Every candidate knows that the average adult attention span is 22 seconds

As a former political science major, I am a great believer in, and compulsive watcher of, political discussions and debates. But after some 22 Republican candidate debates, even I have grown weary. Forget the costs, which must be more than the yearly budget of many small Latin American countries; despite an almost quiz show-like suspense with rotating “winners” of each debate, as yet, I haven’t heard any realistic solutions to our country’s serious problems.

Some of the debates have called to mind that very old television program where a panel of experts tried to determine the “real Mr. So-and-so” from a group of other contestants with false identities. The Republicans, in a similar manner, have been searching for the “real conservative” candidate.

The ensuing back-and-forth between candidates with the “he said” and the, “what I really meant was” has served as a reminder to me of the importance of two skills which I fear are both declining: clarity of speech which involves choosing the right word to express your thoughts and the art of truly listening.

Words are powerful tools, and unfortunately texting and the use of computers, iPads and other devices does not encourage us to take the time to search for the word that best expresses precisely what we wish to convey. Sometimes, complex problems can’t be expressed briefly; but most of the time, we don’t really require a great many words to express our meaning; but we do need the best, specific choice of words to avoid being misunderstood.


Mark Twain, who could give a master class in brevity, said, “The difference between the right word and the almost-right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug.” One of the smallest but most powerful words in any language is the word, “if.”

Listening ... really openly listening means not only being free of other distractions, but also trying to momentarily suspend our own preconceived ideas and prejudices and view a new idea or thought from the speaker’s perspective.

I find this the hardest of the two skills to cultivate. As a writer, I am always conscious of trying to choose the most precise word to express my feelings. I often fail, however, to be a good listener. I have strong opinions on subjects that I feel passionate about and too often fail to really try to see things from a different perspective. We all make the mistake of confusing information with knowledge, but knowledge is the interpretation of information. That can only occur when we really listen.

The most common complaint between married couples is often, “You’re not listening to me!” When someone is upset, we are in such a hurry to reassure them that everything will be all right, we don’t fully listen. The makers of commercials know that the average attention span for an adult is 22 seconds, which is why they try to get their message across in that amount of time.

Snap judgments save time, but they are often incorrect. Many people, instead of listening to what is being said to them, are already listening to what they are going to say themselves. The world would be a better place if we all could reflect carefully before speaking, expressing ourselves clearly and succinctly. But more importantly, we need to give the gift of truly listening to those around us.

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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