There is so much joy to be savored in the moment, so slow down

During a recent effort to get rid of some of the ever-increasing volume of accumulated paperwork, I came across the outline for a seminar I had given some years ago on time management.

In re-reading the outline, it was obvious that the intent is to make the entire day as productive as possible. Every hour was broken down into segments in which you had to complete a specific task.

Unfortunately, while raising three children and working, I not only tried to live that way myself, I encouraged others to do the same. Now, in my 80s, I am fully aware of how precious time is and while, if I have a deadline to meet, I can call on those time-management skills, I am more frequently apt to question activities in terms of pleasure received for time spent; my criteria now is not how much did I get done today, but what enjoyment was derived from time spent? 

That can mean having the time to re-read a favorite book or poem, to meet a friend for a leisurely lunch, to take a drive with no particular destination in mind — the only goal to absorb and enjoy the journey.

Too many of us have the feeling that whatever we are doing, we should be doing something else. We rush from one thing to the next. If you find that happening, stop what you are doing. Breathe deeply and concentrate fully on one thing for 3 minutes: a flower, a picture, an item on your desk.

You will be pleasantly surprised by how much more relaxed you will feel and how your “pace” has been automatically slowed down.

When our children get upset, we call for a “timeout.” We need to do the same for ourselves whether we are feeling rushed or get angry during an argument. Take 10 minutes to be silent and calm down while reflecting on why you became so angry. Or sometimes we find ourselves worrying about the future.

While seniors, especially, need to make plans for the future, constant worry spoils the present moment which is where our happiness truly lies. A wise doctor once said that understanding is impossible without serenity, but one can only achieve serenity when time moves slowly. And Marthe Troly-Curtin said, “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted.” Certainly, doing nothing can be restorative, but not if you are feeling guilty about all the things you should be doing.

Yale Richmond, a British author, remarking on retirement in his book, “Understanding Americans,” wrote, “Half their lives is spent trying to find something to do with the time they have rushed through life trying to save.”

Spring in Connecticut is such a special season. Few areas of the country have these days of ideal weather coupled with the breathtaking flowering of such a variety of plants and trees. After such a long hard winter, it is especially important to take the time to relax, enjoy and live fully “in the moment.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

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