Something very special happened to me last week, and it caused me to think about, then research and write this column. After taking Val to get his hair cut, I suggested we treat ourselves to lunch. We chose Humphrey’s, a bar-and-grill-type restaurant that was nearby, but where we had never eaten previously.
Since I was able to park immediately in front and there were no steps to navigate, I asked Val if he thought he could manage to get to a table without my usual routine of taking the folding wheelchair out of the car trunk, unfolding it, and wheeling him inside.
He agreed and we proceeded into Humphrey’s with Val’s arm around my shoulder, both of us with knees buckling until we made it to the nearest table. Once there, we gratefully collapsed. I hadn’t noticed a young couple seated in a booth across from us, but apparently they had observed us. We ate our lunch, and upon requesting the check, the waitress advised us in a conspiratorial whisper, “The couple that had been seated across from you paid your check and wishes you a merry Christmas.”
I was flabbergasted. They hadn’t even stayed so we could either refuse or thank them.
That evening and the next day, I kept turning over in my mind what that unexpected act of generosity had meant to me: The warm holiday glow and renewed belief in the goodness of most people that it had instilled, and I began to research acts of random kindness.
One of the first things I found was a documentary film, “A Passion for Giving.” The directorial debut of Robin Baker Leacock, it features the selfless efforts of generous individuals, addressing the achievements of many people who did not have a lot of money. It also makes the point that practicing compassion is as beneficial to the donor as to the recipient.
From the film, I also learned that Meals on Wheels, which helps so many Connecticut seniors, was started in New York in 1981 by New York magazine food critic Gael Greene and chef James Beard. They initially raised $35,000 to cover 6,000 Christmas dinners for folks who otherwise would have gone without. Now, Meals on Wheels delivers more than 2 million meals each year.
When I mentioned my lunch experience to my neighbor, she said her granddaughter had just seen a movie on HBO called, “Pay It Forward.” Checking the reviews of that film, based on a book by Catherine Ryan Hyde, I found that although some felt it dragged and was too schmaltzy, all agreed that the idea about a young boy, inspired by his teacher, to help three people to make the world a better place and then to ask them to each help three others, to in effect, “pay it forward,” was in itself, inspiring. Since the film stars Helen Hunt and Kevin Spacey, two of my favorite actors, I plan to rent it and decide for myself.
Finally on the HelpOthers.Org website, here’s just a sampling from something called a Smile Deck of Cards.
Clubs: For People You Know
2 of clubs: Leave a snack for an unsuspecting co-worker or friend
3 of clubs: Give a friend your favorite book
(This continues to the ace of clubs, which is to call a mentor and thank them.)
Hearts: For Unknown People
2 of hearts: Hide spare change where a stranger will find it.
3 of hearts: Tell public service employee how valuable they are. (This continues to the end of the suit with knock on neighborhood doors with a snack.)
Lastly, spades suggests things to do for our world, and diamonds offers things to do to create happiness for yourself. In this category, I will be looking for the opportunity to be an “unknown giver” and pass on the wonderful warm feelings that unknown couple gifted to me.
Merry Christmas, dear friends and readers.
Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.
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