This Winter Weather Is Getting Under My Skin

When I awakened last week to see our small corner of the Connecticut shoreline resembled a frosted birthday cake, I momentarily enjoyed the sight but then, getting dressed and piling on the warm clothes, I felt impatient for winter to be over. “March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb” I muttered in an effort to encourage myself. Upon reflection at breakfast, however, I realized I was feeling more impatient of late….. and not just with the weather but with a host of every day occurrences. It could be the weather has been affecting my temper control gauge but here are just a few annoyances that have gotten under my skin lately (my mother used to call them things that gave her the heebie-jeebies).

•Calling a telephone number and being plugged into a menu of choices My problem is never one of the six choices on their menu and after I have listened to the firm’s latest promotional pitches, my account balance, their web site, after hours phone numbers and newest locations in Arkansas, I am screaming into the phone and madly pushing zero. “I want to speak to a representative” I shout.

“I’m sorry”, another slightly sterner recorded voice replies, “That is not a valid answer”. Now near tears, and repeating each syllable as one might when trying to communicate with a 3 year old, I try. “ I want to speak to a live person…. I need help”. If I’m lucky, a recording may finally respond, “Someone will be with you momentarily”….. after which, I will only have to endure fifteen minutes of awful guitar strumming music alternated with “Your call is very important to us” before reaching a living, breathing, English speaking individual. If it is an unlucky day, I am either connected with their branch in New Delhi or there is that sudden fatal click and disconnect leaving me no choice but to return to the menu and repeat the entire agonizing process all over again. Equally as frustrating as the “menu”,is the programmed robot voice right out of “The Stepford Wives”. It can apparently hear you but can only respond to certain words when it asks you its pre-set questions. If, for instance, you say, “That is not the problem” instead of the requisite “yes” or “no”, you throw the poor thing into a state of confusion and she(have you ever noticed its always a female voice?) will insist on starting over.

•The cost of movies, like my supplemental health insurance, seems to increase every time I turn around. Even a senior ticket is no bargain and then certain theaters have the gall to tell you you’re forbidden to bring in your own candy. I would like to see a copy of the law that says I have to pay three times the price for my Hershey bar in their theater. You can bet that I’m going to smuggle my Snickers no matter what they say.
• I could probably do an entire column on rude drivers but some of the worst offenders are people who don’t signal causing you to wait un-necessarily to make
a turn or to slam on your brakes when you realize they are going to turn. Other drivers who should be banished are those who insist on having their radios at full last. Even with my windows shut, I nearly jump out of my seat belt when one of those blare-mobiles suddenly pulls alongside me. Of course, I can’t leave this category without citing cell phone addicts who put my life as well as theirs at risk
by putting conversation before attention to driving. Just plain stupid!

Oh well, Daylight Savings starts next Sunday so can Spring be far behind? Perhaps then, along with the flowers that bloom, tra la, I’ll find more patience for my fellow human beings…. even the recorded ones.

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Perhaps you noticed subtle changes in mom or dad

Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays are often a time when adult children and other relations who have not been around aging parents the rest of the year, are all under the same roof for several days or perhaps, even an entire week.

Sometimes, living in close quarters again, families become aware of certain changes that have occurred in the senior’s behavior. As a retirement and home-transition adviser, I often receive concerned calls from family members just after a holiday.

They want to know how to best help their aging relative or if a move to a retirement community would be a possible solution. Here’s a checklist for family members to help in making some basic decisions:

‰First, realize we all change as we age, but the senior individual has a right to make his or her own choices, even when we disagree. You need to find solutions jointly for any problems and discuss them in a caring and concerned way. Your first goal should be to help the older relative find easier methods for doing what they have always done. For example, are they safe managing stairs or would a chairlift be helpful? Perhaps a room on the main floor could be used as a bedroom.

‰Narrow, flimsy cellar steps are dangerous. If the laundry is still in the basement, it could be done at a Laundromat or make sure the steps have rubber treads and put a handrail on both sides, if at all possible. Perhaps the laundry facilities should be moved to the main living level.

‰If the individual lives alone, no matter what their age, they should be wearing a call alert system at all times.

‰Is there a bath on the main floor and are there grab bars by the tub and toilet? Would a comfort height toilet or a walk-in shower make life easier?

‰If they are still driving, are they having any fender benders or are there dents in the garage wall? Do they pass stop signs or have trouble at intersections? For help in discussing driving issues and information about AARP driver safety programs, call 1-888-227-7669 or go to aarp.org/drive. And it is a good idea to research alternative transportation choices before bringing up the subject of driving less or giving up the car.

‰Are they taking all medications in a timely manner? Would a pill organizer help? (Some organizers even have timers as a reminder.) Are there some meds that might be affecting their driving abilities?

‰Medicare open enrollment season ends Dec. 31. Do they need to update their coverage? For help, go to www.aarp.org/medicare.

‰Is their financial and health information in one place and does someone in the family know where to find it in case of an emergency? Do they have any unpaid bills or are they having concerns meeting their bills?

‰Perhaps they are not aware of some of the new helpful products on the market that are senior friendly. There are phones that have family photos next to speed buttons or phones with voice-activated features, portable readers that not only allow instant access to virtually every book, but also allow you to set the print size. There are also alert systems that trigger flashing lights so the hard of hearing are aware when someone is at the door and even home monitoring systems which would allow you to check on a loved one.

‰Sometimes, even with all the available possibilities, the family home is no longer the best choice and a move will not mean loss of independence for the senior, but actually increase their independence and lengthen their life span. Independent and assisted-living communities provide transportation, recreation, exercise, nutritious food, a safe environment and most important, the opportunity for daily stimulation and socialization.

If you would like a helpful list of what to look for when considering these types of communities, write or e-mail me. Planning in advance is a good way to start the new year.

Contact Jean Cherni, founder of the retirement advisory service, Senior Living Solutions, at jeancherni@sbcglobal.net or 15 The Ponds at Hotchkiss Grove, Branford 06405.

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BABY, It's cold outside!

Last week’s low temperatures served to remind all of us that February brings the really dread mixture of bitter cold, snow and ice….a combination that is specially dangerous for seniors. Over half of the incidents of falls due to the ice take place in January and February and over 1/3 of all the people who had to be hospitalized after such a fall, were 60-79 years of age. Just one bad fall can have long term consequences.(I am well aware of this on a personal level, having taken a bad fall inside the house about seven years ago, breaking my ankle in several places with the result that my walking ability is both greatly diminished and often painful.)While walking is a good way to keep fit, here are some basic precautions to take:

1.Choose a good pair of winter boots that are insulated and waterproof with wide,low heels.
2.Some people use ice grippers on footwear but they can become very slippery and must be removed before walking on smooth surfaces.Instead, a cane with a pick device is a good alternative.
3.Be sure to wear bright colors or add reflective material to your clothing when out walking and as it turns dark, carry a flashlight.
Allow extra time to cross streets and leave one hand free to grasp railings or other safety devices.
4.When using public transportation,look for slippery or un-even pavement upon entering or leaving a vehicle. Have the fare ready so you are not distracted. When using a train, mind the gap between the edge of the train platform and the train.
If you are driving, be sure your vehicle is serviced and winterized by your mechanic.

Have an emergency kit in the trunk of the car and carry a cell phone with you.
Always be sure you have a full tank of gas as well as a warm blanket and have water and energy bars in the event of delays. Following are some safety tips for inside the house:

a.Heating devices and household appliances that are fueled by gas, oil ,kerosene or wood can produce deadly carbon monoxide gas.Have carbon monoxide detectors on every level of the house, check the batteries once a month and change them yearly.
b.Space heaters need space. Keep anything that can burn at least three feet away and have a space heater that automatically shuts off if it falls. Do not leave children lone in a room where a heater is running.
c. Do not try to heat room home with a gas stove or oven.

Since most hip fractures occur from falls on the ice, you will want to be sure your
walkways are free from ice and snow and that there is a well secured floor mat by the entrance door. Keep tuned to your local weather station in order to evaluate if weather poses a danger to you. When you think that it might be dangerous,cancel all non-emergency appointments and be sure to have adequate medication,food and pet food, on hand. Lastly, know these weather terms:
Winter Advisory: Weather expected to cause significant inconvenience and may be hazardous.
Winter Storm Watch: Heavy ice and snow expected--- 1-2 days.
Winter Storm Warning: Severe weather about to begin. Stay inside.
Blizzard Warning: Outdoor conditions could be life threatening.

And remember, only forty-one days until Spring!

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Memories of Haiti

“We would like to visit Haiti” we said to the local agent at Carr Travel. She reacted with surprise and dismay. “Oh! no.you really don’t want to go to Haiti do you?"
There are so many nicer, safer places to choose from”. The year was sometime in the early nineties and my husband had long before fallen in love with the country and its’ people during brief layovers during his service in the merchant marine. I had never visited but was eager to see for myself this country which had so enchanted him. Fortunately, the owner of the agency, Sally Carr, overheard our conversation and stepped out from her desk at the rear of the office. She told us that she had traveled to Haiti in the past and loved it and she also told us that if we were willing to abide by certain restrictions and stay primarily in Petion-Ville,
a more affluent area minutes away from Port au Prince, she would book our trip. She proceeded to recommend a small, family owned hotel called Villa Creole, rather than a more luxurious, larger one more often frequented by Americans and other tourists.
I recall landing at the small, very rudimentary Haitian airport and waiting in long lines with many forms to be filled out. Finally, a short taxi ride brought us to the Villa Creole; the only hotel I have ever seen that had no front door. A tree lined drive led to a sheltered open patio which housed the front desk. Exotic, flowering bushes were everywhere and as we registered, we could look past the desk and down some steps to a circular dining room with beautiful views of the surrounding countryside. Rooms were in an adjacent two story concrete block type building and these did have their own doors and locks. Furnishings were almost spartan and I wondered if we had made a mistake but that evening’s delicious dinner and expert, attentive service, re-assured me completely.
The hotel had only a few visitors and soon all of us and the staff, became like one family… with impromptu singing to accompany the small but enthusiastic Haitian four piece band that played after dinner. Among the very few Americans staying there were Pat and Jim King from Albia, Iowa. Jim, a retired banker, had volunteered to serve with a government program designed to help modernize the Haitian banking system.
Pat was also volunteering as an English teacher at one of the local schools. They were both thunderstruck when we appeared the first morning at breakfast and Val happened to be wearing a tee shirt emblazoned with” My daughter is at the University of Iowa and is spending all my money”. “Oh! My God… I don’t believe it” shouted Jim as he jumped up to greet us”. We became good friends.
Also at the hotel, was a New York art dealer but she stayed mainly to herself,
leaving early each morning, going off into the surrounding countryside to scout
for paintings and wood carvings. One of the sad consequences of the earthquake is that in addition to the terrible loss of life , there has been great destruction of irreplaceable art, especially of that in the main museum and churches; a legacy of the Haitian struggle for independence. While we did take one or two small trips to nearby towns and also went into Port au Prince to visit the Palace and the museum, most mornings were wonderfully leisurely; delicious breakfast served poolside under the spreading braches of an almond tree which exuded the most fragrant smell. We could watch women coming down from the towns in the surrounding hills, their heads loaded high with many baskets of goods to be sold in the local markets. After breakfast, I usually enjoyed a relaxing swim in the pool, which most mornings, I had completely to myself. When we did leave the hotel, we were usually quickly surrounded by children, chanting”Donnez-moi une penny”. The adult Haitians always had items for sale, only the children asked for money. Despite the obvious poverty, everyone we met appeared neat and clean, good natured and with a wonderful sense of humor. I had admired a small bread basket, just the right size for two people, which was on our table every morning.
Upon our departure, the hotel’s owner graciously gave me one of the baskets and remarked, “To remember your stay with us”. It is still in use every day at our breakfast in Branford and I wonder now if the hotel and the kindly manager are un-hurt and alive.
It finally came time to leave and we reluctantly departed unwilling to return to
a wintry Connecticut and our usual routine. Arriving at the airport, we were surprised by the huge crowds of people. A major snowstorm had hit New York,
closing all the airports. The American airlines representative told us they
would pay for our transportation back to the hotel as well as an additional night’s stay. (Those were the days when airlines still courted customers).
Absolutely delighted to have an un-expected additional day, we happily accepted the
offer.
While I have these warm memories of Haiti, I am fully aware that this poorest of nations, born of a slave revolt which lasted 13 brutal years, has had 32 government coups in it’s 200 year history of oppression by dictators. Even before the earthquake, half the causes of deaths were due to HIV/AIDS, respiratory infections, meningitis, cholera and typhoid. Most Haitians live on less than $2.00 a day, despite the large sums of money poured into the country by both the U.S.and the United Nations. The hope is that finally, as the country is re-built, the help can be distributed in such a way that it permanently benefits the long suffering Haitian people.

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