Mother Jean dispenses sane fashion advice for fall 2012

expensive, and W magazine and the Style section of The New York Times too outrageous, Mother Jean gives her annual fashion advice for fall 2012.

-Shop your closet: The possibilities are strong that what you already have, accessorized with a fall color such as burnt almond, leaf green or coral, will look just as good as what the stores are showing. One of the newer cropped jackets can team up with many pairs of your existing slacks, or a new scarf can revive an old cashmere sweater.

While fashion pundits now advise us that the “no white after Labor Day” rule is a thing of the past, I do think that white jeans or a polyester blend paired with a autumn-colored sweater or blouse looks fine, but lightweight white cotton or florals should now be banished to the basement or attic till next year.

-Put away the shorts: When it is really hot, they are a practical choice, but let’s face it, many of us (other than the bobbies in Bermuda) don’t look that great in shorts. Also, put away the flip-flops and sandals. It is time for real shoes or at least, darker colored, strap walking shoes.

-Accessories make the outfit: Early in my career, I was responsible for accessorizing the clothes chosen for fashion publicity photos. I learned that a well-chosen pin, scarf or blouse can add spice to a simple suit or dress. My own favorite accessory is a good-looking or unusual handbag, and I admit to owning quite a few.

For ladies “of a certain age” whose size, like mine, dictates that they can’t wear extreme fashion and whose budget and feet require they remain comfortably conservative, a unique, statement-making handbag can bring zing to an otherwise simple outfit.

T.J. Maxx always has a wonderful selection, and end-of-the-season sales at the Clinton Outlet can “bag” you a bargain.

-True elegance is wearing what becomes you: This season or any season, knowing what looks good on you and wearing it with your own personal flair, is what fashion is all about. Boots and leggings may be “in” and look great on slender, twentysomethings, but they can look ridiculous on a mature woman. If purple is this season’s color, but it makes you look as though you just left Yale-New Haven Hospital, don’t wear it.

Sleeveless styles are out unless you have arms like Michele Obama, and I’ve yet to see a woman who can walk gracefully while wearing stiletto heels.

-Take a good look in the mirror: Before leaving the house. Often you may have added one accessory too many or you will see a view from the rear that surprises you.

Then, when all seems right, smile and give yourself a compliment. Feeling good about yourself is a great way to start any day.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Sadly, some of our well-off friends are not very well off

Last week, I visited a friend of many years who had recently moved into a beautiful and very posh continuing-care community near Princeton, N.J. Although we both started out as young mothers of modest means who lived across the hall from one another in Chicago, Dori has ended up in financial circumstances which far exceed mine.

We both lost our husbands recently, as well, but although I, too, must make a move (in my case to something much smaller and less expensive), my friend can’t comprehend how I greet each day with enthusiasm while she wishes she had not moved from her large, somewhat isolated home and has difficulty finding much joy in living despite helpful children nearby and an adorable new granddaughter.

She has trouble understanding how, with a greatly reduced income to manage on, I remain positive and fairly content. I told her that although I certainly am not looking forward to making a move from my delightful home at the Ponds, I have been fortunate to have enjoyed it with Val for more than 20 years. And as a reminder to myself to count my blessings, I have on the refrigerator, a clipping of a woman with a tear-stained face, looking at the devastated remains of what once was her home before the recent floods in New Orleans. Now, that’s trouble!

I also have always had a somewhat casual attitude toward finances, disliking strict budgets and operating with an intuitive feeling of about how much to spend (probably the reason I haven’t accumulated a big bank balance). However, over time, I have learned where to spend my income to produce the greatest return. First, you must learn to recognize what things are really important to your happiness; not an easy task when we are constantly bombarded with others telling us what we are supposed to desire.

I have learned that in order to frequent some upscale restaurants I enjoy, I must shop like a demon at the supermarket, challenging myself to find the best for less. I really love the theater, but even going to previews and searching for half-price tickets on line, it is still a big-budget item, so I go to very few movies, renting the ones I truly want to see from the library or Netflex. Since there doesn’t seem to be much that I enjoy on television, I am making do with a perfectly adequate older set forgoing the large, flat, plasma screen all my neighbors own.

Travel, especially to exotic places is a passion for me, so I save for trips by driving a 10-year-old car that may not have all the bells and whistles, but which no longer requires collision insurance and still gets me safely where I am going. If a new car or television is what makes you happy, then you should spend your money differently than I do.

Of course, we all have basic needs that must be met. But beyond those, I think happiness lies in how we decide to spend the remainder. The more it can be on things or experiences we truly love and enjoy, the greater the satisfaction.

Pinch pennies on the “must haves,” but splurge if you can, on those things that add zest to your life. My New Jersey friend is surrounded by luxury, but is finding very little in life to be pleasurable. I hope that changes for her ... to live without savoring every moment is such a terrible waste.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Johnson & Johnson leads way in removing harmful chemicals from daily products

Recently, I wrote a column in what I hope was a humorous tone, criticizing the trillion-dollar cosmetics industry. Since then, a news item came to my attention in regard to the use of some ingredients in beauty and household products that could potentially be dangerous.

This column, therefore, is completely of a serious nature. The news item was an announcement by Johnson & Johnson, makers of a wide range of personal and baby products, to remove many potentially harmful chemicals, like formaldehyde, from its line of consumer products by the end of 2015, becoming the first major consumer products company to make such a widespread commitment.

This unusual step is a result of a very lively public discussion going on about the safety of ingredients in personal care products. On average, women use 12 products containing 168 ingredients every day, men use six products with 85 ingredients, and children are exposed to products with 61 ingredients, daily.

What??? You thought the government was checking on the safety of these products?
Unfortunately, cosmetics are unregulated and are often made from poorly tested chemicals. The Food and Drug Administration can’t require safety tests or even recall harmful products, and manufacturers are not required to report cosmetics-related injuries to the agency.

In my opinion, this needs to change!

According to the Environmental Working Group website, more than 500 products sold in the United States contain ingredients banned in cosmetics in Japan, Canada or Europe.

I was also disturbed to learn that “dermatologist tested,” “gentle and natural” and even “organic” can just be advertising hype. “Fragrance” is a term that cosmetics, cleaning and candle industries use on an ingredients list that discloses only that there are unnamed chemicals in the product.

We are not just talking about cosmetics, but about shampoo, toothpaste, soap, deodorant, hair conditioner, sunscreen, body lotion and shaving products and room sprays.

Lisa Archer, director of the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, said her group would continue to press other cosmetics and consumer-goods companies to follow Johnson & Johnson’s lead, including Estee Lauder Companies, Proctor & Gamble, Avon and L’Oreal.  

Estee Lauder stated that it adheres to stringent safety standards for all of its products, and P&G said the company communicates openly with consumers about the ingredients it uses.

Meanwhile, Johnson & Johnson’s admirable decision requires the company to walk a tightrope, showing itself willing to make extensive changes while still reassuring consumers that its existing products are safe. The company calls its new policy, “moving beyond safety.”

Meanwhile, for an exhaustive list of products and their content, you can go to ewg.org/skindeep, or keep the following information from their “Quick Tips for Safer Cosmetics”.

-Your Teeth: No triclosan in toothpaste.

-Your Lips: No retinyl palmitate.

-Your Hair: No fragrance, PEG, ceteareth and polyethylene. No parabens: propyl isopropyl, butyl, isobutyl. No DMDM hydantoin.

-Your Nails: No formaldehyde or formalin in polish or other nail products. No toluene, dibutyl phthalate, a.k.a. DBP.

“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.” — Yves Saint Laurent

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Big Brother waits for us over in Aisle 5 with the cookies

My mother, ordinarily a fairly patient woman, would lose her temper when I was supposed to be helping her, but instead, out of a lack of interest or just plain perverseness, I would get in the way, and, rather than lightening her load, make additional work.

“I don’t need that kind of help,” she would finally snap. “Just leave me alone.”

I had the same reaction upon learning about a new “personalized pricing” program initiated by Safeway supermarkets, North America’s second largest supermarket chain.

Apparently, Safeway has “loyalty shopping cards.” I am aware that local supermarkets are tracking what customers buy through their “silver membership” and other programs, but Safeway has gone a dangerous step too far.
Shoppers with its program use a special automated device as they shop. Depending upon the frequency of purchase, certain products will automatically register at a lower price for one shopper than for another who is not a frequent buyer of the product.

Additionally, in order to join the program, you must agree to 23 regulations — presented in fine print — regarding their coupons and agree that any feedback you give is not confidential.

This is consumer manipulation that is invasive and dangerous. If a company wishes to know my buying preferences, ask if I want to participate in a survey, and I can take part or take a pass.

Far too many cellphone and computer applications are being introduced by stores, banks, travel companies, airlines, etc., under the guise of making life easier, but they are actually tracking our emotional “hot buttons” and subconscious reasons for buying, even our inner-most desires and thoughts.

George Orwell’s “Big Brother” is too close for comfort. One large marketing company promises to “help strengthen your customer relationships by gaining personal insights into what makes them tick, what their interests are, what motivates them to buy, what they care about.” Another company will “monitor customer behavior and predict future customer actions and changes in behavior.”

Procter & Gamble, a giant company with sales in excess of $76 billion, makes Pampers, Tide, Crest, Olay and other products. It hired a consultant to design a digital marketing campaign. That company’s network centers are in Mumbai, Shanghai and Buenos Aires. They are monitoring Americans’ buying habits, but not always adding to the paycheck of Americans.  

Your online purchases or webpage visits are recorded as “cookies.” The Federal Trade Commission has issued voluntary guidelines for marketers, but unless the rules are made mandatory, stores know that they get a higher response rate when computer sites are targeted to a consumer’s past buying preferences.

We are told that banking, buying and even dating online make life easier. Maybe, but we are paying a hidden price: the invasion of our privacy.

To quote my mother, “I don’t need that kind of help. Kindly leave me alone.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Big Brother waits for us over in Aisle 5 with the cookies