I’ll be better in a few days, but until then, please pass the tissue

There is a wonderful song in the show “Guys and Dolls” sung by the long-suffering, sneezing, coughing, nose blowing, Adelaide, “A Person Could Develop a Cold.” Although Adelaide’s cold is an allergic reaction to her beau’s inability to set a date, like so many others at this time of year, I am just recovering from an unwelcome Christmas gift in the form of a really persistent nasty cough and cold.

I felt so miserable, I finally went to the doctor for an antibiotic, which is now beginning to help suppress some of the nasty symptoms. One does wonder, however, in this day and age of miraculous discoveries and cutting-edge technology, why some genius hasn’t solved two minor but very annoying problems; a cure or vaccine for the common cold and a disc or other device you carry with you containing all your vital information, including all your medications and insurances.

That way, you would no longer need to fill out the same five-page form requiring your health history from the date you had your tonsils removed, in each and every doctor’s office. Is that too much to ask? Did you know that they now have an application for your cellphone that will indicate the optimum time during any current movie in which to take your bathroom break? Honest folks, I’m not making this up.

Despite my intentions for a good beginning for 2013, my house is an eclectic mix of partially-put-away Christmas decorations, half-finished glasses of honey and lemon and scattered boxes of Kleenex along with cough drops and nose spray, sharing space on any and every available surface.

All hopes of getting a headstart on straightening files, paying bills or bringing some order to that long-overdue basement closet, have vanished. I haven’t even summoned up the energy to write Christmas thank you’s yet.

Now that I am living alone, I find I also miss the presence of someone to ask solicitously, “Feeling any better, dear?” or “Can I bring you something?” Unfortunately, my response to the one call which might have elicited sympathy, my daughter’s unsuspecting, upbeat happy New Year from Puerto Rico where she was vacationing, came at a bad moment, and my response was less than jovial.

However, my two cats, Ginger and Chibi-chan are benefiting from my current incapacity. They love the fact that instead of my usual dashing in and out, I have been spending most waking moments ensconced on the couch, covered by a warm and fuzzy lap robe. They take turns jumping up and cuddling in my lap, are good company, and seem to sense that I need extra affection.

Now, if they could only learn to “fetch.” Till next Sunday ... achoo and adieu.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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First things first, resolutions have to be reasonable to succeed

Ah! The new year brings us fresh promises.

Scanning the magazine covers at the supermarket, one would conclude that the most important goal of all Americans is losing weight: “Drop a Jean Size,” “Slim, Sexy You,” “Get a Firm, Sexier Butt,” “The 8-Hour Diet” and “32 Foods that Fight Fat” were just a few featured articles.

Did you know that more people take out a gym membership in January than any other month?

Since it is human nature to want to set goals at this time of year, I’ve been doing some research on how to set goals that we have a good chance to accomplish.

First, I learned that you need to be sure your goals don’t conflict with one another. For example, if you have determined that you would feel better and be more efficient if you could get more sleep at night (incidentally, studies have shown that there is a link between obesity and sleep deprivation), and at the same time one of your goals is to join more activities or take a part-time job, those goals will have trouble coexisting.

I know that if I want to drop the 20 pounds that my cardiologist recommends, it will be at odds with my goal to remain cheerful, calm and noncritical. Any diet leaves me feeling deprived, disgruntled and downright peeved at the world. My only recourse would be to go into hibernation for six to eight weeks until I lose the pounds.

In case you are still determined to make resolutions for this bright new year, here are tips for accomplishing your goals.

-Make yourself a priority. Learn to say “no” to others when you feel overwhelmed and to say “yes” to your own needs and wants.

-Be grateful for what you have. Spend a few minutes each day making a gratitude check, thinking of all you have and the love, warmth, comfort and care you receive daily.

-Remember to pay it forward. Give of yourself every day; even if it is only to smile or say hello to a stranger.

-Live in the present. Let the past be in the past. There is no point in worrying about something that may never happen. Take steps to solve problems within your control; put others out of your mind.

-Let go of expectations of what “could be” or “should be.” Enjoy the life of now.

The main reason people fail at keeping New Year’s resolutions, or any promise to themselves, is they set the bar too high. In order to turn a goal into a habit, it needs to be very “doable.” The key to success is not how much you do every day, but whether you do it at all. You don’t need to tackle the whole staircase, just take the first step.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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Resolve to live your dream and make the world a better place in ’13

A new year is a time of new beginnings, of fresh starts, of hopefulness.

With the tragedy of Newtown and the fiscal cliff so much on our minds, we need to find ways to remain optimistic and to make things better, both in our own lives, and where we can, in the lives of others.

Many individuals, touched by the deaths in Newtown, have given money to the affected families. Others have decided to do 26 good deeds for others, one for each person killed. My mother told me that although it was good to cultivate the traits of patience and tolerance, there was something called “divine discontent,” and one should and must become impatient and angry over certain injustices.

I admire and applaud people like Candy Lightner who started MADD after her daughter was killed by a drunken driver.

I hope many of us who feel strongly about limiting certain types of guns in this country will continue to fight until that is accomplished as well. Each and every one of us has something to give to the world. As a new year approaches, it is a good time to re-evaluate what you can contribute. But before you can help others, you need to feel good about yourself.

All experiences are translated into happiness or suffering within our minds. You cannot be happy and sad at the same time. I recently read an interesting study about the leading regrets of people who were dying.

Many said they wished that they had let themselves be happier. They didn’t realize that time is a precious resource and that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. Fear of change or criticism of others prevented them from doing what they really wanted to do.

Many also said they realized too late in life that the best investment was in others, in friends and family, not things. When lives were almost over, many looked back and saw too many dreams had remained unfulfilled.

Now that we have lived through the dreaded-by-some end of the world date of Dec. 21, we can face 2013 with confidence and the determination to make this world a little better place because we are part of it.

We can do that best by living our dreams. You are never too old to start living that dream, unless you don’t start now.

Happy new you, everybody.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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For so many reasons, Christmas just doesn’t feel the same this year

Trying to keep a few traditions intact even though this Christmas I would have no family members joining me, I had gone to New York to see “the tree,” had lunch with a friend at the Metropolitan museum where we delighted in the Matisse exhibit, and enjoyed festive celebrations with co-workers and neighbors.

And then the horror that is Newtown, and this became a Christmas like no other. Could there be a more heart-wrenching time for tragedy than Christmas and Hanukkah, holidays especially meant for and enjoyed by children.

The random killing of small children here in our own state, in a typical, small, safe (we thought) town. Perhaps the Mayans had it right, but were off by a few days. Certainly the world that those of us born in the ’20s and ’30s knew has already ended.

Locks and lockdowns? Security systems? Armed guards in hallways? Safety drills on where to hide in a classroom? All unknown in my time, even at a New York City school where classroom doors were often kept ajar to catch the smallest cooling breeze.

Why has the world become so much more violent? As President Obama said in his touching speech, the reasons are very complex. Some blame lack of prayer in the schools, others our violent movies and games, still others our lack of enough help for our troubled youth.

We do know one thing for sure. We are the most “armed” society in the world, with more than 300 million guns in private hands and a gun homicide rate nearly 20 times higher than other civilized countries.

Australia changed its laws in 1996 after a gunman killed 35 people with semi-automatic weapons and now has banned assault weapons and shotguns and tightened licensing. Homicides in the years since have dropped 59 percent.

Britain bans almost all automatic weapons and requires voluminous paperwork to even own a shotgun or rifle for hunting. Japan also has very strict laws with similar low homicide rates.

Additionally, research has shown that gun ownership does not make people safer, but increases the likelihood of gun violence in the home. Surely, when the founding fathers wrote about our “right to bear arms,” they never envisioned the killing power of modern-day weaponry.

Our fascination with Prince William and mother-to-be, Kate and a popular British television series on PBS makes me wonder if we don’t still secretly yearn to be part of the Commonwealth, anyway. In the event a foreign power does decide to eliminate us, it will be by nuclear means, not semi-automatics. Despite all this, there are some voices in Congress saying we should wait to address the long overdue gun control issue.

If we do not try NOW to fix this problem, how will we answer to our children and how will we ever be able to look forward to and enjoy another Christmas?

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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