Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are often a time when adult children and other relations who have not been around aging parents the rest of the year, are all under the same roof for several days or perhaps, even an entire week.
Sometimes, living in close quarters again, families become aware of certain changes that have occurred in the senior’s behavior. As a retirement and home-transition adviser, I often receive concerned calls from family members just after a holiday.
They want to know how to best help their aging relative or if a move to a retirement community would be a possible solution. Here’s a checklist for family members to help in making some basic decisions:
‰First, realize we all change as we age, but the senior individual has a right to make his or her own choices, even when we disagree. You need to find solutions jointly for any problems and discuss them in a caring and concerned way. Your first goal should be to help the older relative find easier methods for doing what they have always done. For example, are they safe managing stairs or would a chairlift be helpful? Perhaps a room on the main floor could be used as a bedroom.
‰Narrow, flimsy cellar steps are dangerous. If the laundry is still in the basement, it could be done at a Laundromat or make sure the steps have rubber treads and put a handrail on both sides, if at all possible. Perhaps the laundry facilities should be moved to the main living level.
‰If the individual lives alone, no matter what their age, they should be wearing a call alert system at all times.
‰Is there a bath on the main floor and are there grab bars by the tub and toilet? Would a comfort height toilet or a walk-in shower make life easier?
‰If they are still driving, are they having any fender benders or are there dents in the garage wall? Do they pass stop signs or have trouble at intersections? For help in discussing driving issues and information about AARP driver safety programs, call 1-888-227-7669 or go to aarp.org/drive. And it is a good idea to research alternative transportation choices before bringing up the subject of driving less or giving up the car.
‰Are they taking all medications in a timely manner? Would a pill organizer help? (Some organizers even have timers as a reminder.) Are there some meds that might be affecting their driving abilities?
‰Medicare open enrollment season ends Dec. 31. Do they need to update their coverage? For help, go to www.aarp.org/medicare.
‰Is their financial and health information in one place and does someone in the family know where to find it in case of an emergency? Do they have any unpaid bills or are they having concerns meeting their bills?
‰Perhaps they are not aware of some of the new helpful products on the market that are senior friendly. There are phones that have family photos next to speed buttons or phones with voice-activated features, portable readers that not only allow instant access to virtually every book, but also allow you to set the print size. There are also alert systems that trigger flashing lights so the hard of hearing are aware when someone is at the door and even home monitoring systems which would allow you to check on a loved one.
‰Sometimes, even with all the available possibilities, the family home is no longer the best choice and a move will not mean loss of independence for the senior, but actually increase their independence and lengthen their life span. Independent and assisted-living communities provide transportation, recreation, exercise, nutritious food, a safe environment and most important, the opportunity for daily stimulation and socialization.
If you would like a helpful list of what to look for when considering these types of communities, write or e-mail me. Planning in advance is a good way to start the new year.
Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.
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