Korean seniors hanging out at Queens, N.Y., McDonald’s treated like Hamburglars

Always outspoken about senior needs and rights, I was fascinated and conflicted when I read about a McDonald’s restaurant in Flushing, Queens, N.Y., where two police officers ordered a group of elderly Korean patrons to leave the restaurant.

It seems the group, often on walkers and with canes, regularly shuffled into the restaurant as early as 5 a.m. and stayed all day, treating the eatery as their personal senior center.

Officers have been called in, the group leaves only to walk around the block and return again, taking up seats and causing the restaurant to lose other customers.

According to the paper, there is no shortage of facilities that cater to the elderly there. A compromise was brokered by Assemblyman Ron Kim, which called for the patrons to limit their loitering to less than an hour from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. So far, it has only been working part of the time.

The story brought a smile to my face; but on a serious note, as the population ages, we all need to pay more attention to the special needs and feelings of the elderly.

Our own Branford Senior Center is difficult to enter for many seniors, and just recently I complained at a doctor’s office in Madison because their tiny bathroom lacked the requisite handicapped toilet.

All too often, streets in our towns, especially the side streets in New Haven, are icy and dangerous, days following a snowfall, forcing seniors to stay at home or risk falling when they venture out.

On Social Security
Also in the news are some changes in Social Security benefits. Workers retiring this year at full retirement age (currently 66), will see an increase from $2,533 a month to $2,642. If you are already on Social Security, your increase will depend on the level of your 2013 benefits, but benefits will go up 1.5 percent or an average of $19 per month. Based on the Consumer Price Index, during the past 25 years, COLA has averaged 2.74 percent; a relatively modest amount when you realize the increase in many basic living costs, yet some in Congress would like to lower the cost-of-living adjustment.

The maximum amount of pay that can be taxed for Social Security in 2014 will be $117,000, which means Jamie Dimon can sleep soundly at night. His raise as head of JPMorgan Chase to $20 million will hardly be affected. (Can anyone really be worth that amount of yearly compensation?) The Social Security tax is 12.4 percent, shared equally by worker and employer, but additionally, each also pays 1.45 percent for Medicare with no salary cap.

In 2014, if you are between 62-66, are receiving Social Security but continue to work, there is an earnings limit of $15,480 (an increase of $360 over previous years) before you start to lose some of your Social Security dollars. After full retirement, you are permitted to earn any amount with no penalty to your Social Security; a good rule since many seniors are planning to continue to work, well into their later years.

Meanwhile, I think this senior will forgo using credit cards for awhile. After this week’s news of data breaches at Neiman Marcus and Target, it will both save my money and my peace of mind.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

I'm reading: Korean seniors hanging out at Queens, N.Y., McDonald’s treated like Hamburglars

Ought to be an Oscar or Emmy-type award for seniors aging with courage

The Oscars, considered the definitive movie award, doesn’t occur until March 2, but already there have been a series of other awards, including The Critics’ Choice Awards and the Screen Actors Guild Awards, both televised and overly long and often featuring the same elegantly dressed actors looking up from their food in mock surprise as their name was once again announced. But additionally, there are such an incredible amount of various and sundry other awards, you would have to be either a novice or incompetent, not to have received something. Still to come, are the British Film Awards in February as well as their Rising Star Award. I’m not sure when the PGA or Outstanding Producers Awards or the Peabody for distinguished public service by a radio and television station, occur.

We also have the Emmys, tonight’s Grammys, the Golden Globes, the Broadcasting Press Guild, not to mention an amazing array of film critics awards; each area from San Francisco to Toronto having its own Film Critics Association Award. It is impossible to keep track of them all.

Meanwhile, there is a large aging segment of the population dealing daily with the various problems, pains and inconveniences of growing older, and they receive little notice; let alone, an award. I was thinking about this late the other night after watching the delightful PBS show, “Downton Abbey” when I had one of those brilliant moments of clarity (which somehow always occur late at night when nobody is around).

As I was contemplating my own aging and trying to estimate what some of my future needs would be, I thought, I don’t need a special award or even a party for each additional year I manage to survive.

What I would dearly love is an “Anna”, the personal ladies maid to Mary, on Downton Abbey. She could brush my wayward hair in the morning, do the laundry, help me choose an appropriate outfit for the day’s activities, bring me tea when I am tired and act as my adviser and confidante. Carson, the butler would be an elegant added touch although there is no dinning staff to oversee and there are only three doors to open in the entire apartment. You can’t really expect butlers to open closet doors, can you? “After all,” my imaginary conversation with myself, continued, “Since my mother was born in England, this is really not putting on airs, but simply part of my heritage.”

But of course, in my heart of hearts, I know that for me, like many who are aging, there will be no Anna and perhaps not even a nearby relative to be of occasional help. Yet, every day in my work, I see first-hand how courageously many seniors are dealing with the multiple challenges that are part of the aging process. So here’s to all you seniors — I personally bestow a special Senior Lifetime Achievement Award. “Bravo” and “Well Done.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

I'm reading: Ought to be an Oscar or Emmy-type award for seniors aging with courage

Look before you leap when picking a retirement community

Perhaps it is due to the chilly weather this time of year in New England, but a favorite topic of many magazine articles is where to move in order to live like royalty on your retirement income.

Of course, quite a few articles promote Southern locations, but surprisingly, spots like Iowa, Maine, Michigan and Texas are also recommended; none of which are known for their soothing climates. These articles have long been a pet peeve of mine because cost of living should not be the most important factor in making a retirement decision.

If cost of living is unusually inexpensive, there’s probably a reason, and it could be something that would be very detrimental to a fulfilling lifestyle. Very low taxes, for example, are likely to mean poor or below-standard municipal services. If cost of living is so cheap, will good doctors, dentists and hospitals be available? What if you want to work part time? Would employment be available?

Are there a variety of restaurants, some local theater, interesting programs at a well-staffed senior center and library? If these are of importance to you, you might find it advantageous to move to smaller quarters in your current town or to a smaller town in your same area, than to pull up stakes and head to the unknown. 

Local customs and ways of thinking also vary greatly from state to state. I could never feel comfortable in a state where everyone totes their guns to the local movies, nor would I be able to make friends in some conservative Southern towns where my sometimes brash New York ways, would be decidedly out of place.

Several websites as well as a recent article in the AARP magazine (which is usually unbiased and more accurate) extolled the good life for less and were misleading, to put it mildly. Daytona and Ormond Beach, Fla., were cited for their low property taxes and housing prices. One of the reasons housing is so inexpensive is that in the wake of the recession, housing prices in the area fell 47 percent, on average. 

What if you were a retiree who lost your lifetime savings in the crash? Bangor, Maine, was another “retirement haven.” While it does offer the American Folk Festival and three days of free music in the summer, those winters and the winter heating bills (unless you are up to chopping wood) are not for the frail. As for eating out, the article mentioned a popular diner for blueberry pancakes.

Another touted city was Grand Rapids, Mich., but the woman cited in the article was living in a low-income apartment, which if you qualify and can wait for, exist in almost every area. Again, taxes are low, but Michigan winters are extremely long and severe and the entire state has been adversely affected by the failure of the Detroit auto industry.

The AARP article also mentioned Greenville, S.C., as a retiree haven, and that at least, sounded more plausible. Car insurance and property taxes were so inexpensive that a couple could now afford to join the local country club for only $150 per month and enjoy, social events, sports and the pool.

One of the last towns mentioned in the article, Pocatello, Idaho, somehow sounded familiar. Pocatello has Idaho State University’s special seniors program open to anyone who is 50-plus years of age at a cost of just $35 per semester for unlimited classes. Utilities are cheap and the base lift at the nearby Pebble Creek ski area is only 5 minutes away.

But Pocatello kept ringing a familiar bell in my brain, and I suddenly recalled an article in The New York Times about this town. When I dug it up, the headline was, “Idaho Town Struggles After Pinning Hopes on Failed Plant” and it told the sad story of how Idaho has fallen from 37th place in per capita income to 49th, kept from the bottom only by Mississippi. It also has the fifth highest crime rate in the nation.

In 2007, a Chinese polysilicon factory broke ground on 67 acres of land which the city bought, hoping to bring back the prosperity that had left with the manufacturing and railroads. The factory never was completed, and with the global collapse of silica prices, no one else wants it.

Young people are leaving the town in droves with the nearest available work at a potato factory, paying $10 an hour. And yet, the AARP article had called Pocatello a “Northwest wonderland.”

The lesson to be learned? Before making any move, do thorough research on government websites, and make several visits to the area, surrounding towns as well as the one you have selected. Thenrent for a short period before deciding to make a final move. You might find the New Haven area, or a small Connecticut town, offers the most (if not the cheapest) fulfilling retirement lifestyle.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

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Todd Patkin’s ‘Finding Happiness’ wants us to stop being so nice in ’14

In last week’s column, I wrote about a book that suggested a monthly calendar of activities for the next year to increase your happiness. Sure enough, I’ve just come across another recently published book, this one by Todd Patkin, suggests you should make 2014 the Year of the Quitter, and why stopping these 12 habits will make it your best year yet. So in the interest of fairness and diversity of opinion, from Patkin’s “Finding Happiness,” here are some suggestions for the new year.

Give up on relationships — the ones that aren’t working. Some people drain your energy, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get along with them. Others are negative and wear you down. This could be the year when you make plans to avoid those people.

Stop being so nice. If you allow yourself to be taken advantage of in order to please someone else, it’s time to stop. Dishonest politeness never developed sincere relationships. Having a smaller number of true friends is healthier than trying to make everyone like you.

Stop working so hard. Think about balance in your life, instead of a new height in your career. Being a workaholic can bury you in stress, anxiety and depression. Achievement doesn’t always equal happiness.

Lower the bar. You may be shocked to learn that you probably expect too much of yourself. Whether the issue is your appearance, your house, your family or your job, you try for perfection. And on top of that, you most likely focus on what you do wrong. This year, it is time to realize that you are only human, and thus fallible, so sometimes you will mess up. Lower your expectations and celebrate your successes.

Ignore the Joneses. In America, we are constantly comparing ourselves to our friends, our neighbors, our co-workers and even people we see on TV. Constant comparisons only leave you feeling jealous and unhappy. Don’t use another person’s life as a measuring stick to determine how good your own is.

Don’t focus on your spouse. As a partner in love and life, you should be your spouse’s biggest supporter and coach, but don’t let that blind you to your own needs and responsibilities. Stop focusing only on your spouse, and figure out what will make you happy. If spending all of your time and energy on your spouse or on others is the norm, you need to figure out what is important to you and do what fulfills you. You can’t live your life primarily to please others.

Stop pushing your kids so hard. As parents, we really care about our kids and want them to have the best possible futures, but too much pressure can cause children of any age to burn out and make self-destructive decisions. It is crucial to remember that success and happiness aren’t the same thing. Love your children for who they are, not for how may A’s they get. And forget “quality time” with your kids. You can’t make up for working 70-hour weeks by taking a trip to Disney World. Life is found in the everyday moments. Kids are perceptive: They can tell if they always take second place in your life.

I guess the reason for the popularity of the numerous books on finding happiness and aging well is that it is human nature to want to become better, not just older, and a new year presents a new opportunity. One of my favorite quotes on that subject is from Barbara Kingsolver, who said, “The hardest part will be to convince yourself of the possibilities, and hang on. If you run out of hope at the end of the day, to rise in the morning and put it on again, with your shoes.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 49 Rose St., Apt. 510, Branford, 06405.

I'm reading: Todd Patkin’s ‘Finding Happiness’ wants us to stop being so nice in ’14