, I nearly got permanently stuck on an uncleared side street, and finding nowhere to park, gave up and drove home. I’m also expected to sound genuinely thrilled for several friends who will be leaving on winter vacations in exotic, warm places. (They better not show their faces again until they’ve at least had the decency to lose their tans).

As my mother use to tell me, “There’s always somebody who is worse off.” Skye, Scotland, is reputed to be one of the coldest inhabited places, excluding Antarctica, which doesn’t count because outside of scientists, nobody lives there except penguins and seals.

Oymyakon in Eastern Siberia has winter nine months of the year with average temperatures of minus 49 degrees. Everything freezes, from electronics to gasoline.

In our own country, the prize goes to International Falls, Minn., with winter temperatures of minus 32 degrees. Why anyone would ever choose it as a vacation destination is beyond my understanding, but there are a growing group of “ice hotels,” the first of which opened in Sweden, where visitors can play Eskimo during their stay.

Igloo accommodations, which are rebuilt every year, feature an ice bar, a wedding chapel and even a heated glass igloo where you can stay awake and watch the Northern Lights.

Consoling myself with a mug of hot chocolate the other night, I came upon some other reflections on winter weather:

- “It snowed and snowed the whole world over ... snow swept the world from end to end.” — Boris Pasternak

- “Winter is the season in which people try to keep the house as warm as it was in the summer, when they complained about the heat.” — Unknown

- “Winter is on my head but eternal spring is in my heart.” — Victor Hugo

- Lastly, and good for all of us to keep in mind: “One kind word can warm these winter months.” — Japanese proverb

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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We could all use a little Chinese New Year about now

Chinese New Year is, I believe, in many ways the perfect holiday. It arrives at an optimal time — well after the Christmas rush, and usually occurs sometime between late January and mid-February, when we are all in dire need of a happy diversion.

Additional attributes are that since it is not an American holiday, nothing is closed when I have anticipated it will be open, and I am free to celebrate Chinese New Year or not, according to my own personal whim.

Since the lunar cycle is 295 days, in order to catch up with the solar calendar, the Chinese insert an extra month once every few years, (7 out of a 19-year cycle) which is why the New Year falls on a different date each year. It starts with the new moon the first day of the new year and ends with the full moon and the Lantern Festival 15 days later. This year, it begins on Thursday, and its sign is the rabbit.

The rabbit is considered a very lucky sign. Those born in 1915, 1927, 1939, 1951, 1963, 1987, 1999 and 2011 are under that sign. They are talented and articulate, affectionate, known for their diplomacy and orderliness. Detail-oriented and reserved, careful with money, they seek peace at all costs. Their desire to remain safe means they miss many opportunities.

However, the Chinese also divide “rabbit years” into water, wood, fire, earth and metal, and since this is the year of the metal rabbit, those born this year have more strength and resilience, although they still will not do well in a competitive environment.

Some famous people born under this sign are Cary Grant, Jane Seymour, Angelina Jolie, Harry Belafonte, Ingrid Bergman, Arthur Miller and Bob Hope. Our equivalent zodiac sign would be Pisces.

The Chinese New Year is celebrated not only in mainland China and Hong Kong, but also in Indonesia, Macu, Malaysia, the Philippines, Singapore, Taiwan and Vietnam. It is a time for families to share, and the highlight is a religious ceremony for household gods and family ancestors.

Food is varied and plentiful, with pig, duck and chicken often on the menu. Children will receive money in red paper envelopes, and people will try to reconcile old grudges. Firecrackers and noise are thought to scare away evil spirits; although in many countries, the firecrackers have now been banned.

Each of the 15 days which constitute the holiday has a special significance. No one would clean on the first day of the New Year, as it would be very bad luck to sweep your good fortune out the door. Day two is a special day for married daughters to visit their parents, and it is also a day to be extra kind to dogs, as it is believed the second day is the birthday of all dogs. The fifth day is the birthday of the Chinese god of wealth, and a special prayer is said for good luck and prosperity.

I especially like the 7th day, known as renri, as it is the day when everyone grows a year older (imagine, never having to remember anyone’s birthday anymore). Days 9 and 10 are celebrated as the Jade Emperor’s birthday, and on the 13th day, everyone eats vegetarian food to counteract their previous overindulgence.

The 15th and final day marks the Lantern Festival. However, in Malaysia and Singapore, it is somewhat like Valentine’s Day for those searching for a partner. Women will write their contact number on a mandarin orange and throw it into the river where single men will collect them.

You can join in celebrating Chinese New Year in Connecticut:

‰The Bushnell, 166 Capitol Ave., Hartford, on Feb. 9 and 10 at 7:30 p.m. Shen Yun Performing Arts presents classical dance and music, distilled from 5 millennia of Chinese civilization. Call 860-987-5900 for information.

‰Jani’s Chinese Restaurant, 187 Cherry St., Milford, 203-874-1199. Fabulous entertainment and a special New Year’s menu at 6:15 p.m. on Feb. 13 and 20. Martial arts demonstrations, drummers and famous Chinese Lion dance troupe. Ask for Kevin and reserve early.

‰Farmington Public Library, 6 Monteith Drive, Farmington, 860-673-6791, 1 p.m. Feb. 19, a family event celebrating Chinese New Year with food, music and fun. All are welcome.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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