This year, Father’s Day falls on the first day of summer, giving us a double reason to be grateful and to celebrate. It is a day when we should honor not only our own fathers, but all the men who have acted as father figures in our lives.
The word, father, is often used to honor spiritual leaders, inventors and originators of an idea or product. Fathers have always been associated with guidance and protection.
I was fortunate to have two father figures in my life. My Dad, a tall, lanky, quiet Pennsylvania Dutchman, who, having been raised by a widowed mother and two maiden aunts, respected and understood women (as much as is possible for any member of the opposite sex).
My other father, with whom I spent every summer, was my childless Uncle Gill, an outgoing outdoorsman and animal lover with a hearty laugh and endless patience.
Fathers are such important figures in a child’s life.
For boys, he is the ideal they aspire to become. Both extremes in our society, the very poor and the very wealthy, suffer from his absence due to either abandonment or work overload. Girls, too, are the products of their father’s influence. He is the final arbitrator, the court of last resort.
Their father is also their first relationship with a member of the opposite sex. They will, according to their experience, either choose a future husband similar to, or the exact opposite from, their own father.
My dad had a very strict moral compass that never wavered. First and foremost, I was always to listen to my mother and never to be disrespectful to her or any other adult. If I disobeyed this, punishment was certain and swift.
I was also taught never to accept money for favors or help given to friends or neighbors. The only “honest” money was money you earned by the sweat of your brow. One of the most lasting lessons of my life was the example set by both my parents who saw people of all cultures, colors, faiths, political beliefs, social and economic levels, as inherently good and of equal importance.
My uncle taught me a love of nature and the outdoors. He was the one who showed me how to fish and swim, handle a bow and arrow and a gun and even how to drive a tractor. He once took me into the forest after a big forest fire so I could see and learn from the devastation it can cause.
My aunt and uncle lived in a remote area near a lake in Michigan where there were few if any other children nearby. In the summers I spent with them, I learned how to use my imagination to entertain myself.
Swinging on a rope swing hung from a huge, shady tree, or playing in my tent in back of the house, I devised all sort of make-believe games with only my dolls or Raffles, the family dog, for company.
I wonder what happens to the development of imagination in some of today’s children who depend on video games for their entertainment. One of the treats of a father-child relationship is just being quiet and in the moment, together.
You grandfathers have a special opportunity to help your grandchildren experience these quiet, bonding times.
Father’s Day is also a day to remember and thank the men who mentor boys through organizations like Big Brother or just by setting good examples in their own lives.
It is said that small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys. Happy Father’s Day and welcome summertime to all.
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