Learn all you can about your cancer

Next Sunday marks the 23rd National Cancer Survivors Day, a worldwide celebration of life, held in hundreds of communities and many countries. A survivor is anyone living with a history of cancer — from the moment of diagnosis through the remainder of life.

Breast cancer has touched both me and my daughter-in-law, so I was especially interested to come across two helpful tools which could make a big difference to anyone with a cancer diagnosis. The first is a book, “The Saving of Gordon — Lifelines to Win Against Cancer” by Joni-James Aldrich, and its handy companion, the “Cancer Patient Win Book Journal,” an excellent repository for all your doctor visits and notes.

The author believes that if cancer affects you or a loved one, you will be in crisis, but despite that, you should not make assumptions or rash decisions. Your survival may well depend on knowing and understanding all options, the side effects and ramifications.

Aldrich feels, “Knowledge is your armor. Your doctor is a doctor — not God. He doesn’t have all the answers.” Her book explains that there are more than 100 different types of cancer, and there is no type of cancer from which someone has not recovered.

The same cancer can act differently in different people and a wrong diagnosis can lead to the wrong treatment and the danger of delay. The author states that doctors are there to advise you of your options, and that is why it is so important to find those who have the most experience.

She also is a believer, as am I, in getting a reliable second opinion. Her wise advice regarding cancer is certainly applicable to other illnesses, as well. For example, she says if your cancer situation is serious and life-threatening, get treatment at the facility with the experts. We’re lucky to live near our new Smilow Cancer Center and Sloan Kettering. The author lists these important questions to ask:

-How serious is the type of cancer that I have?

-What stage is my cancer in?

-Is there effective treatment available?

-Is a clinical trial an option?

-What cancer facility is available that treats the most cases of my type of cancer?

-Who and where is the No. 1 oncologist for my type of cancer?

Although she eventually lost Gordon to a rare type of cancer, Joni James Aldrich’s beautifully written and researched book is a lasting tribute to their special relationship and to her determined spirit against great odds. Not all of us have the ability or staying power to do such extensive, difficult work, and that is where my second resource could prove extremely valuable.

Independent patient advocate Robert Capria offers one-on-one individual information, guidance and help. He and his wife (both cancer survivors themselves) live in the New Haven area and while he does not offer medical advice, he does claim that with the research and guidance he can offer, better outcomes are more achievable.

He does the difficult leg work, obtains the latest medical information so that you can make the best treatment choices. After visiting his www.independentpatientadvocates.com, I certainly wound want him on my team if my cancer were to re-occur.

“The Saving of Gordon” may be ordered at www.thecancerlifeline.com. Independent Patient Advocates offers a free phone consult at 203-980-6064.

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We need vibrant libraries now more than ever

Today’s libraries, with their multitude of services, are being used by more people than ever before. Unfortunately, funds for many libraries are also being severely curtailed. The East Haven Hagaman Memorial Library, guided by the capable and dedicated Cynthia Gwiazda, the community services librarian, has initiated a series of cost-effective, popular programs.

Giving a boost to local authors, as well as providing an entertaining evening, Hagaman’s recent authors included Henry Lee presenting, “Shocking Cases from Dr. Lee’s Forensic Files,” “A Measure of Joy,” written by Reiki master teacher Gay Stinnett and Tom Ackerman’s novel, “For a Reason,” which explores why things happen.

There is also a classics book discussion group and a contemporary fiction discussion group, both of which meet in the afternoon. Free movie nights include pizza and soft drinks, and free ballroom dance lessons for tango, waltz and swing were available earlier this spring.

There have been free concerts and a virtual program, “50 Wonders of Korea.” For anyone inspired by the latter to take a trip, the library will have a special Passport Day June 5 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. to help anyone needing a passport.

A special feature for anyone older than 60 who is homebound (permanently or for a short period) is the Homebound Delivery Service, which Cynthia was able to start after she applied for and received a special government grant. Regular- and large-print books, as well as videos and books on tape, can be delivered to the homes of East Haven residents.

One of the most innovative programs at their library is the Adopt-an-Author plan. You agree to purchase one copy of each new book published by your favorite author for one year. In turn, you are able to borrow the book first, after which it becomes part of the circulating collection and can carry your identification on a book plate.

As part of their effort to make the library a vital social center for the town, new carpeting, bright new windows and a new air-conditioning system have been installed. Getting people to use their town library has been the goal of many libraries. Some have created cafes and special zones to appeal to teenagers.

While the economy has encouraged people to seek free Internet access at the library for job hunts and free book and movie rentals, library hours, along with senior services and arts programs, are on the chopping block in many states. One Dallas library countered budget cuts with a program called Street Smart Express, which charges a $5 fee for any hot, new book.

It will be interesting to see how the Internet and Kindle affect the library of the future. Library scholarship began in the Great Library of Alexandria, paid for with funds from the royal treasury, and the books were actually scrolls made of papyrus or leather. Today, there is already a library in Massachusetts that is completely electronic; there is not a single book!

It is discouraging to learn that 40 percent of the people in America read one book or less last year, but a rare June 1938 comic book, the first to feature Superman, sold recently for a cool million dollars. Will the printed word become an endangered species? Only time will tell, but this writer is betting on its survival.

Meanwhile, have you checked out what’s happening at your local library lately? For programs at the East Haven library, call 203-468-3890 or go to www.hagamanlibrary.info.

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This grandmother has quite a resume

sat with Giuliana Maravalle in the pre-construction confusion of what will be her spacious, new version of the former New Haven Keys to the City destination and special-events restaurant combined with room for her Gelato Giuliana wholesale business.

At an age when most other grandmothers have retired, Giuliana is negotiating leases, hiring construction crews and running two successful businesses.

I was curious to learn how a Connecticut woman of Italian heritage with no formal education beyond high school, has accomplished what many MBAs would envy. Giuliana started out as a hairdresser but before long, she opened her own salon, Julie’s Hair Design in Fair Haven, and then a second salon in North Haven.

She had, however, difficulty in finding well-trained help so out of necessity, she started a small beauty school which became the Gal-Mar Academy, the largest beauty school in the state. After 30 years, she sold the school to Paul Mitchell.

Never one to sit idle for long, Giuliana thought it would be fun to have a small bottega with good espresso, some cakes and some gelato to serve a New Haven clientele. But she couldn’t find any really good gelato and having visited Italy as a teenager, she remembered what really excellent gelato should taste like.

Again, necessity became the mother of invention, and Giuliana traveled to Italy to learn how to produce the quality gelato she was after. People who came to her bottega loved the gelato and soon were asking where else they could buy it. Now available in 40 mouth-watering flavors, it is sold wholesale to Whole Foods and many other specialty food stores in the Northeast. (For a list of stores and restaurants carrying her gelato, go to www.gelatogiuliana.com).

True gelato, Giuliana explains enthusiastically, must be 15 percent or less air, so a smaller amount is satisfying and the flavors are very intense. Some ice creams contain as much as 90 percent air and many artificial additives.

Gelato Giuliana uses fresh ingredients and the fruit-based flavors are only 30-40 calories in a 4-ounce serving. I didn’t want to know how many calories are in her wonderful amaretto or coconut, creme brulee, hazelnut or tiramisu flavors; fortunately, even a small dish is very satisfying.

Guilana’s new destination restaurant, Keys to the City at Terminal 110 at Long Wharf in New Haven, will have a soft opening Thursday. They’ll be open from 5 p.m. to midnight, Thursdays through Saturdays only. Easily accessible from Long Wharf Theatre and downtown, it will feature casual fare and unique performances by dueling pianos. Keys to the City may be booked for parties and special events as well. Call 203-772-0607 for reservations.

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Knights of Columbus exhibit pays tribute to a lifetime of sacrifice

She had no children of her own, but when she died, she was mourned the world over. Gonxha Bojaxhiu, the future Mother Teresa, became mother to the poorest of the poor in Calcutta, India. Although as a Unitarian and irregular church-goer, I hold no deep religious convictions, I was deeply moved by the extensive exhibit about Mother Teresa at the Knights of Columbus Museum in New Haven.

Using large printed panels and photographs that cover several rooms, the exhibit traces her beginnings, born in 1910 in Skopje, the capital at that time of the Kosovo province of the Ottoman Empire, later to become part of Yugoslavia.

It was a multiethnic and multireligious city. Gonxha, which means flower bud, was the youngest of five children. Her father, Nikola, was a merchant, and her mother, Drana, was a woman of deep faith who greatly influenced her daughter. When her father died, her strong-willed mother provided for the family by weaving and selling Albanian linen.

When Teresa was 18, she left home and entered the Sisters of Loreto in Ireland. Her mother’s parting words were, “Put your hand in his hand and walk all alone with him and never look back.” She never saw her mother again. She was given a new name as a postulate in Ireland at the Loreto Sisters, the Irish branch of an order which had foundations in Bengal, India.

Sister Teresa applied to go to India, and after two years as a novitiate, she made her temporary vows. At first, she taught in a Bengal school for girls. In 1937, she took her vows for life, and became principal of St. Mary’s School. She became fluent in English, Hindu and Bengali. In 1942, the British army requisitioned the school as a military hospital during the war.

The great turning point in Sister Teresa’s life came in 1943, when the famous famine in Bengal took the lives of more than 2 million and Gandhi’s nonviolent movement for independence was gaining strength. Then, in September 1946, during a train ride from Calcutta to Darjeeling, Mother Teresa received an inspiration or a call from Jesus in which she was asked to found a new religious community. After a long year of waiting for permission, the archbishop allowed her to write to the Loreto superior general, and in August 1948, she left the Loreto convent and stepped alone into the slums.

By January ’49, this diminutive but determined woman opened a school and medical dispensary in the Motjhil slum, using only volunteer help. By June 1950, she had a community of 12 nuns, and a year later, had opened 11 new centers. “We cannot let a child of God die like an animal in the gutter,” she said.

In 1952, she opened Nirmal Hriday (Pure Heart), where the homeless sick and dying could be cared for. One of them said, “I have lived like an animal in the street, but I am going to die like an angel, loved and cared for.”

The exhibit continues with photos of her home for unwanted children, her leprosy center, her first center outside India, in Venezuela, and with her increasing worldwide recognition, homes in Rome, Tanzania, Australia, East Germany and the Soviet Union. A home for AIDS patients opened in 1985.

The exhibit also tells us about the darkness and questioning that came to her life after her special call from Jesus. At times, she felt rejected and at a loss, but she finally came to believe that her pain and uncertainty were part of his pain, suffered on Earth.

Eventually, Mother Teresa received more than 700 awards and honors, including the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, although her simple, monastic-like room (reproduced at the exhibit) remained the same. As she aged, she suffered from heart disease, malaria, pneumonia and bone fractures, but her thoughts were always of others.

She said, shortly before her death on Sept. 5, 1997, “On the last day, Jesus will say, whatever you neglected to do unto one of the least of these you neglected to do unto me.” Her legacy lives on today in the religious community she founded, the Missionaries of Charity, which has more than 700 houses of refuge throughout the world.

The photograph of this remarkable woman, her face weathered and worn, but the eyes bright with hope, is an image I shall remember for a very long time.

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