Gatekeepers will be looking out for our senior neighbors

A unique program that helps seniors at risk, first implemented by St. Luke’s, a nondenominational charitable organization chartered back in 1865 in Middletown, is being introduced to New Haven County.

Known as The Gatekeeper Program, the goal is to educate community members (especially those who regularly are in contact with older adults) to notice and identify seniors who are potentially at risk or in need of assistance.

As Dwight Norwood, a social worker and director of the program explained, the breakdown of close-knit families and neighborhoods has resulted in many more seniors living alone who are isolated, depressed or in need of help.

Modeled after a successful program founded in Spokane, Wash., 32 years ago, Gatekeepers reaches out in a variety of ways to elderly residents living on their own.

The program works this way: A postal employee, beautician or neighbor notices signs that a senior is in need of assistance. They call the Gatekeeper at 855-ASK GATE, and report the elder’s name and phone number, their age, if known, the address or directions to the home and what their concerns are. The Gatekeeper’s name is kept confidential and their role ends here. Next, a trained professional senior advocate will establish contact, ask the senior if they would like some helpful information or a visit, and refer the senior to the appropriate community service.

Should the older adult refuse help, the advocate will determine whether that person is sufficiently at risk to warrant referral to Protective Services or a mental health professional.

In some cases, they may continue to monitor, but will not refer until the older adult is ready. Forcing assistance is never the goal, but the elderly deserve to be informed of alternatives and options that will preserve independence and enhance quality of life.

The Gatekeeper program is never a substitute for 911, but if any one call helps to prevent a senior from going to a nursing home, the potential saving to the state is $120,000 per year.

Signs that an older adult may need assistance are:

Unkempt appearance Continued...

Strong odors on person or in the home

Socially isolated

Depression, confusion or forgetfulness

Substance or alcohol abuse

Neglect of house, yard or pets

Physical decline

Caregiver stress (an older adult caring for a spouse)

The state will be setting up five new locations for the Gatekeeper Program, and hopes to involve and inform as many firms and individuals as possible.

If you would like to host an informational session for your staff, clients or organization, call Dwight Norwood at 855-ASK GATE during normal business hours.

This is an excellent opportunity for all of us to be alert and to lend a helping hand to those in need.

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Maybe it s time to take charge of holiday traditions

With two of my children on the West Coast and an increasingly frail husband, it is difficult for me to look forward to the holidays with the usual anticipation. Thanksgiving and Christmas are, after all, a time of family togetherness.

Additionally, the ever-increasing commercialization of the holidays (Xmas decorations now appear in several stores prior to Halloween, and some stores will open for business at midnight on Thanksgiving Day) make it difficult under the best of circumstances, to savor and enjoy each holiday in its own time frame.

Realizing the need to deal with my negativity and create some other options for enjoying this holiday season, I answered an invitation to attend a session of “Coping with the Holidays,” led by Georgette Wood, a professional counselor and wellness coach.

Georgette explained to the intimate group that the holidays often create more responsibilities, but not more time. We also are likely to expect more of ourselves and of others. And, of course, we all carry a fantasy image, created by the media and our own filtered memories of past holidays, of what the holidays should be like.

Somehow, it has become the responsibility of women to create the perfect holiday. We want the house to be beautifully decorated (a la Martha Stewart) we want to create the perfect meal and find the perfect present for everyone. Georgette suggested that we all ask ourselves:

-What options do I have?

-How can I create realistic alternatives?

-What can be eliminated, postponed or delegated?

-How can I celebrate in a different way?

The group talked openly about how to be more realistic in our approach. One woman who had recently lost her husband and who had always hosted Thanksgiving for the family, realized that this had to mark the beginning of a different tradition with another family member serving as host this year. Continued...


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We all talked about trying to set more realistic goals for ourselves, feeling free to say “no” to certain chores, to simplify where possible and to allow time and permission to be alone when necessary and not feel we must always make merry. Following are some general guidelines to follow:

1. Set manageable expectations. Make a realistic estimate of what you can do and make a list prioritizing the most important activities. Organize your time and spread out activities.

2. Problems occur even during holidays, and for some people it also brings back painful memories. It is OK to feel lonely or sad. One way to overcome these feelings is by helping others.

3. Take care of yourself. Exercise and get enough sleep. If finances permit, treat yourself to a massage.

4. Don’t compare this holiday with others. Circumstances change; enjoy the present for what it is ... a present.

5. Find new ways to celebrate. There are many activities to enjoy; quite a few cost little or nothing.

6. Remember to be grateful. We can’t change our circumstances, but we can change our attitude. Most of us here in America have many reasons to be grateful.

Wishing all of you a sane, satisfying holiday season.

-Georgette Wood, a wellness coach and counselor, can be contacted at 203-481-3757 or www.CreativeOptionsForLife.com.

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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I'd never been to Barcelona before

Ola (Hello) Barcelona.

My very favorite thing to do is to go somewhere I’ve never been before, so when an opportunity to take a short break from work and caring for Val, occurred, I didn’t think twice before deciding to book a trip to Spain.

The timing turned out to be unusually fortunate; I didn’t know until my return that the flight to Barcelona left just prior to the unusual snowstorm that hit Connecticut. My good friend and travel companion on many other journeys, Barbara Borchardt, met me at JFK, and in a pleasant 7½ hours we were seeing the first light of early morning in Barcelona.

It was not far to our small, boutique hotel near the main boulevard, La Rambla, with all the elegant shops, outdoor cafes and nonstop bustling traffic of pedestrians, yellow and black mini-cabs and motorcycles dodging in and out.

Barcelona is an elegant city of wide, tree-lined boulevards and beautifully preserved old buildings; most of which do not exceed nine stories. Additionally, the climate is sunny and warm, so there are many outdoor cafes, lush parks with greenery and flowers and people strolling the streets until late in the evening.

Available too, are excellent museums, restaurants and shops; in short, a most agreeable city in which to live. As a contrast to the elegant, old buildings of the city, most of the furnishings in the hotels and restaurants tend to be minimalist, ultra-modern.

Our hotel room was done in black and white with light switches you can’t figure out, a telephone and television remote that look identical, and a shower so well hidden behind a gray sliding panel we didn’t discover it until the second night. But there was a balcony overlooking the avenue, a helpful staff and a bountiful breakfast every morning.

Barcelona has an excellent system of on-off tourist buses. You buy a two- to three-day pass, but spend the previous night figuring out which museums or sights are on the red, blue or green line; which are on your paid-for special museum pass, which are free, and which ones you have a discount coupon for — all important to consider as there are long lines for most exhibits.

The pre-paid museum pass, which our travel agent, John Weinstein of Adler Travel in Hamden had recommended, was a big time-saver, allowing us to go to the head of the line.

We visited the Miro and the Picasso museums. The later is located in a converted palace. Other outstanding sights were the building known as Casa Batllo, a townhouse featuring swirling staircases, oceanic images and hallucinogenic curves typical of the famed architect, Gaudi, whose many remarkable creations are located in Barcelona. Continued...


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Another madcap Gaudi masterpiece, La Pedrera, has a rooftop of giant chimney pots that look like medieval knights. Supposedly, they were the inspiration for the imperial stormtroopers in the “Star Wars” movies.

The most famous of the many Gaudi buildings, however, is the La Sagrada Familia, a modernistic version of a medieval cathedral, still under construction after more than 100 years. Although unfinished, it is the most visited monument in all Spain.

Dinner is late, usually 8:30 or 9, and my favorite is eating at a tapas bar, where you point to the many wonderful little dishes and snack away while having white wine. I had fried sardines, roasted baby peppers, clams, crispy fried petite potatoes, succulent prawns and ended with ice cream with macadamia nuts.

Wonderful. And all during the dinner, I was chatting with a young man from Sweden who was a dead ringer for Leonardo Di Caprio.

Even more terrific, food was on view the next day when we visited the Boquieria Market, a huge open-air market with exotic fruit, dazzling seafood, mouth-watering pastries, nuts, figs and chocolates.

A one-hour flight took us from Barcelona to Granada to see the indescribable Alhambra, an ancient Moorish palace with a breathtaking view of the entire city.

Unlike sunny Barcelona, we decided that the rain in Spain falls mainly in Granada, where it was also much cooler, one of the reasons the Moors built the palace as a summer residence. That same night, we saw flamenco dancing in a tavern situated in an old cave.

Barbara and I had planned to go to Cordoba, but we both developed some sort of intestinal virus, which kept us hotel bound for a full day, during which we took every prescription and pill we had brought with us and existed on tea and toast delivered by room service.

Still, it was a wonderful trip, and all too soon, time to head home.

- Article by Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions. Contact her at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Noel Coward would not believe his ears

I’ve been watching and listening to the many Republican debates on television in order to try to take the measure of the man or woman who might possibly be called upon to lead our country out of the many knotty problems, both foreign and domestic, it presently faces.

So far, most of the candidates have seemed long on rhetoric and short on workable ideas. Whether Republican or Democrat, our campaigns seem to have deteriorated into mud-slinging bouts ... and we’re not even close to election time yet.

However, none of the candidates has shown the consummate skill of some famous past “insulters” who had mastered the fine art of the put down. A selection follows, and you, dear reader, may delight in finding these former sayings are a perfect match to today’s political figures. I leave you to figure out which fits who:

-“He is completely unspoiled by failure” — Noel Coward

-“Don’t look now, there’s one too many in this room and I think it’s you” — Groucho Marx

-“He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know” — Abraham Lincoln

-“Her only flair is in her nostrils” — Pauline Kael

-“He was trying to save both his faces” — John Gunther

-“He is a self-made man and worships his creator” — John Bright

-“He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts; for support rather than illumination” — Andrew Lang

-“The trouble with her is that she lacks the power of conversation, but not the power of speech” — George Bernard Shaw

-“He had delusions of adequacy” — Walter Kerr

-“He has all of the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire” — Winston Churchill

-“He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends” — Oscar Wilde

-“He has the attention span of a lightning bolt” — Robert Redford

-“A modest little person with much to be modest about” — Winston Churchill

-“They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge” — Thomas Reed

And to describe how I felt after listening to several of these lengthy debates, there is no better quote than Groucho Marx, who once quipped, “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.”

Just in case, at some future time you find yourself on the receiving end of an insult, some quick expert’s advice on how to handle it.

-Don’t react ... keep neutral.

-Ask why they are attacking you.

-If you have unintentionally made a mistake, accept responsibility for your actions and apologize.

-Anger, hurt and insecurity are at the root of most insults. Insecure people call attention to the shortcomings of others in order to cover up their own perceived inadequacies.

-Respond with humor.

-Talk away and let them look bad for stooping to an insult.

However, if you are like me, you will think of the perfect comeback at around two in the morning, when it is too late to do anything about it.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotckiss Grove, Branford, 06405.

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