All of my beloved books will be coming with me

Getting ready to move, particularly if you are seriously downsizing, is something like putting away the pieces of a puzzle, after you have finished using it. As a completed picture, the puzzle made perfect sense, but when you pick up a stray piece on its own, you wonder what it is, and often, why you kept it.

Not so with my extensive and now, overwhelming, collection of books. Books picked up on my travels, art books with illustrations of some of the ravishing exhibits I’ve enjoyed, well-thumbed favorites like “Sherlock Holmes” and “The Rubyiat,” reference books, books I use in my work and a few I have yet to read.

Oh, I know we have an excellent library in Branford, and I know lots of information is available on the Internet, and I do make use of both of those sources, but for me, nothing takes the place of having a vast selection of the books I love and use right at hand.

I have decided I will have shelves built in every room if need be, but the vast majority of my collection goes where I go. Furniture, dishes, even some prized art work ... all is slated for an “estate sale” next week, and today I took Chibi-chan, my beloved Siamese, to meet her new owner, Arleen Kelly from Hamden, and I know they are going to be great for one another despite my tears at having to part with my little friend. (I am still looking for a home for Ginger, my talkative, companionable redhead.)

A book editor once explained that, “What is missing when you go to Amazon.com for books is the absence of opportunity for browsing; for finding what you didn’t know you were looking for. Efficiency, along with profitability and convenience, trample the subtle encounters that give meaning to life.”

Coincidentally, I happened to read a review of the just-opened Broadway show, “Matilda, the Musical,” based on Roald Dahl’s book, and not only did the reviewer, Ben Brantley, predict a tremendous hit, his review should encourage every parent to be sure this is one show their children get to see.

Brantley says, “Matilda is about words and language, books and stories, and their incalculable worth as weapons of defense, attack and survival. It’s about turning the alphabet into magic, and using it to rule the world.”

How refreshing and wonderful to have a delightful show for children that also stresses the importance and wonder of words and books.

This past week, along with packing up most all of my books, I have been busy trying to quickly make the many decisions that go into completely replacing a small, but extremely outdated, worn-out kitchen. Cabinets, countertops, appliances, lighting ... so much to think about, and I have very little time to accomplish so much.

Despite the time (and money) involved, I was finding the entire project challenging and fun until I was told that demolition of the old kitchen and replacing with the new would require three weeks, during which time I would have no cooking facilities whatsoever, and any furniture in the living room, which is open to the kitchen, would have to be covered because of the ensuing dirt and dust. Guess I will be taking up residence in the local diner.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net.

I'm reading: All of my beloved books will be coming with me

Older gadgets just seem easier to use

No matter what the experts say, my 84-year-old brain has just so much capacity, and its ability to absorb and process new information is not unlimited. I also take exception to that popular commercial in which an adult asks children if “faster is better.”

While I am enjoying my new Honda CRV, I am still using some of that brain capacity to remember where the radio and other controls are located, and just last week a friend finally showed me how to open the sun roof.

When I purchased the new car, it made sense, I thought, to get a new, larger GPS with updated road information. Big mistake! The new, updated version is much more complex to operate since it has additional features that I don’t need. Trying to “save” an address I recently put into the GPS, the obstinate device was offering me a menu of “recently viewed addresses,” “traffic alternatives,” etc., but the “saved” symbol had disappeared.

The voice of my old GPS was “Dennis,” whose familiar, British accent I trusted. The voice on the new device is a nasal-sounding woman whose presence doesn’t reassure me at all when I get lost.

And dear reader, would you believe that the GPS does not come with an instruction book? You must download all 142 pages of instructions from a website onto your computer. As unlikely as it might be: What if you buy a GPS, but don’t have a computer?

And speaking of computers, since I will be moving in early May and my computer is an old one, I have asked our office technical expert to help me purchase a new one. The “tech guy” there, Rick, informs me that not only will I have to become accustomed to a new computer, but that the latest version of Windows software is quite different and is a bit of a challenge to learn. Believe me, the last thing you need when you are moving is another challenge.

Remembering to call the post office, CL&P, the phone company, the tax office, the bank, etc. and assorted magazine publishers and credit card companies as well as which box has the Christmas ornaments would challenge even a whiz like Bill Gates.

I will also need to replace my old, beginning-to-malfunction answering machine. I shudder to think what new contrivance I will have to learn to master, just to hear: “Sorry we missed you. Please call for a trial subscription to 10 Days to Stronger Abs.”

When I misplaced my cellphone charger, I went into Radio Shack to purchase another one. The clerk, upon seeing the outmoded, but still perfectly good cellphone I was using, rather disdainfully informed me that they did not carry chargers for such an “outmoded” phone. So, I had to buy a new phone as well as a charger. That’s great for American business interests. Not so great for a senior on a budget.

As I look at some of the aging but still serviceable appliances and other equipment I am sorting for my tag sale, I have a new appreciation for many of them. They may be considered old-fashioned, outdated and obsolete, but by golly, they are easy to use!

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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True, some columns are simply more moving than others

In just a few, all too short weeks, I will be making a move from my present home at Hotchkiss Grove in Branford to a small condominium apartment in the same town. For someone who moved 13 times the first 10 years of married life and whose profession entails helping other seniors navigate the moving process, this should be “a piece of cake.”

But, somehow, it doesn’t seem like it. My daughter claims that my present state of upheaval is “poetic justice.” Maybe so, but I really think it is a learning opportunity, so I can be an even better moving adviser to others, having made such a major change myself so recently.

This particular move requires some drastic downsizing, which it is past time to do. With no relatives close by, that does mean getting rid of some cherished items that can’t be passed on to others in the family.

I know that I need to free up my life from what I don’t need and use in order to have the energy to do what is important. Sometimes we give too much importance to that which is impermanent, and having more than we need becomes a burden. I know I will feel much better once the move is accomplished ... it is just the process that can leave you feeling frazzled.

This is also the first move without my husband, Val, although his presence is certainly felt as I sort through the endless items and papers he accumulated and stored in the basement, some of it useful information on the care and feeding of our various appliances, which I will pass on to the next owner.

Other items, like ancient receipts, high school yearbooks and outdated “to-do” lists are of no value, but tug at the heartstrings of memory before being discarded.

Having helped design the Let’s Get Moving program for seniors at Pearce Plus Senior Services, I am especially fortunate to have had the advice and help of an outstanding Realtor, and I am also familiar with a roster of tried-and-true resources, from handymen to tag sale experts, who I can call upon.

One of the innovative, new items I will be using to move is called Jugglebox, which are green, re-usable, Earth-friendly sanitized plastic boxes that are delivered to your home or office before your move. You simply fill the boxes and move to your new location where you empty them, and then stack them out of the way for the company to pick up later. Popular in New York, they are new to Connecticut, come in two sizes, are inexpensive and handle and stack easily. (Contact Dan Dachelet at 877-584-4532 for more information.)

A major source of concern and unhappiness for me is that due to an unusual and to my mind, onerous, unfeeling “no pet” policy at the condo-apartment I am purchasing, my two beloved indoor cat companions will not be able to move with me. I am looking for good homes for Ginger, a talkative red-haired, female tabby not quite 5 years old, and shy little Chibi-chan, a quiet female chocolate Siamese who is 2½ years old. Adoptive parents for one or both, please contact me.

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: True, some columns are simply more moving than others

Talking about the ‘what ifs’ gives your family piece of mind

Working as a senior adviser, I often remind adult children of aging parents that they are “caregivers in waiting,” and that they should have a conversation with their parents about planning for the future.

But as an aging parent myself, I also realize that sometimes seniors brush off our relatives’ attempts to learn about our finances, plans for emergencies and illness and our wishes for how we want to be treated as life nears its end.

It is unsettling to experience the role reversal that occurs when our children take on the role of parent, but it is only by sharing the plans we have made and making additional plans with those who will eventually become responsible for our well being that we can avoid unnecessary stress and heartache later. Plan for the worst, but expect the best is not a bad mantra to go by.

Knowing you have many of the “what ifs” that occur with aging taken care of is a stress reliever for both you and your loved ones. Another excellent reason to do your planning with family members now is that all too often I hear of bitter arguments among siblings as to what Mom or Dad would have wanted. No one is sure and now their parent is too ill or too incapacitated to make his or her wishes known.

I also know that well-meaning relatives, and even professionals, can sometimes say things in a very condescending manner that makes seniors feel their opinion is of no value.

By taking the initiative and asking the family to become involved, we can avoid the worried “what should we do about Mom (or Dad)” conversations behind our back.

First and foremost, everyone should seek the advice of an elder law attorney and have both a will and a document called a living will, which is an expression of your end-of-life wishes as well as how many different “support services” you may want. Equally important, it names a person who will know and carry out these wishes for you if you should become unable to express yourself. Both of these documents can be changed by you if your circumstances or wishes change.

Family members should know where these and other important documents — such as bank statements, savings, birth certificates, insurance policies and deeds to the house — are kept.

There also needs to be an honest discussion about where you will live if you can no longer manage in your own home. The time to look at assisted-living and continuing-care communities is before the need arises. They are, I feel, a wonderful lifestyle for those who can afford them.

Some families are able to live together in harmony, but for others, the eventual care of a sick parent can become an overwhelming burden. Additionally, family dynamics have undergone major changes. There are now more divorced older people, causing uncertain medical and pension benefits. Parents and children do not always live near one another and rules can vary greatly from state to state.

Despite computers and cellphones, many families no longer have regular, meaningful conversations with one another; they are just “too busy.”

We all plan for some major life changes like going away to school, the first job, marriage, the birth of a child, yet the process of aging is often not talked about or prepared for.

Since Monday is April Fool’s Day, I’ll take the liberty of rewording the saying: “There’s no fool like an old fool who has made no plans for his or her own aging.”

Contact Jean Cherni, certified senior adviser for Senior Living Solutions and Pearce Plus, a helpful, full-service program for seniors contemplating a move, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at 101 Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

I'm reading: Talking about the ‘what ifs’ gives your family piece of mind