Contemplating the next bathing suit sends chills down the spine

The July 4th holiday brings picnics, parades and fireworks, but alas, it is also the official start of the bathing suit sales. Since I take an exercise swim class year-round, this is the time I must survey my bathing suit wardrobe and replace any suits that are deteriorating due to the effects of chlorine or shredding in strategic places.

This is annually the most embarrassing and thoroughly depressing procedure (second only to a colonoscopy) that I must endure.

I start by paging through the bathing suit catalogs to find out if my figure is an apple, triangle, pear or diamond. Unfortunately, it is all of these shapes with some unidentified additional problem areas.

My husband has worn the same pair of maroon trunks with drawstring waist for 10 years and his only worry are his knobby knees.

I have been trying to take solace in Carol Tuttle’s “Dressing Your Truth … Discover Your Personal Beauty Profile,” in which she states that every woman is innately beautiful. By learning your personal “Beauty Profile,” you can start dressing your truth.

Tuttle is an alternative psycho-therapist who helps to empower women to make fashion and beauty choices in harmony with their personal Beauty Profile, expressing the true nature of who they are. While her book is interesting and helpful, she is a psycho-coward because nowhere does she mention the bathing suit ordeal.

I defy any woman older than 25 with a less-than-perfect figure and traces of cellulite, to stand in front of a four-way mirror lighted by industrial strength, fluorescents, surrounded by pricey bathing suits the size of a newborn’s diaper, to feel supremely confident. In her book, Carol describes, in great detail, the four basic types of women:

1. Bright, Animated

2. Subtle and Soft

3. Rich, Dynamic

4. Bold and Striking

In reading all the descriptions, including the kind of childhood you had, although the author states that you really can be only one type, I felt I fell squarely between a bright and animated and a rich and dynamic. I have always favored colorful classics made distinctive by their good fabrics and tailoring details, but my age and additional weight have added considerations I did not have to think about in my 30s and 40s.

Perhaps my new, basic style would best be described as “Matronly Optimistic.” Men and their personality types are never mentioned; perhaps it is because all the retired men I know fit nicely into one classification:

1. Casual to Sloppy

Val has never had to concern himself about dressing to reflect his inner persona. Indeed, he doesn’t even worry as I do about what to wear for a special occasion, planned for, say, late September. My self-conversation in front of my closet dismisses the good white dress as too summery, the black sleeveless as ideal, but we could be seated under an air-conditioning vent and I’ll get chilblains, and the turquoise sheath with jacket is getting tight in the hips and anyway the matching shoes hurt my feet.

Val, an hour before the event, will pull out of the plastic garment bag his navy jacket and khaki trousers and never even get upset over the fact that all the other men at the event will be wearing the exact same thing.

Although I seldom buy clothes that I don’t like or rarely wear, for women who haven’t as yet, developed a personal style, Carol Tuttle’s book offers a lot more practical advice than the “What Not to Wear” television show or the several-hundred-dollar-a-day closet experts.

For more, go to Carol Tuttle’s http://dressingyourtruth.com/.

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