Resolve to live your dream and make the world a better place in ’13

A new year is a time of new beginnings, of fresh starts, of hopefulness.

With the tragedy of Newtown and the fiscal cliff so much on our minds, we need to find ways to remain optimistic and to make things better, both in our own lives, and where we can, in the lives of others.

Many individuals, touched by the deaths in Newtown, have given money to the affected families. Others have decided to do 26 good deeds for others, one for each person killed. My mother told me that although it was good to cultivate the traits of patience and tolerance, there was something called “divine discontent,” and one should and must become impatient and angry over certain injustices.

I admire and applaud people like Candy Lightner who started MADD after her daughter was killed by a drunken driver.

I hope many of us who feel strongly about limiting certain types of guns in this country will continue to fight until that is accomplished as well. Each and every one of us has something to give to the world. As a new year approaches, it is a good time to re-evaluate what you can contribute. But before you can help others, you need to feel good about yourself.

All experiences are translated into happiness or suffering within our minds. You cannot be happy and sad at the same time. I recently read an interesting study about the leading regrets of people who were dying.

Many said they wished that they had let themselves be happier. They didn’t realize that time is a precious resource and that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change or criticism of others prevented them from doing what they really wanted to do.

Many also said they realized too late in life that the best investment was in others, in friends and family, not things. When lives were almost over, many looked back and saw too many dreams had remained unfulfilled.

Now that we have lived through the dreaded-by-some end of the world date of Dec. 21, we can face 2013 with confidence and the determination to make this world a little better place because we are part of it.

We can do that best by living our dreams. You are never too old to start living that dream, unless you don’t start now.

Happy new you, everybody.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Resolve to live your dream and make the world a better place in ’13

For so many reasons, Christmas just doesn’t feel the same this year

Trying to keep a few traditions intact even though this Christmas I would have no family members joining me, I had gone to New York to see “the tree,” had lunch with a friend at the Metropolitan museum where we delighted in the Matisse exhibit, and enjoyed festive celebrations with co-workers and neighbors.

And then the horror that is Newtown, and this became a Christmas like no other. Could there be a more heart-wrenching time for tragedy than Christmas and Hanukkah, holidays especially meant for and enjoyed by children.

The random killing of small children here in our own state, in a typical, small, safe (we thought) town. Perhaps the Mayans had it right, but were off by a few days. Certainly the world that those of us born in the ’20s and ’30s knew has already ended.

Locks and lockdowns? Security systems? Armed guards in hallways? Safety drills on where to hide in a classroom? All unknown in my time, even at a New York City school where classroom doors were often kept ajar to catch the smallest cooling breeze.

Why has the world become so much more violent? As President Obama said in his touching speech, the reasons are very complex. Some blame lack of prayer in the schools, others our violent movies and games, still others our lack of enough help for our troubled youth.

We do know one thing for sure. We are the most “armed” society in the world, with more than 300 million guns in private hands and a gun homicide rate nearly 20 times higher than other civilized countries.

Australia changed its laws in 1996 after a gunman killed 35 people with semi-automatic weapons and now has banned assault weapons and shotguns and tightened licensing. Homicides in the years since have dropped 59 percent.

Britain bans almost all automatic weapons and requires voluminous paperwork to even own a shotgun or rifle for hunting. Japan also has very strict laws with similar low homicide rates.

Additionally, research has shown that gun ownership does not make people safer, but increases the likelihood of gun violence in the home. Surely, when the founding fathers wrote about our “right to bear arms,” they never envisioned the killing power of modern-day weaponry.

Our fascination with Prince William and mother-to-be, Kate and a popular British television series on PBS makes me wonder if we don’t still secretly yearn to be part of the Commonwealth, anyway. In the event a foreign power does decide to eliminate us, it will be by nuclear means, not semi-automatics. Despite all this, there are some voices in Congress saying we should wait to address the long overdue gun control issue.

If we do not try NOW to fix this problem, how will we answer to our children and how will we ever be able to look forward to and enjoy another Christmas?

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: For so many reasons, Christmas just doesn’t feel the same this year

Finding an OASIS to relieve all of life's stresses

Holidays are both a highly anticipated time of the year and one that too often is the cause of worry and stress. Aware that this was my first “solo” Christmas since losing Val, I jumped at Millie Grenough’s invitation to join a session of her OASIS in the Overwhelm classes.

Some years ago, while recovering from a near-death accident, this clinical social worker and former nun developed specific strategies for herself to live a saner, more balanced life.

Many of us have two default modes: worry and nonstop activity. Millie advises that “you can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf,” and you can easily learn and practice her coping strategies.

Our intimate class started out with closing our eyes and taking deep breaths, which we slowly released. It felt so good to be taking some time out to just think about “caring for me.”

We all wrote down what our chief worries were and then some specific goals for solving those worries. Millie explained that goals put in writing and then affirmed before others are much more likely to be achieved.

Next, we did a simple 4D-stretching exercise, an instant relaxer that also increases energy. We all noticed that while some of our classmates had been tense when they arrived, they were now relaxed and smiling.

We were instructed in the Emergency 3-B-C (3 Breath Countdown), a breathing exercise to use to take a “mini-vacation” from stress. It is useful, too, when you need to blow off steam without hurting anyone, including yourself.

That simple pause allows you to look clearly at what is happening and to make a choice in how you are going to respond. You can use this breathing technique when verbally attacked, when involved in a difficult work situation, or upon receiving devastating news of any kind.

The group discovered that we all have default modes: Anger, fear, sadness and impatience are just a few, but they all carry consequences for our health. You can make a conscious decision to “change the channel” if a problem arises for which there is no immediate solution.

Like it or not, stress is not only here to stay in our personal lives and in the world, but is also on the increase. It is important to know how to change our channel, because our response to stress is the No. 1 determiner of our personal health and happiness.

We were happy to hear that neuroscientists have discovered that new neurons continue to grow in our brains as long as we live; and most important, by what we choose to do or not to do, we influence which neurons grow and how much they grow.

New learning is indeed the secret fountain of youth. That is something smart seniors realize, and more of us are staying active physically and mentally. Our OASIS class taught us that we can spot body fatigue and relieve it, calm ourselves in chaotic situations and switch channels when caught in a frustrating situation.

All of the OASIS teachings are simple, but it will take practice for me to become accustomed to using them regularly. I know if I do so, it will make this holiday a more relaxed and pleasurable one.

-For information on OASIS classes or to purchase the book “OASIS in the Overwhelm,” go to www.milliegrenough.com.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Finding an OASIS to relieve all of life's stresses

A bit of moderation at parties now means fewer added pounds come January

As a “full-figured” woman myself, I feel like a real Scrooge bringing the subject of overeating to your attention. But after talking to expert Lindsay Madson on the subject, I realized that with a good plan, we could enjoy food at the holidays and not have weight-gain remorse come January.

Madson is a registered dietitian and certified gerontology specialist at Yale-New Haven Hospital. She feels we can enjoy special foods and the traditions associated with those foods at the holidays if we follow a few, simple rules:

-Know what you like and eat those special foods, but skip the stuff you can have anytime.

-Don’t go to parties and other gatherings overly hungry. Have a snack before leaving home, and fill up on veggies and seafood at events.

-Choose options wisely, especially beverages that pack a lot of calories. Pick decaf coffee or hot chocolate over eggnog, which is high in fat and sugar. If you drink alcohol, choose light beer or wine over mixed drinks, which are loaded with sugar and calories.

-Pick baked appetizers rather than fried foods and white meat over dark.

When thinking about healthful eating year-round, Madson advises that “variety is the spice of life.” Eating a variety of healthful foods helps to avoid vitamin and mineral deficiencies that occur if you eat the same foods day after day (a particular danger for seniors living by themselves.)

Aim for two servings of fruit every day, and remember to include berries, melons, mangoes or papayas; three servings of vegetables per day, raw or cooked. Green veggies are great, but don’t forget the red, orange and yellow varieties that pack an anti-oxidant punch.

Fresh or frozen vgetables have more nutrients and less salt than canned.

Remember to have three servings of dairy or other high-calcium foods. (Broccoli, tofu and almonds also help to maintain bone density and prevent fractures.) Check with your doctor to see if taking a supplement to maintain bone density is also a good idea.

Because aging bodies don’t use protein as efficiently, we need to make sure we get protein from dairy, eggs, lean meats, nuts and beans. You can estimate how much protein you need each day by taking your body weight in and dividing by two. For example, a 140-pound woman would need 70 grams of protein per day.

Another important habit is to get rid of the salt shaker and look for “low-sodium” food labels, which means 140 mg of sodium per serving.

“Reduced sodium” is meaningless as manufacturers can use that label if there is a reduction from the original products.

Your salt shaker can be replaced with spices and herbs to enhance flavor. For example, a dash of cinnamon or nutmeg and some almond milk, can transform your regular oatmeal. Don’t skip meals, as it slows metabolism and usually leads to poorer food choices later in the day, when you are really famished.

Always have some healthful convenience choices available for when you are pressed for time or are tired. We need to remember to drink plenty of water; some even feature a low-calorie flavor of lemon or orange.

Since I love to eat, but hate to cook, my personal favorite coping tricks are “Mindful Eating,” which means honoring the food ... taste, sight, aroma, mindful portion sizes, and lastly, chewing slowly. Be in the moment and thoroughly enjoy and savor the taste.

My second coping strategy is when meeting someone is planned, I always suggest breakfast, lunch or dinner. I’ll save in other ways.

-Hear Lindsay Madson speak and sample free healthful-choice foods from community chefs, Sunday from 2-4 p.m. at the Nathanael Greene Community Center, 32 Church St., Guilford. Consider the event your holiday gift from the Shoreline Eldercare Alliance.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: A bit of moderation at parties now means fewer added pounds come January

What we really need is a holiday to celebrate common sense and moderation

Black Friday, this year, was just the start of a time when some Americans seemingly lose their senses.

I am completely bewildered by the lemming-like behavior of the crowds who forgo one of our most special and meaningful holidays to stand in long lines for hours, then push and shove, to buy what are now considered the “necessities” of life: a huge flat-screen LED TV, an iPad, iPod, iBox, Nook or Kindle. I own none of these and somehow have never felt deprived.

Some newscasters, in attempting to explain the Republican loss in the recent election, blamed it on people wanting “things.” While they were referring to the social safety net “things” like Medicare, Social Security, health care and unemployment insurance, they overlooked Americans’ (including the high earners among us) insatiable need to constantly buy and own “things.”

The latest upscale “brag” purchase is an emergency generator of your very own. Why worry about the infrastructure or your neighbor’s problems as long as you can stay safe and warm?

It apparently is not enough that half the world is in turmoil. Tens of thousands of Texans, not content with being able to tote their guns over state lines, now have signed a petition and want to secede from the Union. To add to what would be total confusion if indeed that were to happen, a man in Austin has asked the federal government to allow Austin to withdraw from Texas and remain part of the United States.

I can’t wait to see the new Spielberg movie to learn more about how Lincoln handled it all. If Honest Abe were alive today, it would surely surprise him to learn that his Republican Party of unification has now arisen as the new voice of “separatism” in the South.

Fashion, has always been somewhat nonsensical in nature. Accordingly, a J.Crew executive, has decreed that, “In style, men are the new women.” Men are taking a renewed interest in clothes and cosmetics and buying form-fitting suits to show off their work-out perfect bodies. And I thought messy jeans and T-shirts were still in style!

Along with the loss of many other former “niceties” such as polite behavior, good manners and customer service, it is reported that cursive handwriting is disappearing from the schools, with only California and a few other states still requiring it. While children are increasingly agile at thumbing all kinds of keyboards, there is nothing that takes the place of a handwritten letter or thank-you note.

Guess that is soon to be only a fond memory.

Sometimes, it is hard to find the true meaning of the holidays, surrounded by news of Syrian refugees in the bitter cold; a cease-fire, but no permanent solution in Gaza; and worries over the “fiscal cliff” here at home.

When the world doesn’t seem to make sense, it takes an extra effort to focus on the important, small things: the thoughtfulness of friends and co-workers, the look on the faces of the children when the tree on the town green is lit, and the essential goodness of most people.

Among the many local events to help lift your spirits, the Shoreline Eldercare Alliance is hosting a free educational event, Healthy Choices for Holiday Eating, Dec. 9 from 2-4 p.m. at the Nathanael Greene Community Center, 32 Church St. Enjoy, music with the Guilford High School Symphony, free food samplings from community chefs and stroll the Guilford shops.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: What we really need is a holiday to celebrate common sense and moderation

Giving thanks on the other 364 days of the year will make us ALL happier

“Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.” — W.T. Purkiser
Many of us, as we sat down to Thanksgiving dinner on Thursday, either silently or aloud, offered a little prayer of thanks for the meal and for being with family or friends. But, so often, the rest of the year, we neglect to be grateful for the daily pleasures that fill our lives.

I was reminded of this recently when someone asked me what were the small things that gave me pleasure every day, and I started to think about the beauty of the evening sky over the water as I drive home in the evening, the taste of good food, getting dressed in something pretty, the sound of my daughter’s voice over the phone, my cats cuddling on my bed at night ... these things and so many more fill me with happiness, and yet I take them for granted and neglect to remember to be grateful.

I would be remiss if I did not mention that I feel so fortunate and am especially grateful to be able to share my thoughts each week with so many interesting readers that, upon occasion, stop me in a restaurant or the supermarket or email me to offer their opinions and friendship.

If we are constantly anxious or worried, it is hard to be grateful so it is important to try to live in the moment, to fully savor and enjoy the here and now. What used to be is past, and what will be is beyond our control. Breathe deeply of the present moment before it, too, slips away. Cultivate friendships with positive people that make you feel good and cherish those who are lighthearted and make you laugh.

It is also important, I believe, to listen to that small, inner voice that guides you to what creates self-fulfillment for you. We are all unique individuals with special needs and yearnings, and unless these are being satisfied, we can’t be truly happy.

Some individuals find that keeping a gratitude journal reminds them of the many wonderful pleasures in their life. Just taking a few minutes at the end of each day to reflect upon the day’s happenings is, I think, a worthwhile practice. In today’s fast-paced world where we are surrounded by constant distractions and feel guilty unless we are “using” every minute, relaxation and reflection are too often, lost arts. With the holiday season approaching, it is also a good time to remember that the meaning of a gift is not in its expense; it is a way of showing gratitude to those we love.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Giving thanks on the other 364 days of the year will make us ALL happier

As expected, some seniors fared better than others during Sandy

It’s all relative, isn’t it?

Ordinarily, having no power for almost five days and no way to cook anything would have me complaining bitterly. But after seeing the pictures of homeless people in Atlantic City, seniors stranded in darkened, high-rise Manhattan apartments, damaged waterfront homes here in Connecticut and Staten Island, and four-hour waits in lines for gas in New Jersey, my troubles seemed trivial, indeed.

However, since unusual weather events are now becoming more frequent occurrences, I was motivated to do a little research and find out how some of our senior facilities coped during Sandy, and what they are doing to be prepared for any future emergencies.

One of my first calls was to Sue Wharfe, executive director of Shoreline Village, a newly formed group that hopes to help residents who want to age in their own homes. Sue sent an email to all prospective 260 people and was so impressed that 12 people responded, offering assistance, while only three requested help, which she was able to provide.

While that is commendable, I wonder how many others needed help, but either had no email or because of a power loss, could not communicate. Plans for other methods of communication will need to be discussed for the future.

Orchard House, the adult day care center, had to close, but they did some advance preparation and had contacted their list of emergency responders for all their clients so that other arrangements could be made.

The VNA and other agencies mentioned the long hours many aides and nurses stayed on the job, and the extreme efforts made to ensure that people dependent on receiving medications or special treatments were cared for.

Among assisted-living communities, Phil Noto, executive director at the Hearth at Gardenside, said that while they lost power, their industrial-strength generator powered everything essential, including oxygen, sleep machines, emergency equipment and at least one light in each resident’s room. Dining was fully operational, and there was an outlet in the game room, permitting the viewing of games and movies.

A similar report came from Ron Bowen, executive director at Atria, Larson Place, who said new technology gives ample warning of most storms, and so everyone should have a disaster plan in place. They maintain a three-day extra supply of food and water for every resident and employee, year-round.

All communal communities should have a back-up generator that keeps the kitchen, elevators, lights and heat going. Ron also suggests that people at home should talk with neighbors or close friends to have a back-up plan to help one another, as should caregivers and their families.

Being proactive will help you cope effectively. I was surprised and distressed to learn that several senior communities had no generator to power an elevator, and when I went to help a friend who lives at Rose Hill apartments, a complex for those age 55 and over in Branford, the hallways were pitch black with no lights and there was no elevator service.

The Gables at Guilford, with luxury, costly, independent apartments, had no emergency generators to run the elevators. I checked with David Vail, a well-known consultant in the senior living field, who told me that unfortunately, there are no state or local regulations that require senior communities to have large, full-strength generators.

This is certainly something that needs to be changed. If you are looking at communities for a loved one or relative, check on their emergency equipment and plans.

Many churches opened their doors to help, and the Jewish Community Center in Woodbridge offered “power and a shower” for members and guests. The Guilford Senior Center did an outstanding job, remained open and offered free meals to those needing food.

Many in the Northeast are still in need, so as we make plans to enjoy Thanksgiving with friends and family, let us all give to a favorite charity to help those who have lost so much.

Help from FEMA for temporary housing, home repairs, low-cost loans, uninsured property losses, etc., may be applied for at www.DisasterAssistance.gov. or by calling 1-800-462-7585.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: As expected, some seniors fared better than others during Sandy

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Herb Jay of Gardenside in Branford

Who has not wondered if, given unlimited means, where they would choose to live?

Some might envision a beach home in Hawaii, complete with a glistening pool under the palm trees. Others would choose a ranch with a stable of fine horses. Still others, an exotic hideaway in a foreign country.

My special “dream home” would be a duplex apartment overlooking Central Park (and if the powers that be wanted to throw in an aging theater critic or restaurant reviewer as a sometime companion, so much the better).

I recently spent a most-engaging afternoon with Mr. Herb Jay, admittedly a multimillionaire who could have chosen any of the above, but instead is happily ensconced in a pleasant, but unremarkable apartment at The Hearth at Gardenside, a senior living community on Alps Road in Branford.

The life story of this twinkling, blue-eyed octogenarian is a legendary American rags-to-riches tale. Herb grew up in Ridgewood, Brooklyn, and like many others, was enabled to make the first step out of poverty by attending college on the GI Bill.

He became extremely successful in the advertising field and as an executive at NBC. He introduced “The Dean Martin Show” and hired Carol Burnett and Dick Van Dyke and produced NBC specials featuring luminaries such as Tony Bennett, Pat Boone, Liza Minnelli, Rosemary Clooney, Arthur Godfrey, Robert Goulet and Maurice Chevalier.

In fact, there are very few famous show-business personalities that Herb and his wife did not know and entertain. In 1971, along with many other successful executives, Herb and his wife moved to Weston, purchased a 3-acre spread complete with horse barn and guest cottage. He soon became a trustee of the Maritime Aquarium, did advertising for the Courage to Speak Foundation and was a director of the Norwalk Chamber of Commerce.

In addition, he was the director and chairman of the trust committees of several Norwalk banks, as well as opening and overseeing the Ethan Allen store in Norwalk.

This idyllic life was interrupted when after Thanksgiving last year, a routine CAT scan showed blood clots in Herb’s lung and he ended up in Norwalk Hospital.

Herb and Charlotte’s daughter, Amy, saw an advertisement for a furnished apartment “special” winter break at Gardenside and suggested it to her parents.

They never left when the winter break was over despite the fact that they still own a house in Westport and a condominium in Branford overlooking the water.

Herb is completely sold on the senior living community lifestyle and especially on his lifestyle at Gardenside.

He says the staff is excellent and he loves not having to worry about having to hire or manage help or be concerned about turnover.

Accustomed to eating in some of New York’s and Europe’s finest restaurants, he is very pleased with the quality and variety of food at Gardenside and is delighted with the friends he and his wife, a talented artist, have made. Although I work with many senior communities and help future residents with their various decisions regarding a move, not everyone makes the transition as seamlessly as these two have.

Having no financial worries, is of course, a great help, but more than that, Herb Jay is an outstanding example of a positive-thinking personality who obviously delights in life and savors and appreciates every day.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Pleased to meet you, Mr. Herb Jay of Gardenside in Branford

Normally, a whirlwind week provides plenty of column inspiration

Every once in awhile, despite having had a busy and productive week, nothing that I have done readily translates into an interesting column (which is always written and submitted a week in advance). Last week, for instance, a trip to the Litchfield area and the Hopkins Inn and winery at Lake Waramaug should have made a good read. But if you’ll recall, a week ago, Friday, it poured all day, and our Guilford library trip to see the fall colors, a historic house and garden and the winery was a bit of a “wash out.” By the time we arrived at the winery, we were more than ready to down seven varieties of wine in the sampler tasting part of the program.

This past week, I did get into New York City to see a preview of the soon-to-open play, “The Heiress,” which, if you recall, was a movie by the same name with Olivia de Havilland and Montgomery Clift. It is a wonderfully dramatic story of the heartache of a shy woman, jilted on the eve of her marriage.

The play, with Jessica Chastain, David Strathairn and Judith Ivey, is a brilliant example of great ensemble acting. Also enjoyed one of the exceptional Metropolitan Opera simulcasts at a local movie theater (in this case, “Otello”), but again, not sufficient material for an entire column.

With no specific subject in mind to write about, I find my mind has a rare opportunity to wander where it will and odd thoughts surface unexpectedly. For example, does it strike anyone else as not just inconsistent but downright absurd that in a time of worldwide crisis and budgetary woes and election mania in America, Saks Fifth Avenue has run a full-page advertisement announcing the opening of a 10,022-square-foot salon so big it even has its own zip code, devoted exclusively to shoes?

Whatever happened to the one or two pairs of shoes for everyday wear and one pair for dress, concept? Now, women have shoe wardrobes, with many pairs commanding stratospheric prices. When did American women get infected with Imelda Marcos Syndrome and require hundreds of pairs of shoes, most of which are not suitable for walking?

The other luxury item that seems to be in great demand are fancy wristwatches. The last time I looked, I only have two wrists, on one of which is a nice serviceable watch I bought 15 years ago. The younger generation tells time by looking at their iPhones, so who is buying all the many fancy, expensive watches I see advertised?

While thinking about time, my brain does a natural segue to remind readers that unfortunately, today, Nov. 4, daylight saving time ends, and you must set your clocks back one hour, a sad reminder that it will get dark early and fall will end soon.

Which reminds me that there are those who can’t enjoy the moment, but must rush the seasons. Shame on

QVC, the home-shopping network, has already started a “Countdown to Christmas.” And my last reminder to everyone, after hoping you all have gotten your shots for flu and shingles, is to check on your senior neighbors during any bad weather or emergency period.

Next week, I shall try to control my meandering mind and stick to one subject.

Meanwhile, dear reader, thanks for your patience.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Normally, a whirlwind week provides plenty of column inspiration

Connecticut Women s Hall of Fame celebrates voice and vision

Every day, women break through old barriers and are achieving in new areas once thought of as the exclusive province of men. These breakthroughs encourage young women and girls to fulfill any dream they may have; it sends a message that they can accomplish anything.

One of the most important voices conveying that message is the Connecticut Women’s Hall of Fame, which each year inducts outstanding achievers, past and present, and then shares their stories with diverse audiences across the state and beyond.

By bringing their programs to schools, universities, corporations, libraries and women’s organizations, its programs fill a void that traditional curricula often fail to address, showing young women the breadth of possibilities open to them.

Now, in its 19th year, the Connecticut Women’s Hall of Fame’s past members include Ella T. Grasso, Lillian Vernon, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Sophie Tucker, Helen Keller and Katharine Hepburn.

This year’s event with more than 750 sponsors was held in the enormous Connecticut Convention Center in Hartford. Three remarkable women inducted this year: Anne Garrels, National Public Radio’s senior foreign correspondent; Annie Leibovitz, internationally famous photographer; and Faith Middleton of Branford, whose well-loved show on WNPR is in its 30th year.

Garrels, who had hoped to be there in person, was filmed in Russia because of some difficulty with being able to leave and then return in a timely fashion. This indomitable woman has been a foreign correspondent for 23 years and has covered conflicts around the world. She began her career at ABC where she became Moscow Bureau Chief. Later, she reported on events around the world, including China, Bosnia and the Middle East.

After the terrorist attacks of 9/11, she was one of the first reporters to reach Afghanistan where, because she was female, she was able to interview women as well as men. She said that she had found her voice listening to stories others had to tell.

I was particularly touched to learn that she is now in Russia writing a book and trying to heal from some of her wartime experiences, which have left her with post-traumatic symptoms. Her husband of many years, accepted her award for her and is an example of a remarkable man who was able to be a supportive partner in a marriage to a woman whose career often meant she was in danger and away from home for long periods of time. (I think there should be special awards for rare men like this).

The charming Middleton whose interviews have twice won her the nation’s highest honor in broadcast journalism, began her career in print journalism, working for newspapers and then becoming editor in chief of Connecticut Magazine. Always modest, she claims she just fell into broadcast journalism by a stroke of luck when Connecticut Public Radio called her with the idea for a show.

Now in her 30th year, “The Faith Middleton Show” airs six days a week in Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts and New York.

She made the most memorable comments of the evening and brought tears to my eyes when she praised the bravery of the Pakistani schoolgirl, Malala Yousafzai, as well as the father who stood by her.

Middleton said, “A father’s belief in his daughter is a powerful thing.” She also encouraged Malala to continue her fight ... that she was a link in the chain which connects us all.

The evening concluded with Annie Leibovitz, who was born in Waterbury and went on to become the photographer for famous writers, actors, political figures and a documentarian of the social landscape.

Much of her work has appeared in Vanity Fair and Vogue, and she has been designated a Living Legend by the Library of Congress. Voice and Vision Awards were given to 10 women who have used their voice and vision to express their passions and perspectives.

Special additional awards were the Ella T. Grasso Leadership in Action Grants, which went to Leah Livia Sarna, a Yale University philosophy major, and Christina Weaver, a University of St. Joseph nursing major.

I am indebted to and want to thank Laura Ward and Barbara Pearce who made arrangements so that I might personally experience this inspiring event. For more information about the CWHF and the learning tools they offer, visit www.cwhf.org.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Connecticut Women s Hall of Fame celebrates voice and vision

Note to residents of Connecticut's continuing-care communities

Evergreen Woods, a Shoreline continuing-care retirement community, recently hosted a meeting of the National Continuing Care Residents Association, and since I help many residents who are considering a move to these types of communities, I was especially pleased to be invited.

I felt it was particularly important to learn about an organization which is composed of and represents the interests of those already living in continuing-care communities and, of course, reflects both their pleasures and problems with this particular lifestyle.

Basically, there are two types of retirement communities; those that offer independent and assisted living for a monthly rental fee, but do not offer nursing home care. The other model, known as continuing-care communities or CCRCs, offer lifetime care with a health-care or nursing-home component. For their often luxurious lifestyle, there is a substantial entrance fee as well as monthly charges.

These CCRs are generally either “for profit” (Evergreen Woods and Essex Meadows are this type) or the “nonprofits” (Whitney Center and Ashlar Village would fall in this category).

Katherine Pearson, professor of law at Penn State University and the educational director of its Elder Law and Consumer Protection Clinic, spoke at the gathering. She is an amazing woman and a much-needed voice on behalf of residents’ rights, which I learned, vary greatly from state to state.

Pearson had opened a Family Law Clinic at the law school in Pennsylvania 11 years ago, when a resident’s group from a local CCRC came to her because management was planning to double the size of the community in the same footprint, and the state regulator had told the group, they couldn’t do anything.

When Pearson was finally able to locate and look at the past annual reports of that community, she found they had indeed been filed, but the seals were not even broken; they had never been read by anyone in that office.

Pennsylvania has the third highest percentage of older adults, so it has attracted many different retirement communities. Since 2008, three CCRCs have filed for protection under the bankruptcy laws there. Of these, at least one was a “nonprofit” type.

Residents in one community lost the right to their refundable entrance fees. In others, there were larger increases in the monthly fees, after re-organization, as well as a cutting back of services.

Some states are recognizing the need for more proactive approaches to regulatory assessment. Oregon, for example, has amended its CCRC law to require greater disclosure of the identities of persons who have direct or indirect ownership or beneficial interests in CCRCs within the state and require resident representation on the governing boards of CCRCs.

Pearson believes that residents rights are one of the most effective ways to monitor communities, but she warns that with rights come responsibilities from the residents. They cannot control or be contentious, but should have a voice.

Connecticut currently does not have a resident’s bill of rights, but according to Ruth Walsh, the president of the Connecticut Continuing Care Resident’s Association, for the first time in many years, the group will be having regular meetings with the Department of Social Services (which absorbed the former separate Department of Aging).

It is hoped that they will facilitate changes so CCRCs here will be required to provide understandable financial information as well as mandating that Connecticut’s CCRC residents should have representation on the facilities governing boards.

If you are considering entering a continuing-care community, you should be aware of the laws governing them in the state where you live and have the facility’s disclosure statement examined by a well-versed, elder law attorney. Meanwhile, we are indebted to the hard-working group of senior residents, their sponsoring facilities and Pearson, all of whom are devoting time and effort to these important issues.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Note to residents of Connecticut's continuing-care communities

Wine tasting Thursday benefits Hamden Senior Wish Society

Not that long ago, in 2003 to be exact, a group of caring women founded a nonprofit, charitable organization because they wanted to grant the wishes of elderly residents who were on a limited income.

At the time, these women, Betty Wetmore, Rose Esposito, Robbie Juliano, Tammy Murphy, Eileen Denny, Laurie Kendall-Ellis and attorney Susan Nobleman, based their idea on Paul Newman’s Make A Wish Foundation, and they thought that seniors would request things like presents or trips for family members and grandchildren.

Instead, their hearts have been touched by how in need so many local seniors are and the wishes have been for medicine, dental care, tires or fuel for the car, eye glasses and home repairs. Some of the wishes have been provided by helpful sponsors such as the Eye Center, Prezioso Dental, Arden House, Elite Landscape and others.

In 2009, 43 individual wishes, (with a cost of no more than $300 each) for a total of $10,126.41, were granted with 100 percent of the donations going directly back into the community.

The Hamden Senior Wish Society is able to grant almost every wish it receives, and the process is a fairly simple one. To be eligible, you need to be a Hamden resident, 60 or older, with a maximum annual income of $20,000 for an individual or $25,000 for a couple.

Of course, wish requests are vetted by a board of directors and representatives from Elderly Services and the Community VNA in order to ensure that both wishes and the individuals are sincere and bona fide.

The Hamden Senior Wish Society believes that wishing is sharing hopes, and in order to thank seniors for their contributions and acknowledge their value to our community, there is one major fund-raiser a year. This year, it is a Wine Tasting and Auction on Thursday from 5:30-8 p.m. at the Laurel View Country Club on Shepard Avenue in Hamden. Tickets are $25, with company sponsorships at $250, which includes two event tickets and recognition in the program book. Tickets, auction donation items and “wish” application information may all be gotten by contacting Betty Wetmore at 203-376-9677 or Robbie Juliano at 203-980-3054.

What a wonderful way to enjoy a pleasant evening with neighbors while helping to brighten a senior resident’s day.

On a completely different topic, but one I feel strongly about, I was dismayed to hear Gov. Romney during the first presidential debate say that he would cut PBS funding. No matter what your political affiliation, voices need to be heard on behalf of this valuable public channel.

I think funding for all the arts needs to be increased, not cut, as has been the trend in recent years. When my children were small, I knew as long as they were watching Channel 13, I didn’t have to monitor what they were seeing and when Mr. Rogers was on, I watched with them.

Now, like many seniors who do not have money to pay for the expensive “extra” channels, I enjoy unbiased news, reruns of some old favorites, interesting scientific and cultural programs, ballet and opera — all for what is really a minuscule amount of money. Do without “Faulty Towers,” “As Time Goes By,” “Keeping Up Appearances” and “Downton Abbey”? Not until they remove the television clicker from these cold, dead fingers.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Wine tasting Thursday benefits Hamden Senior Wish Society

Do drop by the Orchard House in Branford on Oct. 14

A wonderful opportunity for everyone to learn about the very special place known as Orchard House, at 421 Shore Drive in Branford, comes next Sunday afternoon.

From 2 to 5, it’s having a 30th anniversary celebration.

Lt. Gov. Nancy Wyman and Kristen Cusato, former news anchor at WTNH-8, will be on hand, as well as yours truly. Refreshments, entertainment and a silent auction will be part of the excitement.

The celebration will honor many of the individuals and organizations whose support over the years has meant so much.

Founding director Thomas Romano opened the door on the lower level of the First Baptist Church on Main Street, Branford, to two clients when this adult day-care center started. Two years and 12 clients later, the center moved to its present home, where it provides services to residents of Branford, East Haven, Guilford, Hamden, New Haven, North Branford, North Haven and West Haven.

The men and women who attend Orchard House range in age from 60 to close to 100. The people lovingly cared for there usually have more extensive needs for care than can be accommodated at most senior centers, which serve independent, self-sufficient individuals. Orchard House is open during the week from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. and on weekends from 9 to 3.

I spoke recently with Stephanie Evans-Ariker, the charming nurse who is now the executive director of Orchard House. She has held executive positions in geriatric home care and assisted living and is passionate about the full range of services Orchard House is able to provide. A fleet of wheelchair-accessible vans provide round-trip transportation from clients’ homes.

Warmly greeted by an aide, a senior upon arrival is given a snack and then can participate in a variety of activities, such as armchair aerobics, tai chai or yoga. Several registered nurses are on the premises to dispense needed medications.

New members receive a thorough health assessment so that ongoing monitoring and nutritional planning can follow. Special support can be provided for those with dementia or Alzheimer’s. During the day, a hot meal is served, and there is music therapy, entertainment, arts and crafts and a chance to enjoy visiting pets or the extensive, lovely gardens with walking paths.

For those who would prefer to just relax or watch their favorite TV program, there is a lounge area with plush recliners and a state-of-the-art television.

The Orchard House mission statement says it all: “To restore, maintain or improve our clients’ abilities and enhance their quality of life by providing a home-like setting that encourages independence and friendship.

For information, go to www.theorchardhouse.org or call 203-481-7110.

If you are a caregiver who is stressed out managing your life and the life of a loved one, the Orchard House Medical Adult Day Care Center can offer a cost-effective, high-quality solution. Too many seniors are institutionalized prematurely because relatives are not able to handle the responsibilities of home or work requirements and also the ongoing needs of a beloved relative.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Do drop by the Orchard House in Branford on Oct. 14

There is something special about autumn in New York

I took a long overdue and much-needed day off last week, and it turned out to be one of those perfect early fall days that we, on the East Coast, are so lucky to be able to enjoy. I even managed to snag one of the comfortable, spic-and-span new Metro North trains that deliver you to New York with your insides still in one piece.

Heading first for The Jewish Museum at 92nd and Fifth, I couldn’t help but notice that all of New York seemed to be out walking their dogs, and everyone seemed to be smiling. Even the dogs looked especially happy to be out on such a glorious day.

I had come to see the exhibit, “Edouard Vuillard — A Painter and His Muses,” as I am very fond of this artist’s highly patterned canvases and blend of traditional and modern. Many of his works have an almost Japanese feel to them.

The Jewish Museum, located in what once was a magnificent, private home, is a New York treasure — wonderful exhibits, good location near the Metropolitan Museum of Art, but easily “do-able” in a morning or afternoon.

The 50 key artworks being shown were highlighted as examples of the importance that Jewish collectors and patrons played in the development of modern art.

Vuillard was a member of a Parisian avant-garde group of artists known as the Nabis, which translates as “prophets.” Inspired by Paul Gauguin, they used simplified form and pure colors although many of Vuillard’s paintings show the influence of his home, where his mother and sister who were dressmakers, lived among highly patterned ribbons and fabrics.

Two wealthy families became Vuillard’s patrons: the Natansons, who published an important cultural review, and later, Joseph Hessel, a senior partner in a prestigious art gallery. I came away with a lovely framed copy of, “Woman in a Striped Dress,” a painting awash in pattern and color which will brighten my dressing area.

Upstairs at the same museum, I discovered a small but intriguing exhibit “Crossing Borders,” which featured exquisite books and manuscripts with translations and illustrations of the Bible and New Testament into Hebrew, Syrian, Persian and Latin.

A quick bite to eat in the museum café, and the 5th Avenue bus soon brought me to the Metropolitan and a small but excellent exhibit of Japanese art in the Rinpa aesthetic which, although we had lived in Japan, I had never heard about. It is, I learned, a distinctive style of Japanese pictorial and applied arts, using bold, graphic, natural motifs. The textiles, lacquer ware and ceramics on display were indeed lovely, but I could not see anything that unusual or distinctive as to define them as a special “style.” Many people were there to see the just-opened Andy Warhol exhibit, but I was not about to fight the crowds to look at repetitive views of Jackie Kennedy in various colors. Guess it isn’t “my thing.”

Instead, I wandered back to the glorious Islamic wing, eight years in the making and featuring the arts of Turkey, Iran, Central and South Asia. This area alone is worth a trip to New York. It is, in a word, breathtaking.

I was hoping to make one last stop on the way to Grand Central to view an exhibit at the New York library “Lunch Hour, New York City,” featuring some examples of the old Automat — (remember those?). I got as far as the front of the library, but the sight of what looked like a series of endless steps, discouraged my worn-out feet, and I grabbed an oncoming bus for Grand Central, instead. Anyway, I thought, as I gratefully sank into the train seat for the ride home, the exhibit will be there for some time yet.

Ah, Autumn in New York! As the song says, “It’s great to live it again.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: There is something special about autumn in New York

Jean Cherni: Senior Moments, Thoughts on Libya

Of the many distressing items in last week’s news, one of the most upsetting to me was the attack on our embassy in Libya and the death of a uniquely caring and qualified ambassador, Christopher Stevens.

This young man, fluent in Arabic, often put himself in harm’s way in an effort to be part of the culture and readily available to the general populace in Egypt.

Although restless youth in Egypt need little excuse to pillage and attack, the hate-mongering, American-made, on-line video mocking the Prophet Muhammad, added instant fuel to the fire. When such a video, almost instantaneously is translated into many languages and disbursed around the world, one has to wonder whether freedom of speech is being misused and there is complete unaccountability between one individual’s actions and the results it can incur.

I recall the uproar caused here a few years ago by an artist’s rendering of the cross in a toilet, and, although the artist said no disrespect was intended, that he was describing what had happened to Christian values, the museum was forced to remove the painting because it offended so many.

Since there is already so much misunderstanding and animosity toward Western powers on one hand, and lack of knowledge and suspicion of Muslims by us, is it any wonder that instead of trying to comprehend why this happened and how our foreign policy must change in order to even begin to bridge the cultural divide, instead there was a round of finger pointing and accusations as to who should have apologized first or not at all.

Almost unnoticed in the uproar was the fact that in Saudi Arabia, where no protests were reported, the Grand Mufti, one of the highest religious authorities, denounced the attacks and said, “It is forbidden to punish the innocent for the wicked crimes of the guilty.”

In Tunis, where protestors also attacked the U.S. Embassy, the moderate Islamist party governing the country warned that such violence threatens the country’s progress toward democracy after decades of dictatorship.

Professor Alon Ben-Meir, an expert on Middle East politics who has written seven books related to Middle East affairs and has specialized in peace negotiations between Israel and Arab states, claims the West has supported Arab despots that oppressed people and suppressed individual liberty and imitative. The West also for decades exploited Arab resources.

The Arabs, says Ben-Meir, are quick to point out Western corruption, while many of their governments are notorious for robbing their nation’s wealth. They accuse the West of being morally decadent, but will go to great lengths to live in Western society. But, regardless of how each side views the other, both the Arab and Western people and governments will need to cooperate. Globalization and national security make such cooperation imperative.

Unfortunately, religious fanatics and ideological zealots on both sides will fan hatreds. Ben-Meir cautions that the Arab Spring is a long, evolutionary process punctuated with violence between domestic groups vying for power. He feels that U.S. economic assistance must be given on condition that they are channeled toward sustainable development projects that empower the people and enhance the quality of life of ordinary men and women. Is it possible for us to try to learn from tragedies like this, rather than see which American political party can hate the most?

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Jean Cherni: Senior Moments, Thoughts on Libya

Mother Jean dispenses sane fashion advice for fall 2012

expensive, and W magazine and the Style section of The New York Times too outrageous, Mother Jean gives her annual fashion advice for fall 2012.

-Shop your closet: The possibilities are strong that what you already have, accessorized with a fall color such as burnt almond, leaf green or coral, will look just as good as what the stores are showing. One of the newer cropped jackets can team up with many pairs of your existing slacks, or a new scarf can revive an old cashmere sweater.

While fashion pundits now advise us that the “no white after Labor Day” rule is a thing of the past, I do think that white jeans or a polyester blend paired with a autumn-colored sweater or blouse looks fine, but lightweight white cotton or florals should now be banished to the basement or attic till next year.

-Put away the shorts: When it is really hot, they are a practical choice, but let’s face it, many of us (other than the bobbies in Bermuda) don’t look that great in shorts. Also, put away the flip-flops and sandals. It is time for real shoes or at least, darker colored, strap walking shoes.

-Accessories make the outfit: Early in my career, I was responsible for accessorizing the clothes chosen for fashion publicity photos. I learned that a well-chosen pin, scarf or blouse can add spice to a simple suit or dress. My own favorite accessory is a good-looking or unusual handbag, and I admit to owning quite a few.

For ladies “of a certain age” whose size, like mine, dictates that they can’t wear extreme fashion and whose budget and feet require they remain comfortably conservative, a unique, statement-making handbag can bring zing to an otherwise simple outfit.

T.J. Maxx always has a wonderful selection, and end-of-the-season sales at the Clinton Outlet can “bag” you a bargain.

-True elegance is wearing what becomes you: This season or any season, knowing what looks good on you and wearing it with your own personal flair, is what fashion is all about. Boots and leggings may be “in” and look great on slender, twentysomethings, but they can look ridiculous on a mature woman. If purple is this season’s color, but it makes you look as though you just left Yale-New Haven Hospital, don’t wear it.

Sleeveless styles are out unless you have arms like Michele Obama, and I’ve yet to see a woman who can walk gracefully while wearing stiletto heels.

-Take a good look in the mirror: Before leaving the house. Often you may have added one accessory too many or you will see a view from the rear that surprises you.

Then, when all seems right, smile and give yourself a compliment. Feeling good about yourself is a great way to start any day.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Mother Jean dispenses sane fashion advice for fall 2012

Sadly, some of our well-off friends are not very well off

Last week, I visited a friend of many years who had recently moved into a beautiful and very posh continuing-care community near Princeton, N.J. Although we both started out as young mothers of modest means who lived across the hall from one another in Chicago, Dori has ended up in financial circumstances which far exceed mine.

We both lost our husbands recently, as well, but although I, too, must make a move (in my case to something much smaller and less expensive), my friend can’t comprehend how I greet each day with enthusiasm while she wishes she had not moved from her large, somewhat isolated home and has difficulty finding much joy in living despite helpful children nearby and an adorable new granddaughter.

She has trouble understanding how, with a greatly reduced income to manage on, I remain positive and fairly content. I told her that although I certainly am not looking forward to making a move from my delightful home at the Ponds, I have been fortunate to have enjoyed it with Val for more than 20 years. And as a reminder to myself to count my blessings, I have on the refrigerator, a clipping of a woman with a tear-stained face, looking at the devastated remains of what once was her home before the recent floods in New Orleans. Now, that’s trouble!

I also have always had a somewhat casual attitude toward finances, disliking strict budgets and operating with an intuitive feeling of about how much to spend (probably the reason I haven’t accumulated a big bank balance). However, over time, I have learned where to spend my income to produce the greatest return. First, you must learn to recognize what things are really important to your happiness; not an easy task when we are constantly bombarded with others telling us what we are supposed to desire.

I have learned that in order to frequent some upscale restaurants I enjoy, I must shop like a demon at the supermarket, challenging myself to find the best for less. I really love the theater, but even going to previews and searching for half-price tickets on line, it is still a big-budget item, so I go to very few movies, renting the ones I truly want to see from the library or Netflex. Since there doesn’t seem to be much that I enjoy on television, I am making do with a perfectly adequate older set forgoing the large, flat, plasma screen all my neighbors own.

Travel, especially to exotic places is a passion for me, so I save for trips by driving a 10-year-old car that may not have all the bells and whistles, but which no longer requires collision insurance and still gets me safely where I am going. If a new car or television is what makes you happy, then you should spend your money differently than I do.

Of course, we all have basic needs that must be met. But beyond those, I think happiness lies in how we decide to spend the remainder. The more it can be on things or experiences we truly love and enjoy, the greater the satisfaction.

Pinch pennies on the “must haves,” but splurge if you can, on those things that add zest to your life. My New Jersey friend is surrounded by luxury, but is finding very little in life to be pleasurable. I hope that changes for her ... to live without savoring every moment is such a terrible waste.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Sadly, some of our well-off friends are not very well off

Johnson & Johnson leads way in removing harmful chemicals from daily products

Recently, I wrote a column in what I hope was a humorous tone, criticizing the trillion-dollar cosmetics industry. Since then, a news item came to my attention in regard to the use of some ingredients in beauty and household products that could potentially be dangerous.

This column, therefore, is completely of a serious nature. The news item was an announcement by Johnson & Johnson, makers of a wide range of personal and baby products, to remove many potentially harmful chemicals, like formaldehyde, from its line of consumer products by the end of 2015, becoming the first major consumer products company to make such a widespread commitment.

This unusual step is a result of a very lively public discussion going on about the safety of ingredients in personal care products. On average, women use 12 products containing 168 ingredients every day, men use six products with 85 ingredients, and children are exposed to products with 61 ingredients, daily.

What??? You thought the government was checking on the safety of these products?
Unfortunately, cosmetics are unregulated and are often made from poorly tested chemicals. The Food and Drug Administration can’t require safety tests or even recall harmful products, and manufacturers are not required to report cosmetics-related injuries to the agency.

In my opinion, this needs to change!

According to the Environmental Working Group website, more than 500 products sold in the United States contain ingredients banned in cosmetics in Japan, Canada or Europe.

I was also disturbed to learn that “dermatologist tested,” “gentle and natural” and even “organic” can just be advertising hype. “Fragrance” is a term that cosmetics, cleaning and candle industries use on an ingredients list that discloses only that there are unnamed chemicals in the product.

We are not just talking about cosmetics, but about shampoo, toothpaste, soap, deodorant, hair conditioner, sunscreen, body lotion and shaving products and room sprays.

Lisa Archer, director of the Campaign for Safe Cosmetics, said her group would continue to press other cosmetics and consumer-goods companies to follow Johnson & Johnson’s lead, including Estee Lauder Companies, Proctor & Gamble, Avon and L’Oreal.  

Estee Lauder stated that it adheres to stringent safety standards for all of its products, and P&G said the company communicates openly with consumers about the ingredients it uses.

Meanwhile, Johnson & Johnson’s admirable decision requires the company to walk a tightrope, showing itself willing to make extensive changes while still reassuring consumers that its existing products are safe. The company calls its new policy, “moving beyond safety.”

Meanwhile, for an exhaustive list of products and their content, you can go to ewg.org/skindeep, or keep the following information from their “Quick Tips for Safer Cosmetics”.

-Your Teeth: No triclosan in toothpaste.

-Your Lips: No retinyl palmitate.

-Your Hair: No fragrance, PEG, ceteareth and polyethylene. No parabens: propyl isopropyl, butyl, isobutyl. No DMDM hydantoin.

-Your Nails: No formaldehyde or formalin in polish or other nail products. No toluene, dibutyl phthalate, a.k.a. DBP.

“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.” — Yves Saint Laurent

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Johnson & Johnson leads way in removing harmful chemicals from daily products

Big Brother waits for us over in Aisle 5 with the cookies

My mother, ordinarily a fairly patient woman, would lose her temper when I was supposed to be helping her, but instead, out of a lack of interest or just plain perverseness, I would get in the way, and, rather than lightening her load, make additional work.

“I don’t need that kind of help,” she would finally snap. “Just leave me alone.”

I had the same reaction upon learning about a new “personalized pricing” program initiated by Safeway supermarkets, North America’s second largest supermarket chain.

Apparently, Safeway has “loyalty shopping cards.” I am aware that local supermarkets are tracking what customers buy through their “silver membership” and other programs, but Safeway has gone a dangerous step too far.
Shoppers with its program use a special automated device as they shop. Depending upon the frequency of purchase, certain products will automatically register at a lower price for one shopper than for another who is not a frequent buyer of the product.

Additionally, in order to join the program, you must agree to 23 regulations — presented in fine print — regarding their coupons and agree that any feedback you give is not confidential.

This is consumer manipulation that is invasive and dangerous. If a company wishes to know my buying preferences, ask if I want to participate in a survey, and I can take part or take a pass.

Far too many cellphone and computer applications are being introduced by stores, banks, travel companies, airlines, etc., under the guise of making life easier, but they are actually tracking our emotional “hot buttons” and subconscious reasons for buying, even our inner-most desires and thoughts.

George Orwell’s “Big Brother” is too close for comfort. One large marketing company promises to “help strengthen your customer relationships by gaining personal insights into what makes them tick, what their interests are, what motivates them to buy, what they care about.” Another company will “monitor customer behavior and predict future customer actions and changes in behavior.”

Procter & Gamble, a giant company with sales in excess of $76 billion, makes Pampers, Tide, Crest, Olay and other products. It hired a consultant to design a digital marketing campaign. That company’s network centers are in Mumbai, Shanghai and Buenos Aires. They are monitoring Americans’ buying habits, but not always adding to the paycheck of Americans.  

Your online purchases or webpage visits are recorded as “cookies.” The Federal Trade Commission has issued voluntary guidelines for marketers, but unless the rules are made mandatory, stores know that they get a higher response rate when computer sites are targeted to a consumer’s past buying preferences.

We are told that banking, buying and even dating online make life easier. Maybe, but we are paying a hidden price: the invasion of our privacy.

To quote my mother, “I don’t need that kind of help. Kindly leave me alone.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Big Brother waits for us over in Aisle 5 with the cookies

Imagine what we could do with the money we spend on cosmetics, diet pills, etc.

I’m not averse to powdering my nose, keeping my nails trim and polished or getting a boost from a bright, new lipstick, but I’m darned if I’m going to spend all kinds of time and money to fight the inevitable by investing in serum corrector for dark spots, new-skin foundation, $300-a-jar wrinkle-smoothing cream made from sea kelp, eyelash-grower gel, diet pills, teeth whiteners, spray-on suntans, bust enhancers, fanny definers, or any of the other 101 “necessities” the beauty industry can think up.

I started reflectively obsessing on the trillion-dollar industry that beauty products represent while cleaning out a collection of really old magazines and came to the realization that “hope in a jar” has been around a long time, and actually the number of products has not only multiplied, but now have been designed to entrap the male sex, as well.

Every year, for the past 20 years, Estee Lauder and Lancome have introduced, “scientific breakthroughs,” Revlon has come out with “new and improved” and Cover Girl has a new face and a new makeup marvel.

And we keep buying into the fantasy. The lipstick will make my lips look full and inviting and last all day, the eye makeup will not leave me looking raccoon-like if I cry, the rouge will give me the natural glow of a 20-year-old; and if I use the night cream regularly, the crow’s feet will have flown the coop in two weeks.
The male sex is being sold machines to increase their abs and biceps and god knows what else, decrease their tummy flab and tighten their buns. There are, in addition to hair transplants, “libido enhancers” and other newly minted products for the stronger sex. More men are going for plastic surgery procedures than ever before.

Not so long ago, the only cosmetic-type gift you could give a man at Christmas was Mennen’s skin bracer. Now there is a complete array of designer skin creams and colognes with which to gift the guy in your life.

Weight-loss products almost deserve a column of their own. Hundreds of articles and books have been written on numerous diets, some saying eat proteins, others espousing carbs only, and there are the vegetarian and organic-food-only devotees, as well as the eat everything, but in small quantities contingent.

Each season, a new weight-loss product is introduced, none of which has proven long-lasting, clinical results and the side effects of which are enough to make your hair stand on end (just in case that should become fashionable). I ask you, if something were really successful, why would they keep coming out with other diets or products? We would already all be sylph-like, and Macy’s could reduce its inventory to size 6 only.

The thought occurs to me that we could have already licked cancer, AIDS and arthritis if as much effort and research had gone into the cure for the aforementioned as has gone into developing a formula for longer eyelashes, or any of the other “vain unnecessaries.”

“Keep on living as though you expected to live forever. Nobody grows old by merely living a number of years. People grow old by deserting their ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up interest, wrinkles the soul.” — Unknown  

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Imagine what we could do with the money we spend on cosmetics, diet pills, etc.

There was a time when emerging technology actually made life easier

Once upon a time, I looked forward and took pleasure in buying something new. Now, I do lengthy, diligent research before making a selection from the multitude of the many products performing the exact same function. And, sorry to say, before I have even paid the credit card bill for said item, there is a newer, better version introduced to the market.

My daughter has been anxious to give me a present of one of those tablets on which you can read any book ever published. As a writer myself, I have an inborn distaste for anything other than a true book. I love the beautiful covers, artistic bindings and heft and weight in my hands.

I feel connected to the author as I turn the pages or go back and read a favorite passage. It may be the romantic in me, but I feel a beautiful, cherished book is also a tribute to the author’s efforts and to the words and story bound within.

However, it would be nice to have a variety of books instantly available when traveling, and the clincher for me was when I learned that you can adjust the print size, and even purchase one with a built-in light; marvelous for airplane trips when everyone else is sleeping and you want to read. My research revealed that the Kindle, sold through Amazon, starts at $79, with the Kindle DX setting you back $379.
The latest Kindle Fire is $199, has color, connects to the Web and, of course, you can also watch movies and play games. There are more than 800,000 book titles available for $9.99 or less; no waiting, no due dates.

And since in today’s world, we always need others’ opinions on simply everything, you cannot only highlight a passage you like, but the Kindle will let you know how many other readers have also highlighted that same passage, so you can then post it to all your friends using social media.

Mentioned as an additional incentive, free offers will also be displayed on your Kindle. (Do we really need yet another place where advertising invades our lives?)

The major competitor is the Nook sold by Barnes & Noble and costs from $99 to $199. The Simple Touch with the Glow-lite is $139, and the Nook color is $169, nice for looking at art books and some magazines, but alas, no Glow-lite.

Did I forget to mention that to get a Nook Look, you can purchase a Lily Pulitzer cover for $30, or a Graphite snap-on light (in case you bought the color model), a special frame to make holding the Nook easier, and a tote for toting will set you back $69.96.

I still can’t decide. So meanwhile, I’m tossing a paperback into my handbag. I did, recently, make an instant technical decision. In Staples to purchase more costly cartridges for my aging Epson printer, I spied an HP laser printer on sale for which I also had a coupon. Reasoning that I could buy the new printer for little more than the cost of the cartridges, I purchased it on the spot.  

Once home, opened the box, no assembly required, plugged it in, but alas, my current, old computer was not set up to converse with the technology in the new printer. Fortunately, the Pearce office tech wiz, Rick, came to the rescue, and after hours of work, put the two devices “in sync.” Without his help, I would have had the added cost of a technician from Staples.

My last technical misadventure occurred when my cellphone charger was lost at Milford Hospital. Stopping at Radio Shack to purchase a new charger, the salesman looked at me in dismay.

“Your cellphone is very old, isn’t it?” he inquired. “I replied that it is, but it still worked just fine. “I’m sorry,” he said a bit disdainfully, “they no longer make a charger for such an outdated model.”

Deflated, I bought the simplest, new cellphone, plus a charger, and hurried home to read the instruction book. After an hour of trying to fathom where the buttons in the illustrations matched the phone, I had to swallow my pride and return to the store for help.

There must be something they add to the baby formula nowadays that enables even toddlers to master the technology. It apparently isn’t in this Jean’s genes.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: There was a time when emerging technology actually made life easier

Society’s moral compass seems perpetually on the fritz

“There is no right way to do something wrong.” — Author Unknown
I am finding it harder and harder to believe in the basic honesty of most people, even though the thought is worrisome and depressing. The news is filled with cheating and dishonesty by people in all walks of life; from students at the prestigious Stuyvesant High School in New York City sending answers via text messages, to a huge fine for the drug maker, GlaxoSmithKline, for the biggest health care fraud in history.

Major banks falsifying interest rates, brokerage houses lying about their profits, insider trading, newspaper owners illegally wiretapping heads of state and royalty, sports figures accused of using performance-enhancing drugs.

Even priests and almost the entire athletics department of a leading college, closing their eyes and refusing to see and report what had to be obvious sexual abuse.
Not forgetting commentators and politicians themselves, who deal in half-truths, changing truths and downright fibs.

Cheating and dishonesty has become so pervasive, it is almost commonplace, and what makes that so worrisome is that pretty soon, we will no longer even find it unusual or shocking.

According to a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, creative types tend to be more dishonest because they are better equipped to find ways of being dishonest without losing their self-respect. Equally interesting, the study revealed that MBA students (those seeking an advanced degree in business) cheat more than graduate students from other disciplines.

Michael Douglas’ character, Gordon Gekko, in the movie “Wall Street” put it succinctly when he said, “Greed, for lack of a better word, is good.”

Of course, there are many reasons for dishonesty.

Sometimes, it is laziness or taking the easy way out. Sometimes, if one has no skills, he or she needs to cheat. In fact, there are some “life coaches” that suggest “fake it till you make it” as a standard operating procedure.  

There may be a few individuals with no moral sense whatever, but for many it is greed, the feeling they can get away with it, and especially dangerous today, the rationale that everyone does it.

I believe it starts in small but important ways; our acceptance of misleading advertising in both print and on the television, inaccurate labeling of our food products, exaggerated claims for diet aids, cosmetics; the list is endless.

Unless we stop accepting these small lies and half-truths as “normal,” our tolerance for dishonesty gradually increases without our hardly being aware of it.

We must look to ourselves, first and foremost, and be certain we are always striving to act in a completely honest, honorable fashion. Having done so, we need to demand the same of our business associates, the firms we do business with and especially, of our political representatives and leaders.

I can think of no better thought on which to end this column than the words of George Bernard Shaw, who said, “We must make the world honest before we can honestly say to our children that honesty is the best policy.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Society’s moral compass seems perpetually on the fritz

Lazarus’ immortal words put the Statue of Liberty on solid footing

Sunday marks the birthday of Emma Lazarus, a remarkable woman who we know remarkably little about, considering that the last five lines from her poem “The New Colossus” were inscribed on the base of the Statue of Liberty, immortalizing her words and forever changing the message of the lady with the lamp for people all over the world.

Originally, the statue in New York Harbor was conceived as “Liberty Enlightening the World,” a more aggressive monument designed by Frederic Auguste Bartholdi and given to us by France.

The statue’s design was based on a lighthouse that the sculptor had imagined for the Suez Canal, “Egypt carrying the light to Asia,” a declaration of liberty triumphant. Welcoming immigrants had nothing to do with it, although Emma’s poem changed the very meaning the statue now represents.

Lazarus’ poem was written in 1883 in order to help raise money for a needed pedestal for the statue. Her poem was not inscribed on the statue until 1903, after Emma’s death. It is interesting to note that she was not an immigrant herself, but a fourth-generation Sephardic Jew from a very wealthy family.
One of her cousins served on the Supreme Court, and another relative was a founder of Barnard College. In 1882, moved by the pogroms taking place in Russia, she began to work for Jewish causes and for the refugees who were fleeing to the United States. Out of her work, the poem “The New Colossus” took shape.

“The New Colossus”

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame  

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep ancient lands, your storied pomp” cries she

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me.

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”  
 

Just a few of the famous immigrants to the United States:

-Albert Einstein, Germany, physicist

-Ieoh Ming Pei, China, architect

-Madeline Albright, Czechoslovakia, former secretary of state

-Joseph Pulitzer, Hungary, newspaperman and founder of Pulitzer Prizes

-Felix Frankfurter, Austria, Supreme Court justice

-Irving Berlin, Russia, songwriter and composer of “God Bless America”

-Ang Lee, Taiwan, director and producer

-St. Frances X. Cabrini, Italy, first American saint

-Subrahmanyan Chandrasekhar, Lahore, India, Nobel laureate, physics  

-Father Edward J. Flanagan, Ireland, founder of Boys Town orphanage

-Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austria, actor and California governor

-Hakeem Olajuwon, Lagos, Nigeria, basketball star called “The Dream”

-Al Jolson, Lithuania, entertainer

-Bob Hope, Britain, entertainer

-Andrew Carnegie, Scotland, industrialist

-Levi Strauss, Germany, developed American jeans

-Elie Wiesel, Romania, Nobel Peace Prize winner

-Liz Claiborne, Belgium, fashion designer

-Gloria Estefan, Cuba, entertainer

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Lazarus’ immortal words put the Statue of Liberty on solid footing

Villagers make life manageable for seniors who want to stay in their homes

During my recent recuperation from surgery, I received several emails and then a personal visit from Dr. Randy Reinhold of the about-to-be-fully-launched, Shoreline Village Ct. Bitsey Clark of the already-up-and-working East Rock Village was kind enough to send me detailed information about that program.

Both organizations felt they would have answered all of my needs as a single woman, without nearby family, facing an unforeseen emergency. While I am not certain that they would have been able to help with everything, I do think the village concept offers enough advantages at a fairly moderate cost to merit serious consideration by many seniors.

Essentially, the Village concept, which originated in Boston in 1999, hopes to help members remain in their own homes and communities, taking care of themselves and each other.

Beacon Hill Village in Boston now has more than 400 members and has served as the model for many other “Villages” in America. When someone joins East Rock Village, for example, they are offered a full home safety inspection and if improvements are required, vetted providers such as electricians, plumbers or carpenters can be called. A call to one of their neighborhood offices can arrange rides, after-hospital care or 24/7 access to an APRN who can evaluate emergency situations.
The big advantage when dealing with any unforseen emergency is having all your needs taken care of through the help of one individual who can also contact family members. Additionally, East Rock Village offers social get-togethers and trips. Exactly how the Shoreline will operate may be different. It will extend from Branford to Old Saybrook.

Not everyone should remain at home, of course. Continuing-care and assisted-living communities offer pleasant apartments as well as individual homes, on-site help when needed, health care and fitness facilities, nutritious food, diverse activities, transportation and companionship. I have seen lonely or isolated individuals blossom and get a new lease on life in a well-chosen community.

Two of the most important things anyone living alone should do are:

1. Have an emergency response system, such as Life Alert.

2. Complete the following:

-List of Medications and any allergies. One copy should be on your refrigerator for the emergency responder, one copy in your wallet and one copy for your primary care doctor.

-Living will and durable power of attorney

-Designation of health care agent

Your next of kin should have copies of these documents and know the safe whereabouts of the originals. They should also know and be able to have access to all your bank accounts, your car and insurance documents and your safety deposit box and credit cards. A trusted elder law attorney should be consulted when making your will and your living will. The later is especially important if you do not wish certain life-prolonging measures to be employed in your behalf.

Having said all of the above, I would never have come through my recent unplanned, unexpected, emergency as smoothly as I did, without the wonderful assistance and encouragement of friends, co-workers and faithful readers. I am so grateful to all of them.

For information about Shoreline Village Ct., contact Reinhold at 203-747-5939. For information about East Rock Village, contact Bitsey Clark at 203-776-7378.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Villagers make life manageable for seniors who want to stay in their homes

Toss water, ice and a few lemon slices into a pitcher and enjoy

Next to oxygen, water is the nutrient most needed for life. Humans can go without food for a month, but we can usually survive only three or four days without water.

Water makes up 85 percent of our blood, 70 percent of our muscles and 75 percent of our brains, although on certain days when I am being forgetful, it feels as though my brain is 100 percent water.

In our bodies, water acts as a solvent, coolant and lubricant; carrying nutrients, removing toxins and, very important in summer weather, regulating our body temperatures. The elderly are especially at risk for dehydration in hot weather, because our bodies have a lower water content than younger people. We may also have a more muted perception of thirst. Unfortunately, many symptoms of dehydration do not appear until significant fluid has been lost.

In only eight hours, life-threatening consequences can occur. Disabled elderly are especially at risk and need help and reminders to drink fluids. Some will refuse fluids in the incorrect belief that they will prevent incontinence and decrease the needed number of trips to the bathroom. The opposite is often true. Some signs of dehydration are confusion, poor skin elasticity, dry or furrowed tongue, weight loss, cramping in arms or legs, flushed face, dizziness, headaches and a decrease in blood pressure. The best defense, of course, is prevention. If you are helping to care for an elderly person, the following suggestions could be useful:

-Schedule fluid intake for at least three times a day between meals. Older folks tolerate more frequent, small drinks rather than large quantities.

-Leave fresh, full pitchers of water at bedside and supply straws and special drinking glasses to make it easy.

-Offer a full glass of fluid with medications.

-Take a positive approach. Instead of asking, “Do you want something to drink?” say, “Here is a nice glass of juice for you.”

-Offer a variety of different cool beverages. Use colorful glasses or garnish with a piece of fruit.  

-Avoid beverages containing caffeine or alcohol since they both have dehydrating properties.

-Always have ice water and other beverages with you on all family outings.

Although as I write this, I am still in re-hab, if all goes well, by the time you read this, I will have returned home. My heartfelt thanks to so many readers who sent emails and cards, which helped me to stay cheerful and positive.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Toss water, ice and a few lemon slices into a pitcher and enjoy

Well, watching TV for the next 20 years would be a waste

Sometimes it takes either advanced age or illness to make one acutely aware of how precious the later years in life are. Several recent commencement addresses by famous people, among them Condoleezza Rice, stressed the importance of doing what you love; of making the time and effort to “find your passion.”

Our retirement years can be an opportunity to rediscover a passion or find a new one. Don’t expect that a wonderful, new interest will suddenly materialize. Sometimes it takes real soul-searching and quite a bit of trial and error before you find what can fill your days with never-ending interest and pleasure.

Patricia Santiago of Bridgeport was in her 60s when she was laid off from her job as a forklift operator. She went back to school and got her high school diploma, then also went to Housatonic Community College for an associate’s degree and finally ended up as one of the oldest to graduate from Post College. Santiago has a new, full-time career helping others to get training and new careers.

College towns can be especially good places for seniors to settle, and many new retirement communities are being built in or near well-known colleges such as Cornell in Ithaca, N.Y.; Duke University in Durham, N.C.; and Virginia Commonwealth in Richmond, Va. Towns like these tend to be recession resistant and, like New Haven, offer entertainment, sports and other activities. Here is just a sampling of some possible second careers in these types of towns:

-Athletic Event or Theater Ticket Services: Juggle urgent ticket requests by phone, mail or customer service window. Usher at theatrical events and see all the shows for free.

-Event Planning: Must be detail-oriented. Plan reunions and campus conferences. Schedule speakers, draft programs, register guests, order equipment and hire musicians, entertainers, etc. You can obtain a Certified Meeting Professional credential.

-Career Center Counselor: Give vocational assessment tests, help with resumes and how to dress for and make a good impression in interviews. Rehearse clients and present career workshops.

-University Bookstore: It is the hub of campus life. Need to be organized, able to order books and have sales ability.

-Shuttle bus driver: Flexible hours. Need a commercial driver’s license for which there is a short training period.

You might turn a hobby into paying work. ETSY.com offers more than 11 million handcrafted items, or you could start your own website or sell at craft fairs.

Healthcare is a growing field and with the many complex rules and regulations, patient advocates are in great demand. They help to negotiate the medical system, solve billing mistakes, contest insurance coverage rejections and coordinate care. No license is needed, but to receive credentials, contact the National Association of Healthcare Advocacy Consultants.

Whatever your interests or talents, there is a way to use them and even profit from them.

To live fully, we need to get out of our comfort zones by:

-Avoiding regrets

-Challenging our brains

-Seeking unique experiences

Life is a wonderful adventure that starts with the discovery of oneself.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Well, watching TV for the next 20 years would be a waste

It s like one big family at Evergreen Woods Health Center in North Branford

Any place is only as good as the people who work there, and the people who work there reflect on both the expertise and the personal philosophy of the management.


A majority of the staff at the Evergreen Woods Health Center in North Branford, where I am recuperating after emergency hip surgery, have worked here for a long time, and there is a definite feeling of being part of a team. It creates an atmosphere that makes patients feel well cared for and thus promotes healing.

I especially like that everyone wears a clearly visible name tag, and although it would be a difficult practice to adopt for outside, everyday life, it is certainly a convenience. Seeing someone’s name every day helps to put name and face together much more readily, and should a sudden “blank out” occur as you go to introduce someone, the handy name tag serves as a reminder.

Errol Lewis, whose Jamaican accent and flashing smile brighten the health-care dining room, watches over our small group, hovering over those who need extra help, suggesting tempting items for flagging appetites and in general, anticipating the needs of this more frail and dependent group. Errol recently introduced me to a 103-year-old resident whose eyes and hearing have dimmed a bit with age, but whose mind is razor sharp.

She went to college at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor, and I told her that my uncle attended the forestry school there, and we agreed that it is a lovely place. She became a schoolteacher and preferred the early grades, before children turned into “problem teenagers.”

Wearing a lovely aqua-colored twin sweater set trimmed with aqua sequins, she was delighted when I complimented her. “I have some that are even nicer,” she confided, “but they have gotten too big.”

Judy Harrison and Peaches Lewis are sisters who became nurses’ aides after their beloved mother was admitted to a nursing home when they were both quite young. The uncaring, poor treatment their mother received during that time determined their career choice and their mission to help others. Judy gave me my first shower here ... quite an experience.

Undressed and seated in a plastic wheelchair which features a bottom-less seat, Judy pushed me into a large shower room where she proceeded to scrub and spray me from top to bottom. And I do mean bottom! The open chair seat allows for a wonderful and thorough spraying from underneath; sort of as though you were sitting in a bidet equipped with a Jacuzzi. Delightful!

Among the night nurses, two that have become special to me are “Grandma” Fowler and Mary Serpis.

Grandma is brisk and efficient with a keen sense of humor, evident even at three in the morning. Mary, whose soft Irish accent is matched by her equally soft hands, steals in so quietly and works with such skill and gentleness I am hardly awakened at all. Her hands instinctively reach out to help, anticipating my needs before I realize them myself.

Mornings, the therapy team of Nancy Goldstein, Laurie Higginson and other equally talented therapists push, cajole and encourage me to work on an increasingly difficult routine of exercises designed to improve balance, strengthen leg and arm muscles and increase my endurance. Sometimes it aches a little the next day, but I am doing more and walking farther all the time.

By the time I leave for home, I should be roller skating back.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: It s like one big family at Evergreen Woods Health Center in North Branford