Finding an OASIS to relieve all of life's stresses

Holidays are both a highly anticipated time of the year and one that too often is the cause of worry and stress. Aware that this was my first “solo” Christmas since losing Val, I jumped at Millie Grenough’s invitation to join a session of her OASIS in the Overwhelm classes.

Some years ago, while recovering from a near-death accident, this clinical social worker and former nun developed specific strategies for herself to live a saner, more balanced life.

Many of us have two default modes: worry and nonstop activity. Millie advises that “you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf,” and you can easily learn and practice her coping strategies.

Our intimate class started out with closing our eyes and taking deep breaths, which we slowly released. It felt so good to be taking some time out to just think about “caring for me.”

We all wrote down what our chief worries were and then some specific goals for solving those worries. Millie explained that goals put in writing and then affirmed before others are much more likely to be achieved.

Next, we did a simple 4D-stretching exercise, an instant relaxer that also increases energy. We all noticed that while some of our classmates had been tense when they arrived, they were now relaxed and smiling.

We were instructed in the Emergency 3-B-C (3 Breath Countdown), a breathing exercise to use to take a “mini-vacation” from stress. It is useful, too, when you need to blow off steam without hurting anyone, including yourself.

That simple pause allows you to look clearly at what is happening and to make a choice in how you are going to respond. You can use this breathing technique when verbally attacked, when involved in a difficult work situation, or upon receiving devastating news of any kind.

The group discovered that we all have default modes: Anger, fear, sadness and impatience are just a few, but they all carry consequences for our health. You can make a conscious decision to “change the channel” if a problem arises for which there is no immediate solution.

Like it or not, stress is not only here to stay in our personal lives and in the world, but is also on the increase. It is important to know how to change our channel, because our response to stress is the No. 1 determiner of our personal health and happiness.

We were happy to hear that neuroscientists have discovered that new neurons continue to grow in our brains as long as we live; and most important, by what we choose to do or not to do, we influence which neurons grow and how much they grow.

New learning is indeed the secret fountain of youth. That is something smart seniors realize, and more of us are staying active physically and mentally. Our OASIS class taught us that we can spot body fatigue and relieve it, calm ourselves in chaotic situations and switch channels when caught in a frustrating situation.

All of the OASIS teachings are simple, but it will take practice for me to become accustomed to using them regularly. I know if I do so, it will make this holiday a more relaxed and pleasurable one.

-For information on OASIS classes or to purchase the book “OASIS in the Overwhelm,” go to www.milliegrenough.com.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Finding an OASIS to relieve all of life's stresses

A bit of moderation at parties now means fewer added pounds come January

As a “full-figured” woman myself, I feel like a real Scrooge bringing the subject of overeating to your attention. But after talking to expert Lindsay Madson on the subject, I realized that with a good plan, we could enjoy food at the holidays and not have weight-gain remorse come January.

Madson is a registered dietitian and certified gerontology specialist at Yale-New Haven Hospital. She feels we can enjoy special foods and the traditions associated with those foods at the holidays if we follow a few, simple rules:

-Know what you like and eat those special foods, but skip the stuff you can have anytime.

-Don’t go to parties and other gatherings overly hungry. Have a snack before leaving home, and fill up on veggies and seafood at events.

-Choose options wisely, especially beverages that pack a lot of calories. Pick decaf coffee or hot chocolate over eggnog, which is high in fat and sugar. If you drink alcohol, choose light beer or wine over mixed drinks, which are loaded with sugar and calories.

-Pick baked appetizers rather than fried foods and white meat over dark.

When thinking about healthful eating year-round, Madson advises that “variety is the spice of life.” Eating a variety of healthful foods helps to avoid vitamin and mineral deficiencies that occur if you eat the same foods day after day (a particular danger for seniors living by themselves.)

Aim for two servings of fruit every day, and remember to include berries, melons, mangoes or papayas; three servings of vegetables per day, raw or cooked. Green veggies are great, but don’t forget the red, orange and yellow varieties that pack an anti-oxidant punch.

Fresh or frozen vgetables have more nutrients and less salt than canned.

Remember to have three servings of dairy or other high-calcium foods. (Broccoli, tofu and almonds also help to maintain bone density and prevent fractures.) Check with your doctor to see if taking a supplement to maintain bone density is also a good idea.

Because aging bodies don’t use protein as efficiently, we need to make sure we get protein from dairy, eggs, lean meats, nuts and beans. You can estimate how much protein you need each day by taking your body weight in and dividing by two. For example, a 140-pound woman would need 70 grams of protein per day.

Another important habit is to get rid of the salt shaker and look for “low-sodium” food labels, which means 140 mg of sodium per serving.

“Reduced sodium” is meaningless as manufacturers can use that label if there is a reduction from the original products.

Your salt shaker can be replaced with spices and herbs to enhance flavor. For example, a dash of cinnamon or nutmeg and some almond milk, can transform your regular oatmeal. Don’t skip meals, as it slows metabolism and usually leads to poorer food choices later in the day, when you are really famished.

Always have some healthful convenience choices available for when you are pressed for time or are tired. We need to remember to drink plenty of water; some even feature a low-calorie flavor of lemon or orange.

Since I love to eat, but hate to cook, my personal favorite coping tricks are “Mindful Eating,” which means honoring the food ... taste, sight, aroma, mindful portion sizes, and lastly, chewing slowly. Be in the moment and thoroughly enjoy and savor the taste.

My second coping strategy is when meeting someone is planned, I always suggest breakfast, lunch or dinner. I’ll save in other ways.

-Hear Lindsay Madson speak and sample free healthful-choice foods from community chefs, Sunday from 2-4 p.m. at the Nathanael Greene Community Center, 32 Church St., Guilford. Consider the event your holiday gift from the Shoreline Eldercare Alliance.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: A bit of moderation at parties now means fewer added pounds come January

What we really need is a holiday to celebrate common sense and moderation

Black Friday, this year, was just the start of a time when some Americans seemingly lose their senses.

I am completely bewildered by the lemming-like behavior of the crowds who forgo one of our most special and meaningful holidays to stand in long lines for hours, then push and shove, to buy what are now considered the “necessities” of life: a huge flat-screen LED TV, an iPad, iPod, iBox, Nook or Kindle. I own none of these and somehow have never felt deprived.

Some newscasters, in attempting to explain the Republican loss in the recent election, blamed it on people wanting “things.” While they were referring to the social safety net “things” like Medicare, Social Security, health care and unemployment insurance, they overlooked Americans’ (including the high earners among us) insatiable need to constantly buy and own “things.”

The latest upscale “brag” purchase is an emergency generator of your very own. Why worry about the infrastructure or your neighbor’s problems as long as you can stay safe and warm?

It apparently is not enough that half the world is in turmoil. Tens of thousands of Texans, not content with being able to tote their guns over state lines, now have signed a petition and want to secede from the Union. To add to what would be total confusion if indeed that were to happen, a man in Austin has asked the federal government to allow Austin to withdraw from Texas and remain part of the United States.

I can’t wait to see the new Spielberg movie to learn more about how Lincoln handled it all. If Honest Abe were alive today, it would surely surprise him to learn that his Republican Party of unification has now arisen as the new voice of “separatism” in the South.

Fashion, has always been somewhat nonsensical in nature. Accordingly, a J.Crew executive, has decreed that, “In style, men are the new women.” Men are taking a renewed interest in clothes and cosmetics and buying form-fitting suits to show off their work-out perfect bodies. And I thought messy jeans and T-shirts were still in style!

Along with the loss of many other former “niceties” such as polite behavior, good manners and customer service, it is reported that cursive handwriting is disappearing from the schools, with only California and a few other states still requiring it. While children are increasingly agile at thumbing all kinds of keyboards, there is nothing that takes the place of a handwritten letter or thank-you note.

Guess that is soon to be only a fond memory.

Sometimes, it is hard to find the true meaning of the holidays, surrounded by news of Syrian refugees in the bitter cold; a cease-fire, but no permanent solution in Gaza; and worries over the “fiscal cliff” here at home.

When the world doesn’t seem to make sense, it takes an extra effort to focus on the important, small things: the thoughtfulness of friends and co-workers, the look on the faces of the children when the tree on the town green is lit, and the essential goodness of most people.

Among the many local events to help lift your spirits, the Shoreline Eldercare Alliance is hosting a free educational event, Healthy Choices for Holiday Eating, Dec. 9 from 2-4 p.m. at the Nathanael Greene Community Center, 32 Church St. Enjoy, music with the Guilford High School Symphony, free food samplings from community chefs and stroll the Guilford shops.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: What we really need is a holiday to celebrate common sense and moderation

Giving thanks on the other 364 days of the year will make us ALL happier

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.” — W.T. Purkiser
Many of us, as we sat down to Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, either silently or aloud, offered a little prayer of thanks for the meal and for being with family or friends. But, so often, the rest of the year, we neglect to be grateful for the daily pleasures that fill our lives.

I was reminded of this recently when someone asked me what were the small things that gave me pleasure every day, and I started to think about the beauty of the evening sky over the water as I drive home in the evening, the taste of good food, getting dressed in something pretty, the sound of my daughter’s voice over the phone, my cats cuddling on my bed at night ... these things and so many more fill me with happiness, and yet I take them for granted and neglect to remember to be grateful.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that I feel so fortunate and am especially grateful to be able to share my thoughts each week with so many interesting readers that, upon occasion, stop me in a restaurant or the supermarket or email me to offer their opinions and friendship.

If we are constantly anxious or worried, it is hard to be grateful so it is important to try to live in the moment, to fully savor and enjoy the here and now. What used to be is past, and what will be is beyond our control. Breathe deeply of the present moment before it, too, slips away. Cultivate friendships with positive people that make you feel good and cherish those who are lighthearted and make you laugh.

It is also important, I believe, to listen to that small, inner voice that guides you to what creates self-fulfillment for you. We are all unique individuals with special needs and yearnings, and unless these are being satisfied, we can’t be truly happy.

Some individuals find that keeping a gratitude journal reminds them of the many wonderful pleasures in their life. Just taking a few minutes at the end of each day to reflect upon the day’s happenings is, I think, a worthwhile practice. In today’s fast-paced world where we are surrounded by constant distractions and feel guilty unless we are “using” every minute, relaxation and reflection are too often, lost arts. With the holiday season approaching, it is also a good time to remember that the meaning of a gift is not in its expense; it is a way of showing gratitude to those we love.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Giving thanks on the other 364 days of the year will make us ALL happier