Mother Jean dispenses sane fashion advice for fall 2012

expensive, and W magazine and the Style section of The New York Times too outrageous, Mother Jean gives her annual fashion advice for fall 2012.

-Shop your closet: The possibilities are strong that what you already have, accessorized with a fall color such as burnt almond, leaf green or coral, will look just as good as what the stores are showing. One of the newer cropped jackets can team up with many pairs of your existing slacks, or a new scarf can revive an old cashmere sweater.

While fashion pundits now advise us that the “no white after Labor Day” rule is a thing of the past, I do think that white jeans or a polyester blend paired with a autumn-colored sweater or blouse looks fine, but lightweight white cotton or florals should now be banished to the basement or attic till next year.

-Put away the shorts: When it is really hot, they are a practical choice, but let’s face it, many of us (other than the bobbies in Bermuda) don’t look that great in shorts. Also, put away the flip-flops and sandals. It is time for real shoes or at least, darker colored, strap walking shoes.

-Accessories make the outfit: Early in my career, I was responsible for accessorizing the clothes chosen for fashion publicity photos. I learned that a well-chosen pin, scarf or blouse can add spice to a simple suit or dress. My own favorite accessory is a good-looking or unusual handbag, and I admit to owning quite a few.

For ladies “of a certain age” whose size, like mine, dictates that they can’t wear extreme fashion and whose budget and feet require they remain comfortably conservative, a unique, statement-making handbag can bring zing to an otherwise simple outfit.

T.J. Maxx always has a wonderful selection, and end-of-the-season sales at the Clinton Outlet can “bag” you a bargain.

-True elegance is wearing what becomes you: This season or any season, knowing what looks good on you and wearing it with your own personal flair, is what fashion is all about. Boots and leggings may be “in” and look great on slender, twentysomethings, but they can look ridiculous on a mature woman. If purple is this season’s color, but it makes you look as though you just left Yale-New Haven Hospital, don’t wear it.

Sleeveless styles are out unless you have arms like Michele Obama, and I’ve yet to see a woman who can walk gracefully while wearing stiletto heels.

-Take a good look in the mirror: Before leaving the house. Often you may have added one accessory too many or you will see a view from the rear that surprises you.

Then, when all seems right, smile and give yourself a compliment. Feeling good about yourself is a great way to start any day.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Sadly, some of our well-off friends are not very well off

Last week, I visited a friend of many years who had recently moved into a beautiful and very posh continuing-care community near Princeton, N.J. Although we both started out as young mothers of modest means who lived across the hall from one another in Chicago, Dori has ended up in financial circumstances which far exceed mine.

We both lost our husbands recently, as well, but although I, too, must make a move (in my case to something much smaller and less expensive), my friend can’t comprehend how I greet each day with enthusiasm while she wishes she had not moved from her large, somewhat isolated home and has difficulty finding much joy in living despite helpful children nearby and an adorable new granddaughter.

She has trouble understanding how, with a greatly reduced income to manage on, I remain positive and fairly content. I told her that although I certainly am not looking forward to making a move from my delightful home at the Ponds, I have been fortunate to have enjoyed it with Val for more than 20 years. And as a reminder to myself to count my blessings, I have on the refrigerator, a clipping of a woman with a tear-stained face, looking at the devastated remains of what once was her home before the recent floods in New Orleans. Now, that’s trouble!

I also have always had a somewhat casual attitude toward finances, disliking strict budgets and operating with an intuitive feeling of about how much to spend (probably the reason I haven’t accumulated a big bank balance). However, over time, I have learned where to spend my income to produce the greatest return. First, you must learn to recognize what things are really important to your happiness; not an easy task when we are constantly bombarded with others telling us what we are supposed to desire.

I have learned that in order to frequent some upscale restaurants I enjoy, I must shop like a demon at the supermarket, challenging myself to find the best for less. I really love the theater, but even going to previews and searching for half-price tickets on line, it is still a big-budget item, so I go to very few movies, renting the ones I truly want to see from the library or Netflex. Since there doesn’t seem to be much that I enjoy on television, I am making do with a perfectly adequate older set forgoing the large, flat, plasma screen all my neighbors own.

Travel, especially to exotic places is a passion for me, so I save for trips by driving a 10-year-old car that may not have all the bells and whistles, but which no longer requires collision insurance and still gets me safely where I am going. If a new car or television is what makes you happy, then you should spend your money differently than I do.

Of course, we all have basic needs that must be met. But beyond those, I think happiness lies in how we decide to spend the remainder. The more it can be on things or experiences we truly love and enjoy, the greater the satisfaction.

Pinch pennies on the “must haves,” but splurge if you can, on those things that add zest to your life. My New Jersey friend is surrounded by luxury, but is finding very little in life to be pleasurable. I hope that changes for her ... to live without savoring every moment is such a terrible waste.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Sadly, some of our well-off friends are not very well off